Three Worlds Collide
by WickedOne1
Summary: Two lovable heroines somehow end up in Hyrule...with Legolas? What the crap kind of story is this! pwease read note.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone!! Yeah, you can nag me about my first story not being done yet, but this one will be good, too. Me an' Storm-Child wrote it. Should be pretty interesting. 

Disclaimer: We don't own…Legolas. Yep. And I don't think Penny owns a Landrover, either, heh heh.

"Penny?!"  
Hillary exited her plane and entered the spacious airport after her long flight to England. There was a girl in jeans with dark hair holding up a sign saying "Go Home Hillary!" Penny's American friend knew it was her even before looking at the sign.   
"Penny, you jerk, you shouldn't have!" Hillary exclaimed as she strolled up to the brunette.  
"What? Oh, this?!" Penny replied, looking down at the sign. "Oh, bugger!" she cried, and flipped the poster over, revealing a sign saying "Welcome Hillary!"   
"It's good to finally meet you in person," Hillary said, giving her friend a hug.   
"Yeah, I know. Now, come on, Yank, we've got a long ways to go to get to my home," Penny said, taking one of Hillary's bags. The two fought their way through the luggage claim, and after what seemed like forever, they made their way out of the airport and into the massive parking lot.   
"Have I ever told you how much I hate walking?" Hillary asked Penny as they trudged along across the blacktop.   
"Hmm, no, you haven't. But here's my car," Penny said as they approached a huge black Land Rover.  
"Niiiiiice," Hillary said, heading over to where she expected the passenger's side would be. "Ahh!! A steering wheel!! What the crap is this?!" Penny rolled her eyes.  
"You're in England now, remember? We drive on the opposite side of the road."  
"Weird," Hillary said, hopping into the actual passenger seat of the car. Penny started the engine and they quickly drove out of the parking lot. As they traveled out of the city and further into the country, Hillary began to get a bit nervous.  
"And coming up over this hill you'll get a lovely view of the English countryside," Penny said, stepping on the gas.   
"Ooooh..." Penny's redheaded friend said in awe. "So...you live out in the boonies?"  
"The what?"  
"The boonies...you know, the boondocks...out in the middle of nowhere?" the American said slowly. Penny laughed.  
"Yes, yes. I live in a haunted old cottage next to haunted and scary woods. Out in the middle of nowhere, like you said," Penny said, turning down a darker road.   
"Oh," said Hillary, very briefly. "Can we go see Prince Harry?" Penny laughed again.  
"No! We're going to my house now. We can sightsee tomorrow, kay?" Penny said, briefly looking over at Hillary.   
"Can we hunt for goblins in your haunted woods?" Hillary joked as they took another corner down a darker road.  
"No! There are no goblins in my woods."  
"What about witches?"  
"No!"  
"Are there gremlins?"  
"No!"  
"Tree nymphs?"  
"No! What do you think this is, a fairytale place?"  
"Yes!!"  
"No!"  
"What about witches?"  
"Absolutely not!"  
"Aww, come on! We could be Hansel and Grettel! And look for the candy house!"  
"Hillary, Hansel and Grettel was a German tale, not English," Penny said, laughing.  
"Oh. Please can we look for a candy house?"  
"No!"  
"Alright. Let's look for gnomes. That's my final offer!!" Hillary exclaimed, laughing. Penny sighed in defeat.  
"Fine, we can look for gnomes," she said, shaking her head. "This is my street!" Penny said joyfully as they turned onto a dirt road. The sun was beginning to set, and the place almost looked ominous.  
"Cool!" Hillary cried. They drove another mile down the road, passing no houses, then finally came to a large and inviting cottage. Penny pulled into the driveway and shut the engine off.   
"Home sweet home," she said, watching Hillary hop out of the car.  
"This place is awesome!" Hillary cried as she ran onto the wraparound porch and then gleefully jumped off the steps. She grabbed her bags and ran after Penny into the house. It was warm and spacious inside, and impeccably clean. Penny had quite a good taste in decorating as well, because every room had a theme, and everything matched and coordinated.  
"This is your room," Penny said as she opened a door halfway down the hall. Hillary strolled in after her friend and put her bags down. "I'm sure you'll find it comfortable." They walked into a room across the hall. "And this is my room," Penny said, smiling.  
"Wow, I am impressed," Hillary said, laughing. Penny smiled.  
"Now c'mon, let's go hunt for ghosts in the woods before it gets too dark," Penny said, dragging Hillary out by the hand.  
"I thought we were looking for gnomes!" Hillary cried as they walked down the dirt path. Penny laughed.   
"You can look all you want. But I wanna look for ghosts. Weird things have been happening around here, especially at this time of night. Right when the sun begins to set, I can almost hear moans off in the distance. Once, I thought I heard a scream...I could have sworn I heard a woman scream..." Both girls got a chill down their spines.  
"Creepy," Hillary said, edging closer to Penny. "Some girl might have gotten raped or something," she said, grasping Penny's arm. Penny laughed.  
"That's why I took you along," she said, grinning.  
"What? So you can feed me to the rapist first?" Hillary cried. Penny laughed again.  
"No, silly, strength in numbers!"  
"Oh," Hillary said, chuckling. The girls noticed that it was almost completely dark. They wern't far from the house, so Penny suggested that they should get a flashlight or two so they wouldn't fall and break their ankles. They hurried back to the house, with only the light glowing from inside to guide them. Penny led Hillary into her room.  
"Now, where did I put my flashlight?" Penny thought outloud. As Penny went to work locating a flashlight, Hillary took a look at all of Penny's posters. One, in particular, caught her eye. It was a pinup of Legolas, the platinum-locked elf in "Lord of the Rings."   
"Man, she's got a good taste in guys," Hillary whispered to herself. "Yoink!" she said as she gently un-pinned the picture from the wall. She walked up behind Penny, who was searching under her bed. "Yo, Penz," Hillary said. Penny stood up, looked at the picture, and smiled. "Y'mind if I take this pic with us? Y'know, just for safe keeping?" Penny smiled.   
"Sure," she said. "Let's check my closet. It's gotta be in there," she said, opening a door.  
"Holy crap," Hillary said, looking at the immense closet. She followed Penny inside, still clinging to the picture. Penny was digging in the corner, and just as Hillary began to look on a high shelf, the closet door slammed shut behind them, leaving them in complete darkness.  
"Damn, bugger!!" Penny cried in anger.   
"Gah! If only we could find the light...oh, shit, I dropped the picture!" Hillary cried, dropping to the floor after it.   
"I'm almost there!" Penny cried from the back of the closet. Hillary couldn't seem to locate the picture, so she stood up, and smacked right into a very hard and broad chest.  
"Whoah...Penny...not like I was looking or anything...but...didn't you have bigger boobs?" Hillary said, laughing a bit.  
"What are you talking about?" Penny asked. "I found the doorknob!" she cried proudly.  
"Excuse me?" a deep and sexy voice said.  
"Holy shit!" Hillary cried. "Penny! You're a man!" Hillary cried, backing up quickly, and smacking into the real Penny.  
"What the bloody hell?!" Penny exclaimed, slamming into the door.   
"Excuse me miss...but..." the deep voice said, quickly being cut off by Penny and Hillary's screams.   
"Ahh! Ahh! Get out!" Hillary cried.  
"I'm trying! I'm trying!" Penny yelled, twisting the doorknob.   
"Ladies, I don't know how I got here..." the man said, moving towards the direction of the girls screams. He smacked right into Hillary, who shoved him off quickly.   
"Look, buddy, back off!" Hillary cried.  
"Got it!" Penny exclaimed, swinging the door open. The three were blinded by sunlight, and they hurried out of their dark prison.   
"What the fuck is this?" Hillary asked, gaping at her surroundings. "Did we find a secret door in your closet that led to the outside?" Hillary asked Penny, who was just as shocked as her American friend.  
"No...and even if we did, it would be dark outside, wouldn't it?" Penny asked.  
"True," Hillary replied. They turned around simultaneously to see who the man was, and gasped as they watched who emerged. It was Legolas!   
"Holy shit!" Penny cried. "Are you seeing...who I'm seeing?" Penny whispered, grabbing Hillary's arm. Hillary nodded quickly. Legolas was looking at his surroundings, watching, listening.  
"He's kinda weird," Hillary said, stifling a laugh. "But really attractive," she said, admiring all of him.  
"Hey...why does this place look familiar?" Penny asked, slowly turning around. "Why is there a volcano in the distance? And a castle over there?" Hillary looked around.  
"We couldn't be in..."  
"There's no way..." Penny said, also in disbelief. Legolas walked up to the girls, and smiled at Penny.  
"Hello...could either of you tell me where we are?" Legolas asked, winking at Penny.  
"Well that's easy," Hillary said, smiling.  
"We're in Hyrule," Penny said, blushing a bit.  
  
yeah...alright...tell me how ya like it. kay? bye!


	2. Chapter 2

Right! It's my turn!! And I'm a brit, so that means I'm gonna speak, talk, spell and think like a brit, so no harm done if you don't get what I'm saying! ~*Storm-child*~

~*~*~

Penny

I stared stupidly at Hillary, then at Legolas (God he was fine) then back at Hillary. "Sweet...Lord…Jesus," I muttered, absolutely stunned out of oblivion. 

"Where are we again?" said the handsome elf, he looked just like Orlando Bloom…this was too good to be true.

"We're in Hyrule I guess!" said Hillary in her kick ass American accent. Why the heck was I stuck with a British one!? Okay so that was a dumb question, but it's just so boring…

"Hyrule!?" he asked, looking puzzled. Well, we couldn't stand here all day, I wanna go find Link if we're in Hyrule, by what I can tell he has a really amazing butt! 

"Yeah! Hyrule, we take vacations here all the time, I'm just gonna go for a run!" I said taking of over the hill. 

Hillary was not so easily fooled though. "PENNY! Come back here!" she barked at me. I cowered and dragged myself back.

"THIS IS SO COOL!!" I burst out into a fit of glee. 

"I thought you came here all the time?" Legolas said. Merciful hotdogs, he's a bit of an idiot I think…

"What's two plus two!?" I questioned.

He stared at me long and hard, "Are you alright?"

"NO!" I laughed.

"Penny…will you just calm down!?" Hillary growled at me, I think I was over-reacting here. 

"Okay, sorry." I looked at her and grinned, she softened and gave me a wink, then motioned to Legolas. 'Fucking loaded with the good looks department', she mouthed at me. I giggled, Legolas just smiled amiably and looked around.

I heard a distant galloping….YES! I leapt up, and Hillary turned in that direction as well. I saw a horse crest the hill, and trot slowly towards us. It was Epona alright, but there was no rider. Damn…Epona turned off, and bent her head to munch at the grass. I was about to go over to stroke her when…

"Epona! You friggin' animal where the hell are you!?" I heard a voice…a very sweet and sexy voice. 

I decided to have a little fun, I heard the hollow notes of an ocarina drift out, Epona was just turning her head to listen.

"Quick Hillary! Let's be evil, hum Epona's song with me!" I said, Hillary grinned. She knew exactly what I was planning, and we began to hum.

"That's a nice tune…" said Legolas, giving us a strange look. Epona was looking around, utterly confused, as her song was coming from two different places. I hummed slightly louder, and kept humming after the sound of the ocarina stopped. Epona trotted over to us. The horse looked really confused, like 'What the buggering heck are you doing? I don't know you!." I gently placed my hand on her nose and stroked her, still humming, she seemed to relax, and Hillary came over and stroked her too. Legolas looked quite impressed. 

"That is a very fine beast, looks as if it had been raised by a very good trainer", he announced. Just as he said it I looked up and slowly saw a figure I knew so well come up over the hill. 

Link stood and stared and the three gathered round his horse. His face was sight to see, he looked ready to kill…but he was seriously HOT!! *BING!* Went something in my mind, telling me to look available. 

But that was quickly forgotten when he drew his sword and started advancing towards us. 

"YIKES!", Hillary exclaimed, diving behind Legolas, who had a bow and arrows, and was making it clear by aiming at Link, who had his shield at the ready. 

Something came over me, I don't know what it was, and I don't know where it came from as I'd never seen it before, but I walked out between them. I could have been shot or skewered, but sweet and holy lord I didn't seem to give a damn.

"Guys, guys, guys! Let's not be too hasty! There is no reason to fight!!!,"

Legolas steadily lowered his bow, and Link was grinning at me. 

"Is it just me, or did I put myself in serious danger just now!?," I asked.

"Well…you sorta did, but thanks to you and your humour I have decided to spare you." 

"You think I'm being funny?," I turned to him, an amused look on my face.

"Yup!" he said, sheathing his sword. I heard a strange noise behind me, and turned to see Hillary laughing her head off at me and rolling around on the floor. Legolas was grinning as well. 

"Well to tell you the truth I wasn't mean to be funny, I'm just a bit weak with the blood…".

Link collapsed into a fit of hysteria, Legolas was chuckling away and Hillary was laughing so hard she's begun to snort rather loudly. I really did not get what was so hilariously funny, I wasn't meant to be funny, I was stating a fact! WHAT IS SO DAMN FUNNY!?

I looked around, no signs on my back, no writing on my forehead…I guess this was elfish and American sense of humour. 

"Guys…please…I don't get it……really I don't". I pleaded with them.

"I guess nothing is all that funny really…You just lifted the tension so quickly it's just sorta funny," Legolas said clapping me on the back, much harder than he'd intended to I guess because I squeaked in pain. 

This sent them all into another fit of hysterics. I walked over to Epona who was over seeing the scene with a look of complete confusion. 

"I don't understand it either Epony", I mumbled, calling her by my pet name for her, "They're all laughing at me…it's really annoying".

"…….and that clown over there is Penny", I heard Hillary's voice, she was obviously making some introductions. 

"I HEARD THAT PART ABOUT THE CLOWN!" I yelled. I turned back to Epona, ignoring the chuckles from the two guys.

"You see, nobody knows the trouble I feel, nobody knows my sorrow…Nobody loves me, they all see me for something to laugh at!"

Epona gave me a pitiful look and whinnied quietly. I heard someone approaching, Hillary's grinning face floated into view. "Aren't they both gorgeous!!??" she squealed with excitement, "I really like Legolas, he's so, so amazingly gorgeous! Even with the hair!!!" I have to admit, now she'd said it, I did think Link was rather attractive. I threw my hand dramatically up to my forehead in a drama queen swoon. "All they do is laugh at me! I feel so unwanted!!!"

Hillary laughed, "There there Penster," she said using her special name for me, "There, there."

"You laughed at me again", I said sticking my tongue out at her. She stuck her tongue out back at me, I stuck my tongue out back at her and so it went on until we started tickling each other like maniacs, me being quite seriously ticklish thrashed about stupidly squealing like a newborn piglet.

The two guys were giving us very weird looks until I ran into Link in a mild fit of spasm and threw him to the floor. 

"ALRIGHT! You asked for it!!!" He leapt up and started to tickle me as well, now I was being done in by two people and I started to scream loudly.

"GET OFF ME GET OFF ME GET OFF ME GOT OFF ME GET OFF ME GET OFF ME!!!!!!!" I shrieked.

I finally scrambled from their grasp and dashed behind the prince of Mirkwood who stood still, silent and dignified. Hillary and Link started advancing towards me, with seriously evil eyes. I suddenly got the random urge to see if Legolas was ticklish as well.

"Now people, this is seriously degradi-GAAAAAHHH!!" he yelled, leaping a foot in the air from my touch.

"Heh heh heh, he's what? 2, 891 years old…and he's ticklish…this is gonna be fun!" Now all three of us were advancing towards Legolas, eyes glinting evilly. His eyes were wide open in shock and he had his arms out trying to ward us off.

"Now…I think we should talk this through we're acting like very stupid children!" he stammered. 

"Oh come on! Just because you don't wanna get tickled!" said Hillary. He thought for a moment, "That is not the point! But – NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" he yelled, leaping away from us and running faster than I'd expected across the field, we gave chase but we'd never catch up with him, these elves are seriously light on their feet!

We all started to slow down and realised we had no idea where he'd gone. 

"Umm…where's Legolas gone?" said Link.

"Beats me", said Hillary.

I was about to say something when there was a great rushing sound next to my ear and a loud cackle; I was just turning when I heard Hillary scream. "PENNY! WATCH OUT!!!".

"It's a poe!" yelled Link. There was a great crack and a dull throbbing sensation filled my head, before I sank into blackness.

~*~*~

Good grief, it hit me on the head! That's enough to give anyone a headache!! Well thank you for reading…AND REVIEW IT OR ELSE!! Umm….that was vicious, oh well, bye di bye!


	3. Chapter 3

I just finished watching "The Majestic," good movie. I saw it at the movies when it came out, but I rented it this time. And you know what I realized? Jim Carrey is a hot dude, lol. Even though he's kinda old, he's wicked handsome. There I go again with the guy thing. I need a boyfriend. Sheesh.  
  
*Link*  
  
Ouch, that looked like it hurt. Penny crashed down to the ground, and the Poe disappeared in a puff of purple smoke, cackling like nobody's business.  
"YOU PRICK!" I heard Hillary exclaim. I hoped to hell that she wasn't talking about me. I turned around, and she was running over to where it disappeared. "YOU KILLED PENNY!! THE ONLY FRIEND I HAD HERE! YOU KILLED PENNY! AND THEN YOU LEFT! COWARD! GROW SOME BALLS, AND GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT HERE! I'LL KILL YOU UNTIL YOU DIE FROM IT!!!"   
"Uh...Hillary...Poes are already dead," I reasoned, watching her explode into a fit of rage. In the meantime of all he screaming, Legolas rushed right over to Penny and helped her out. I ran and got some water from the stream, and soon enough she was coming to. I walked up to them and kneeled besides her. She was quite pretty...but I kinda liked the redhead too...Hillary. She was running around us screaming and flailing her arms like a lunatic.  
"PENNY'S DEAD! PENNY'S DEAD! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!"  
"Good God would you SHUT UP?!" Legolas screamed. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared. I couldn't believe it. Legolas didn't look like the kind of guy that lost his temper easily.  
"But I didn't even get to meet Prince Harry," she whined, pouting.  
"She's not dead," Legolas said calmly. "She breathing. And when she wakes up, she'll have a splitting headache probably, so...just...stop screaming, okay?" Hillary nodded, and shrugged. It was awkwardly silent for a while.   
  
*Legolas*   
  
I cradled Penny in my arms until she opened her pretty brown eyes. She smiled up at me. Aw man she was beautiful.  
"G...G...God? Is this heaven??" she asked slowly, sitting up.  
"No...Penny...it's..." Hillary started.  
"Whoah GOD WHERE IS THAT SONOFABITCH?!" Penny screamed, jumping to her feet. She only got a few steps before grabbing her head and stumbling backwards. I caught her before she hit the ground.  
"Easy there, Penster," Hillary said, suprisingly calm.   
"But I wanna!!" Penny cried, trying to get up. "Ow," she said, sitting down and holding her head. Link walked over and handed her a cold cloth.  
"Come on everybody," he said, bringing his horse over. "Let's go to my place. Penny can lay down, and I have some food if y'all are hungry." I helped Penny onto the horse, and we walked across the field together.  
"Don't worry, Penny," Hillary said, walking next to her friend. "If that thing had'a come back, I would have killed it. Even though it's dead, I would have killed it again," she said, smiling up at Penny. Penny smiled back.  
"Thanks, Hill," she said. Link and I kinda grinned at eachother, and continued on.   
  
*Hillary*   
  
When we finally reached Link's treehouse, Penny and I were shown inside. Link was showing us everything, and getting rather too touchy-feely with me. An occasional brush of the arm there, a hand on the lower back there...I finally had to kick him out. Of his own house. I know.  
"And here's some extra blankets if you need it," he said, smiling at me.   
"Link, it's like, 70 degrees (Farenheit!) out there. I think she'll be all set."  
"Right," he said. Penny looked up at Link, all smiles.  
"Hey babe," Penny said, patting his lower back, "why don't you get the heck out of here so me and Hill can talk, kay?"   
"Yeah, get the crap out, girl talk," I said, shoving him out the...door flap, tee-hee.  
"Now," Penny said, sitting up.  
"What the crap are we gunna do?" I asked, sitting next to her.  
"No clue," she replied, sighing.  
"I really think Legolas is hot," I said, turning to face her.  
"Mmm," she replied. "Link too."   
"Yep."  
"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"  
"Yep." We both grinned, and quickly headed out the door...flap...aahahahahaha!!  
  
*Link*  
I quickly jumped down to talk to my man Legolas.   
"Hey, buddy, what do you think of them?" I asked, walking up to them.   
"Dunno what to think," he said, shuffling his feet.  
"Well, I think we've officially adopted them, and I know they're not gunna leave us alone, so..." He just looked up at me and nodded. "And we're the only guys here, so we gotta stick together." He nodded again. "You don't say much, do you?" He shrugged.  
"I don't think nuch needs to be said." After that comment, the girls came out of my house. When Legolas saw Penny, his whole face lit up.   
"Hiya Penny!" he cried, rushing to help her off the ladder.  
"Hi!" she said happily. She ran right past him and straight to me. "Hi babe!" she exclaimed, smiling.  
"Uh...hey," I replied, looking around.   
"Uh, guys," Hillary said. "We need stuff. You know, to keep us protected."   
"I'll protect you!" I exclaimed, hurrying to Hillary's side. I liked her...alot.  
"No, we need to protect ourselves," Penny said, walking up to me.  
"So come on!" Hillary cried. "Take us shopping!!"  
  
Okay, that's enough. Review, or die.


	4. Chapter 4

Oooooooh Kay! Now it's my turn again!! I hope you like this, wacky ain't it? All the more reason to love it!

~*Storm*~

~*~*~

Penny

"SHOPPING!?", I exclaimed, a huge grin spreading across my face in half a second. Link sighed.

"Alright, alright I'll take you shopping". He said with the excitement of a two day old tuna.

"YAHOO!!", me and Hillary screeched doing a little dance. "We're going to go-o shopping, we're going to go-o shopping", we sang, linking arms and skipping around in circles. 

I saw Legolas looking at me out of the corner of my eye. He wouldn't stop staring at me, wahey! I get some attention. I was starting to realise, as much as I wanted Link, I think he liked Hillary, anyway that didn't matter Legolas was really cute!

I Broke off from our dance and ran over to him squealing. He looked quite shocked, but when I just put my arm around him and relaxed, he didn't seem to mind.

"Okay, let's go now", said Hillary, leading the march out of the forest. I noticed some of the Kokiri looking at us quite strangely, I stuck my tongue out at one.

"What? Never seen a boy and girlfriend on a date before!?", I joked rudely. The Kokiri looked horrified, and darted into a near by house. Link and Hillary started laughing and Legolas was beaming dreamily. 

Once we were out of the forest and walking across the field, I'd managed to grab Link and Hillary and we were all marching along, in one long line, all arms round shoulders.

"Now, this way, no one get attacked by poes!", I grinned wickedly. 

"Okay", said Link, trying not to laugh, "We have to go to Kakariko and get you looking normal…".

"We are normal", said Hillary with a frown as if to say 'You ass-hole you're the one who looks stupid!'.

"Not in Hyrule", said Link, rolling his eyes. Hillary stuck her tongue out at him when he looked away. She finished expertly just as he looked back, but gave it away by looking extremely guilty. I giggled, giving it away further. Link glared at us, I knew he was joking but it was still quite scary, so I hid behind Legolas. One problem, I couldn't stop laughing.

"Are you laughing at me?", said Link, his face bobbing into view. I slid round further, trying to avoid him, and proceeded to laugh even harder, "No-ho ho ho ho ho!!!", I ended up saying.

"You know, I think you are laughing at me", he said with a grin, face appearing again. "I swear I'm not!", I squeaked as he somehow managed to get between me and my protection. "Legolas help!", I started screeching as Link started chasing me.

"Go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away!!!!!!!!!", I started screaming as we ran round and round in one big, stupid and pointless circle. 

"Legolas, Hillary, anyone help meeeeeeeeeeee!", I joked. Well, it was taken as a joke by my friends, but obviously not by the royal guard who came galloping past.

"I'll save thee fair maiden!", he cried heroically.

I stopped dead in my tracks because I hadn't seen who had said it. "What the…?", was all I managed before I was scooped up by this…guy and he started galloping off with me. "WHAT?", I shouted.

"I have saved you young lady!", he said, obviously proud of himself.

"I WAS KIDDING AROUND!", I yelled at the top of my voice. 

"You are safe now!", he said, totally off the subject at hand. I struggled violently.

"What are you doing!?", he asked, before losing grip. 

I landed with a heavy thud, all the wind getting knocked out of me.

'Why me?'. I thought, 'Beaten up by poes, and abducted by castle guards, how humiliating'.

I heard footsteps zooming towards me at a fast pace. Legolas came into view.

"Penny? Are you okay?", he asked, concern flooding his brown eyes.

"HELP!", I mouthed, "I CAN'T BREATHE!!!".

Legolas

Fear leapt up somewhere in my chest, as I saw penny struggling to breathe. Her deep brown eyes filled with fear almost as strong as mine. 

Link and Hillary finally caught up.

"Oh my goddesses!", Link said, "Is she alright?".

"She can't breathe!", I said, my voice edged with panic.

"I know what to do!", said Hillary, acting like she was the heroine. She splayed her hands in some weird shape and thudded them hard into Penny's stomach. I winced, feeling her pain.

Penny started coughing and then she was breathing normally again.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"AAAAIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!", she celebrated, opening her arms.

Link looked at her, "Are you okay?".

"I'm fine, I'm just wondering you know…How come I'm the one who keeps getting beat up by everything!!!???". She said, asking no one in particular. 

I really wanted to say 'Because you're so beautiful, and they're so jealous of you', but I was way too shy. Hillary looked at me as if she'd read my mind, but understood what I felt.

Link stood up, "Okay, well, shall we get going now?". He asked. We all nodded in agreement and set off.

Penny

When we reached Kakariko I thought I'd gone somewhere else, it was much bigger and more built up than in the game, and there were way more people around. We were making our way to a nearby shop which boasted a sign saying "Fine clothes for Ladies and Gentlemen", I had a big urge to cross off the 'fine clothes' part and paint on 'Hear ye, hear ye' at the end of it. I started lagging behind from my group of friends to look at a small and dark shop tucked away. "Magic and Mystery" It said on the faded sign. This was my kinda shop!

I was looking closely at something in the window, because I couldn't quite figure it out. Was it a pickled Dodongo? Cool!

Something grabbed onto my shoulder, I looked up into the eyes of a burly man. He looked like a really tough guy, in the nasty sense.

"Hey sweet cheeks, how much for the night?". He said, sickly, sweetly. I was nearly sick, I wouldn't touch him for a million rupees! I was just about to answer when Legolas appeared by my side.

"Sorry, she's with me", he said quickly and sharply turning me around and frog marching me away from the gang of gutter snipes who were gathering, obviously looking for 'a good time'. 

"Enjoy! She looks like a good one!", the man called after us, followed by howls of laughter from the rest of them.

"Don't wander off, I don't want you getting hurt!", said Legolas like a big brother. 

I looked up into his eyes with a small smile, just to check if her really did care. He looked back and then quickly looked away, pretending to be interested in something else.

I grinned broadly. He cares!

"Penny! How the hell do you manage it!? You are attracting trouble like bees to honey!". Hillary asked me quizzically.

"Trouble is my middle name!", I said proudly.

Link smiled. I don't think they say that in Hyrule, well, new one for him. 

"Okay, before we go in, it's you two we're looking for. I think Legolas looks perfectly normal, but trousers on a girl look…weird here". Link said, as inoffensively as he could manage.

"Okay, okay, let's just go in shall we?". I offered, striding in before anyone could answer me.

It was quite dark inside and rows upon rows of dresses and tunics were hanging on rails along the sides of the shop. A musty smell of old materials filled my head. Evening Sunlight drifted lazily in through the windows, and particles of dust danced slowly in the rays. 

A little woman in a purple and blue dress with matching hat popped up from behind the counter at the far end. Did I say little? I meant tiny. As in, practically up to my hip.

"Yes, how my I help you, Ladies and Gentlemen?", she said in a really cute old granny voice. I really wanted to go 'Hear ye hear ye', but I felt that the seriousness harboured in the atmosphere should not be broken. Her voice actually sounded exactly like the granny from Sylvester and Tweety.  

"We are looking for two dresses for these two girls here". Said Link. I whipped round to face him.

"I thought I was getting a tunic!", I announced.

"You're a girl, you are getting a dress", Link answered calmly.

"Girls can wear Tunics too!", I retorted.

"Yeah, but you're getting a dress", Link grinned.

"I wanna tunic!", I said childishly. 

"You're getting a dress", Link said, putting his hands on his hips.

"I am GOING to GET a tunic!".

"Dress".

"TUNIC!".

"Dress!".

"TUNIC!".

"DRESS!!!".

"TUNIC!!!!!!".

"DRESS DRESS DRESS!!!!!!!!!".

"TUNIC TUNIC TUNIC!!!!!!!!!".

"I'm the one with the money, I'm the one paying, DRESS and that's final!". Link said, ending the argument. Cocky Bastard! I just started muttering to myself, loudly about what he has between his legs is about as much use to anyone as a piece of boiled squid. 

He turned and fake glared at me. Legolas was having trouble suppressing hysterics, as was Hillary and the old lady. 

I could of sworn that link was about to pick me up and chuck me in a pile of clothes when the old lady spoke. "Well, I'll have to do a couple of measurements first and then you can pick your colour". She trotted off to the back of the shop and through a door obviously to find her measuring tape or something.

I darted to safety by putting Legolas between Link and myself. Legolas's face was still red from an effort to hold down laughter. Hillary was having much less luck as spurts of giggles were shooting out every time her mouth even opened slightly. 

"Quiet you two!", Link mock threatened them. "This is between me and that girl".

"Lady to you boy!".

"Man to you 'Lady'!".

"Woman to you ass-hole!". Link didn't have a come-back to that one and ended up gaping like a fish and wagging his finger stupidly at me. 

The little woman came trotting back, and smiled broadly at me as she unravelled the tape and proceeded to put it round my waist. She muttered some measurements under her breath.

"Now dear, if you don't mind", she said. I didn't get it. 

"Huh?".

"I have to take your chest measurements". She said matter-of-factly. 

"Oh…right", I said, casting a glance in Link's direction, he was grinning at the thought of me getting humiliated. Legolas was acting like a gentleman and looking out of the window. Hillary was pretending to be interested in a dress to give me some privacy.

"Turn around pervert, everyone else knows the word decency", I scolded Link. He suddenly realised the joke would soon be on him and turned around quickly. The little lady took her measurements, and when she was done she said to me. "I think I have a couple of dresses in your size, size 8, the colours are, Pink, green, and Turquoise". 

I thought for a moment. I didn't look good in Turquoise, my skin was slightly too pale. Pink, was too bright, and went better with a tan. "What kind of green?", I asked, dreading Lime, very cool for rooms, crazy on clothing. 

"It's a bit darker than that Gentleman's tunic", she said motioning towards link with a wrinkled hand.

"Some Gentleman", I smirked. "Okay, I think that sounds okay", I hate to boast but you either suit green or you don't. I happen to look quite good in dark green. "Can I try it on and see if it fits?".

"Yes dear, there is a room around the back, please just let me find it!". She dived into a rack and disappeared for some moments, before re-emerging with the dress. It looked nice enough and I went to the back to try it on. "When I come out be truthful!", I said pointing at everyone in turn, and winking at Legolas before I went in. His face lit up like a light bulb.

Link

Penny is so funny! I think I under-estimated her earlier, I thought she was a bit air-headed and clumsy, but actually she's really smart and full of comebacks.

I was broken off from my thoughts by Hillary, who was giggling because the tape was cold. I smiled, she was so sweet. My mind drifted a bit as the shop keeper was giving her choices of dresses. I think she went for a red and black one, I wasn't really listening. 

I was thinking back over my adventures with the temples and then defeating Ganondorf at the end of it all. I'd had a feeling all the time when he was in Hyrule, and when I'd killed him, the feeling went, but it was beginning to creep back. But there was no way to get out of the void in which he was trapped, no way. Or was there…?

My thoughts shattered when I heard Penny's voice.

"Does my bum look big in this?", she joked. I slowly turned, but my gaze fell on Legolas first. His face was priceless, his eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets and his mouth was hanging open. I smacked it shut for him.

"Concentrate! The lady asked you a question", I jested. His grinned and raised an eyebrow.

"Have you actually looked at her yet?".

Just as he said it I looked. Sweet Nayru…

Legolas

Penny looked GORGEOUS; the dress was off the shoulder and had long draping sleeves which ended at the elbow. I felt every system on red alert, crying out to just run over and kiss her. But I had to resist, I didn't know if she felt the same way.

I looked back at Link. His face was priceless, his eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets and his mouth was hanging open. (A/N. That was NOT an accident, it's just one of those thingies…oh I dunno, you should!)

"So…do I take it or not?", Penny asked looking at me. No please, don't do that, you're melting my insides. 

"It looks fantastic", I said, surprised that I'd finally managed to give her some sort of compliment. Her face beamed at me. "Really? Oh thank you Legolas! Now your job is to get Link to buy it for me".

"Huh? Wha..?", Link said coming round from a session of pleasure overload. "Oh yeah, you're having it!", he said with an over exaggerated move.

"Uhm…thanks?", said Penny, amazed that Link had actually agreed with her.

Then Hillary came out, she also looked pretty stunning. The dress was really nice. Link started blinking rapidly.

"Two beautiful women, two lucky guys, only which one to choose?" he joked.

'Well I know which one I want', I thought to myself.

~*~*~

OOOOOOOOOOOHH!! Saucy! Okay, yeah well I hope you like it, and if you don't, then don't bother reviewing! If you did even remotely like it…REVIEW GODDAMNIT! Me and Hill need some feedback babeh! Thanks, tootles!__


	5. Chapter 5

HIYA FOLKS! Alright, I don't wanna talk much, although I have a tendency to...HEY! I saw the greatest Spongebob episode today! With the Krusty Krab video thingy...the POOP episode...I almost died...lmao. People Order Our Patties. Not the other kind of poop, you sickos!!   
  
*Hillary*  
  
Wow, dresses suck. I was going to make a big stink about having to wear one, but Penny did it for me. I wanted to get the crap out of this store, though; my eyes were starting to itch and it smelled too much like mothballs. Link paid, and we walked back out into Kakariko.   
"Now where do we go?" Legolas asked, looking around.   
"Weapons," Link said, walking in a different direction.   
"WOOO!" Penny shrieked. "Sharp and pointy ones?!"   
"Yes, if I can trust you with them," Link said, shaking his head. They all were heading off without me, because my eyes became fixated on this gross woman, covered in mud, which was standing next to a muddy building. In her hand was a cat, and she was whacking it into the building repeatedly, and each time the cat made contact with the stone, it made this "reaar" sound. (Think "Monty Python and the Holy Grail.") I had to stifle my laughter, because even though I hated cats, it was kind of cruel. When the rest of the group finally noticed I was missing, they came back and stood at my sides, watching in horror at the muddy woman and her cat.  
"That's so..." Legolas said.  
"Disturbing..." Penny finished.  
"Come on, guys," Link said, pushing us all along. I smacked right into Legolas; man he was fine. "Try not to pay attention to the very poor in Hyrule...especially the mentally insane..." Penny laughed, as well as Legolas. I just kinda walked along, taking in all that was around me. When I finally came back to earth, Penny and Link were arguing over something again.  
"Can I PLEASE have a bottled fairy?" Penny asked, tugging on Link's sleeve.  
"No."  
"Please?!"   
"No!"  
"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?!"  
"No no NO! I can get them elsewhere for free! 50 rupees is a crime to charge!"  
"But I wanna set it freeeeeee!!! And feel all tinglily and better again!" Link rolled his eyes, but when I looked over at Legolas, he had them fixated on Penny. I could tell he was in love. There goes my chance with him. And Link seemed to like her, too...well, my chances with either of them are going down the tubes as I type this inner monologue. How does she do it? Get guys wrapped around her finger? I need tips! Tips! Oh well.   
"Here it is," Link said, smiling proudly, like he performed some great act by walking us down a dirt path. Legolas opened the door for Penny, then let it go as Link and I walked in.  
"Thanks alot, Legs," I said sarcastically.  
"Yeah, Mr. Manners," Link said, shoving him a bit.   
"You're welcome," he said, kind of in a daze, watching Penny browse the shop.  
"Come on Penny, Hillary, we'll find you something," Link said, bringing us together. "Legolas, what do you fight best with?"   
"Bow. Bow and arrow," he said. Duh.  
"Alright. Penny, what do you like to fight with?" Link asked.  
"Fire..." she said with a glazed look in her eyes. "Fire and pointy things..."  
"Right...so...Hillary, what do you like to fight with?"   
"My fists," I said, watching Link's eyes become fixated on my clenched hands. "My fists, and baseball bats, and broken bottles. Makes 'em bleed faster." Penny, Link, and Legolas stared at me, and then blinked in unison. "What?!"  
"Yep...alright. You each get your own set of bow and arrows, just in case, and a shield. Now, would you prefer daggers or a sword?"  
"Daggers!" Penny exclaimed. "Better for running and jumping."   
"Alright," Link said, taking down a pair of emerald-covered daggers. He handed them to an excited Penny, and then looked at me.   
"Howabout you, Hill? Howabout a hammer or something?"   
"A hammer?!" I screamed. "You give her elegant weapons and I get a hammer?!" Legolas started snickering, so I shoved him into a display of shields. "Shut up elf boy!"  
"It was just a suggestion!" Link exclaimed, backing up. Penny looked over and started laughing.  
"Go Hillary!" she cried. I smiled at her, and then focused my wrath back at Link.  
"A HAMMER?!"  
"Yeah, like, my Megaton Hammer?" Link mentioned sheepishly.  
"A hammer? I want swords, Link, swords! Two of them! So I can slice people into three pieces without trying!"  
"Hell no, I'm not paying for two swords. You get one."  
"Two!"  
"One!"  
"Two!"  
"One, or you get nothing!"  
"Temper temper," the shopkeeper said, walking up to us.   
"Back off, bud," I shouted.  
"Come on, Hill," Link said. "You're getting one. Now, pick it out so we can leave." I grumbled, and picked out one with a jet-black handle and rubies. Link paid for everything, and handed Penny and I our gear.  
"It's too bad," the shopkeeper said as we were leaving, "too bad that your redhead doesn't behave as well as your brunette! Because I'd offer you those for free if you let me have them both for a night!"   
Penny and I screamed at the same time "WHAT?!"   
"Come on, Penny," Legolas said, picking her up over his shoulder and rushing out the door. I ran at him full speed, but Link caught me first.   
"YOU PRICK! YOU CAN'T TREAT WOMEN LIKE PROSTITUTES!" I screamed, trying to kick out of Link's grasp. "AND YOU SHOULD GO TO SCHOOL AND LEARN HOW TO READ AND WRITE! WHO FUCKING SPELLS 'SHOP' 'S-H-O-P-P-E'?" I screamed, referring to the sign outside the door. He just laughed as I was yanked out the door. Legolas was trying to calm Penny down, too.   
"He can't!! I'm gunna kill him I'm gunna kill him!!!" she screamed, fighting Legolas, and making quite a scene. When Penny and I couldn't fight anymore, we just stormed off ahead of the guys.  
"God, this place fucking sucks," I said to Penny as we stomped along, past the muddy lady and her cat, and to the steps out of Kakariko.   
"No shit," Penny said, crossing her arms. "People can't treat us like that...like we're friggin pieces of meat..." Penny screamed out in anger. I sighed, and took out my bag of to hold stuff (Yes, Link got us those for our old clothes and other goods,) and pulled out my pants.  
"You getting changed?" Penny asked. I shook my head, and pulled out my lighter from my back pocket. And NO I'm not a smoker!  
"Here you go Penny," I said, handing Penny the lighter.  
"What's this?" She looked at it, and then smiled gleefully.  
"You said you liked fire alot, so, you can have that. It's my favorite zip-o, so take care of it, okay?"  
"Wow! Thanks so much! I will!" Penny exclaimed gleefully, giving me a hug. She flipped the top and then lit it. "FIRE!" she exclaimed, running around. I smiled.  
  
*Legolas*  
  
Link and I watched the girls walking up ahead. When we saw Penny give Hillary a hug then scream "fire," we knew everything was alright again. I watched Penny dance around the field with a flame in her palm, kind of scary, I know, but she was so beautiful. Everything seemed to flow in slow motion when I watched her, the way her dress flowed in the breeze, the way her hair whipped about her as she ran, the way her dark eyes caught the sunlight...  
"Legolas?" Link snapped his fingers in front of my face as I stood there, watching Penny dance with the fire in her hands. "Legolas, buddy, snap out of it," he said, and I turned to him.  
"Huh, oh, yeah," I said, beginning to walk again. I crossed the quiet stream on a bridge and leaned against a tree, watching Penny run around.   
"Doesn't that girl ever get tired?" Link asked, laughing, and shaking his head. I just shrugged, and sighed. Link looked at me funny.  
"Hey, where's Hillary?" he asked, looking around. I just shrugged again, and he went off to search for her. I watched Penny run back up to me, the flame now out.  
"Hey, Legolas!" she called, smiling at me. I almost melted then and there.   
"Hey, Penny," I mumbled, smiling back.  
"Look what Hillary gave me!" she said, holding out her hand. I reached out, and touched her hand. It was so soft...  
"Legolas?" she asked. I snapped out of my trance, and grabbed the thing. "Isn't it cool?" I flipped open the metal case, and stared. There wasn't any fire...  
"I don't get it..." I said, shaking it. She laughed, and grabbed it back. Again...with the hands...  
"Here, you just hold this down and presto! Insta flame," she said, showing me the flame.  
"Mmm..." I said, looking at the flame, then into her dark eyes. I don't know what came over me just then...a brief flood of confidence...and I tipped her chin up, and kissed her soft lips. She seemed shocked, but relaxed after a few seconds. She pulled away, and smiled. I smiled back, and went in for another kiss.  
  
*Link*  
  
I walked away from the lovesick puppy...I mean Legolas...and went off to find Hillary. I didn't see her anywhere...almost panicked...but then I relaxed. Can't find someone when you're a nervous wreck. I looked around, and noticed Hillary further downstream with Epona. She was sitting on the embankment with her feet in the water, dress pushed up to her knees. Epona had her nose nuzzled against Hillary's neck, and I could hear her laughing and humming to herself...sweet girl. I walked up behind them quietly, and watched for a minute before speaking up.   
"That's a pretty song," I said, and she jumped.  
"Cripes, Link, you trying to kill me?" she exclaimed, turning back around.  
"Sometimes," I said, laughing. "What song was that?"  
"Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata," she said, splashing her feet in the water.  
"Huh?" She laughed.  
"It's a famous piano piece by a famous composer that lived a while ago."  
"Oh," I said, laughing. I sat down next to her. "You play?" I asked.  
"Yep. And the drums, too," she said, pushing her long hair behind her ear.  
"That's a real nice song. Do you sing, too?" I asked.  
"No," she laughed. "I suck."   
"No you don't! That was great!"  
"Thanks, but I do. And that song is very solemn and melancholy...I'm suprised you liked it." I shrugged.  
"Why did you come over here by yourself?" I asked, looking at her face. She didn't look back.  
"I dunno, so you and Legolas could have time with Penny."  
"Huh? We're a group, a group of four, and we should stick together." She just stared blankly at the water, silently. "So let's get going, alright?" She looked up at me, then back down at the water. I turned around to see Penny and Legolas locking lips. I almost hurled all over poor Hillary. "Gross! Get a room!" I screamed. They didn't even break the kiss, Penny just flipped me the bird. Hillary turned around, almost in anguish, and then turned back to the stream.  
"Fuckin gross," she muttered. I cracked up.  
"Come on, let's go before they remove eachother's tonsils," I said, pulling her arm. She yanked it back.  
"Don't want to."   
"Yes, come on!"   
"No!" she splashed water at me. I screamed, and pushed her into the water.   
"Ack! You got my dress wet!" she cried, splashing more water at me. The water was about waist-deep as she stood flat-footed on the bottom.   
"It'll dry," I said, smirking. She walked to the edge, and held her hand out.  
"Alright, let's go. Just gimmie your hand, it's really slippery on the edge here," she said, stumbling a bit. I grabbed her hand, and regretted doing it as soon as our palms met. She yanked me as hard as she could, and I toppled over her head first into the icy water. When I surfaced, she was already racing away, but I caught up to her quickly because the wet dress slowed her down. I grasped her sleek waist and hoisted her up over my shoulders, and threw her back into the stream. I jumped on her as soon as her head reached the surface, and we got into a major fight right there in the water. But now I can understand why she said she fought with her fists...damn they hurt. We struggled there for the longest time, until Legolas and Penny came over, hand in hand, to bitch us out or something.  
  
  
Alright! My fingers hurt! And as always, review or die!!!!! I will send the plague to your house!! The swift, cold hands of death will decend upon you and your family!! Say, that's kinda catchy...I could be a poet or something...*smiles devilishly*  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Wahey! This is what I love about co-writing! You never know where your partner in crime is gonna take you! *Does a dance* Well read on Chickadees I know you love this story, go'on admit it!

~*Storm*~

~*~*~

Penny

I COULD not believe it. Legolas kissed me? Wow! COOL!! I know Hillary and Link had seen…hehe, how embarrassing, Hill was gunna kill me. 

I held Legolas's hand as we went over to the two who were currently killing each other in a shallow pool. They stopped what they were doing and looked up at us as if we'd come over to have a go at them. I caught Link's eye, he looked at me, then looked at mine and Legolas's hands, and then looked away as if hurt. 

'Oh God, you can't fancy me too!' I thought to myself, 'NO, no! The psychic vibes!! You must like Hillary, HIIIIIILARYYYYY!!!' 

I suddenly realised how long the pause had been while I was busy trying to mesmerise Link.

"Yes well!" I said, breaking the silence, everyone looked at me. Oh goody, I like being the centre of attention. "It's getting sorta late, what do we do, camp out and get eaten by a passing stalfos or go….uh…well 'home' I guess", I said. Hillary giggled, and dunked Link quickly before rushing out of the pool and hiding behind me. Link surfaced spluttering angrily and looked around.

"Where'd she go?", he growled at me, evilly. 

"No can do Mr. Half fish, that is confidential information".

"Half fish?", he roared. I grinned wickedly.

"Yeah, Ruto would be ever so pleased". I chuckled. Link couldn't suppress his smile but I knew he would get me back for that remark. 

"You are sooooooo dead Penny".

"I am sooooooooooo not Link", I retaliated even though I knew perfectly well that I was. 

"I'll get you back someday", he promised, "Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe in a minute, but someday, Penny, I'll get you back".

"Oh….I'm shaking", I said. Legolas put an arm around me, and grinned, tiger-style.

"You mess with my girl you mess wid da elf boy", he said in a really cool kind of gangster accent. I started laughing and put my arm around him.

Hillary slowly poked her head out from behind us.

"A HA!", Link yelled, "THERE YOU ARE!". He sent a wave of icy water over the three of us standing there. I glared at him dangerously.

"Hee hee, whoops…sorry", he sniggered, not meaning it at all of course.

"GET HIM!", I screeched, leaping on top of him, sending him plummeting beneath the surface, Legolas and Hillary joined in until the pool was frothing with the bubbles we were making while splashing around stupidly.

"Help I'm sinking!", I said, dramatically doing an impression of the titanic.

Under the water, I saw Link come under too. He grinned devilishly at me, and immediately I knew what he was planning. 

I surfaced, screaming. "EVACUATE! HE'S GONNA…". Before I could say anymore, I was rising up out of the water on Link's shoulders.

"PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!", I ordered angrily. Then I wished I hadn't said it.

"No problem pens, down you get!", he shouted, chucking me and sending me flying to the other side of the pool.

"SHIIIIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIT!", I yelled, Tarzan style, before landing in the water and creating a small scale tidal wave. Legolas waded over and picked me up, you know, draped over the arms as if we were getting married.

"Here comes the bride!", sang Hillary.

"All fat and wide!", finished Link.

I leapt out of my saviours arms and started punching Link hard in the chest.

"OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!!!!!!!!!", he screamed like a girl, falling back in the water, with me straddling him (In the non-provocative sense) so he couldn't get back up again.

Legolas came over and lifted me clear, while link floundered around stupidly. We all decided to embarrass him by waiting him to finish and be standing there just staring at him with 'those' looks.

He finally surfaced and looked at us each in turn.

"Oh….dear", he said innocently looking around at us with puppy dog eyes. Hillary couldn't help cracking up, which set me off, which set the two guys off. Oh dear, what a scene.

I sighed and got out of the water. So…tired suddenly.

"Night night", I said, yawning and laying down on the grass. I closed my eyes and I was gone. 

Link 

I watched somewhat in disbelief as Penny just lay down and…was asleep, just like that, out like a light. I'd never seen anyone go to sleep so quickly…unless they were being killed, but that is a different matter.

"Well….", I started, looking at my two other friends, "I think we might as well follow Penny's example and sleep here tonight".

They both nodded and we slowly made our way out of the water. We all layed down next to penny. I watched slightly jealously as Legolas took the liberty of putting his arm around her waist. 

Despite the fact I was cold and felt alone, I finally managed to drift off into a shallow sleep.

I was awoken, what seemed like seconds later by a quiet humming. The dawn colors were slowly spreading across the sky as the sun peeked over the horizon.

"Near, far, where ever you are, I believe that the heart will, go on". Where the words I heard coming from near the water, along to a really nice tune. I don't think I would ever forget that. Later, I'll see if I can play it on my ocarina.

I got up and looked to see who the heck was singing. I saw Penny sitting by the pool, humming the rest of the tune, she'd sung something about once more, you open the something but I was half asleep so I didn't hear it properly. 

I got up and went over to her. She didn't see me, she was too busy swishing a stick around in the water and humming.

"That's a nice tune", I complimented. She gasped Loudly and spun around, whipping out her dagger at the same time. If I wasn't a friend who she knew I'd be dog meat, she was deadly with those things!

"Oh God! You scared me so much!", she said putting it away. I sat down next to her.

"What was that song?", I asked.

"Oh it was Titanic…it's a song that goes along to a movi…I mean a story".

"It sounded quite sad", I commented.

"It is in a way, but it's mostly about love", she explained, moving the stick around in a heart shape through the water.

"Well you'd know about love", I chuckled, motioning to Legolas. Penny grinned shyly.

"Shut up you", she said quite quietly.

"Are you okay, you don't seem your normal self?", I asked, slightly concerned.

"I'm fine. What would you mean by normal self?". She questioned, raising an eyebrow. I grinned. I mean like, wacky, crazy, super hyper, beat me up all the time Penny. Not the quiet love struck singing Penny. Is that what you and Hillary do? Go and sing solemn songs?". I asked. She giggled.

"Singing is a sign of contentment, as is whistling and laughing". She explained.

"Yeah but why solemn songs?".

"I don't know why but I prefer solemn songs, they're so much more beautiful and mysterious", she said, drawing more shapes with her stick.

"Yeah, but why beautiful and mysterious?" I asked, now thoroughly confused.

"Like, the serenade of water. Send tingles up my spine. Beautiful and Mysterious, it's more feminine, like me, don't you think?" she said, mysteriously.

"It's all like a riddle to me". I sighed, giving up.

"Well, don't you like things that are beautiful?", she asked. I glanced at Hillary.

"Yeah".

"Well, I find solemn music beautiful so I like to sing it".

"Ahh, but why the mysterious?"

"Mystery and Magic, are my two most favorite things", she said simply. I was starting to see her point, but it still would not reveal itself properly. 

"Okay", I said. Then we just sat in silence.

"What do you think of Hillary?", Penny suddenly whispered, taking me by surprise. I blushed a tasteful shade of lobster red.

"Well….she's funny, and sweet…….and…".

"Yes, AND…", she exaggerated, giving me a knowing look.

"And beautiful", I admitted, hiding my face in my knees. Penny put a friendly arm around me. 

"I knew it!" she said triumphantly.

"Yeah but…" I accidentally started. And wished I hadn't.

"But what!!??" she said excitedly.

"Nothing".

"Tell me!".

W-well…", I gulped, "You're sorta pretty too…", I mumbled, most likely going redder. She looked as if she was highly embarrassed.

"Well sorry I'm taken!", she said, giving the stirring Legolas a little wave.

'Why do I never know when to stop', I asked myself in my head, 'why am I such a big mouthed idiot?'.

"Look", said Penny, "Go for Hillary, you just don't know how it might end up". She got up and left me with a wink, before going over to Legolas.

"Morning Sunshine", she grinned cheesily.

Legolas

I woke up and looked into the face of an angel…no it was Penny, still an angel though.

"Morning Moonshine", I responded.

"Huh? Why moonshine?", she said, conveniently sitting on my groin. 'Oh shit please don't sit there, you'll feel something bad if I have to look into your eyes much longer'. I thought, blushing. 

"Because you're Mysterious and Beautiful, like the moon", I said. She smiled, and kissed me, then turned to Link.

"See what I mean!" She grinned. Link smiled, and rolled his eyes.

"Crazy, crazy!", he started muttering. Hillary moaned beside me, I looked over. She was groping around on the ground behind her as if looking for a sheet to wrap up in.

"So noisy!" she mumbled sleepily. The three of us who were awake started laughing. Hillary sat up, bleary eyed and woozy. 

"Huh? Wha? Whazz the time?" she asked with a large yawn.

"Time to get up", said Link simply, rising to his feet. Penny got up too.

"What are we going to do today?", Hillary asked, stretching.

"Link, can we go see Gerudo Valley, I've never been there", asked Penny. Hillary surged to her feet. 

"Gerudo Valley? Cool! I'm there!!"

"What's that?", I asked, puzzled. Everyone knows this Hyrule and I don't it's SO annoying!!!

"You'll see", said Link, setting off in a westerly direction.

"Yahoo! We're going to the valley, jumping off bridges!" sang Penny skipping ahead. I chuckled at her antics and set off after them. I looked back to check if Hillary was coming. Her face sent my heart pounding. She looked as if she'd seen someone get cut open right in front of her.

"PENNY! LOOK OUT!", she screeched.

This sent me into a state of panic, the last thing I wanted was for Penny to be in danger again. I spun around, Penny was skipping straight towards a shimmering black portal, which radiated malevolent evil. It all happened in slow motion as I watched in horror. Penny's quizzical frown turned to a frightened scream as she stopped just too late, but at the same time Link went for a flying tackle to try and save her. With a large 'zip' noise they both get sucked in and the doorway disappeared. 

Penny

It was dark, too dark. Pitch Black, I could not see my hand, even inches in front of my face. I felt a presence beside me, and leapt away.

"W-w-who's th-that?", I stammered, fear taking over.

"Penny is that you? It's me Link!". said a voice.

"Oh thank God!", I said, feeling my way towards the voice. "Keep talking, I'm gonna find you". 

"Okay…umm….la dee da?". 

"Good enough, keep going!". I urged him.

"Tra la la, find me quick, it's really scary, where the heck are we?".

I smacked into a broad chest. "Ow", said both me and Link in unison.

"Oh MY god!", I sighed, leaping into a hug. It made me feel 10 times better because I was so scared. I felt his strong arms wrap round me, keeping me safe.

"Hey, it's alright, we'll be okay", he promised. That's when I smelt a disgusting smell.

"Jeez Link, lay off the beans!", I scolded him.

"So you smelt that too, I was just about to ask", he said back.

"Whoever smelt it dealt it", I giggled.

"Whoever said the rhyme did the crime!", Link rebounded at me.

"Yeah, hate to wipe the grin that is most likely to be there off your face but…you just said a rhyme". 

He paused.

"Very clever smart ass. Now shut up, and lets find someway out of here!". He muttered. As if we'd just had to ask, torches sprang up all around. We were in a circular room lit by orange, purple and green torches. 

"Oh isn't that sweet, group hug", said a sneering voice. I buried my face in Link's chest.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!", I whimpered.

"No offence Ganondorf but this isn't exactly a group", said Link coldly, obviously recognising the voice.

"Ganondorf?", I asked in awe.

"Yes it is I", he said proudly and with a flash, he was floating in the air behind us. I spun around and flipped out my daggers.

"Very good", the bastard sneered, "But I am just an illusion". He then completely ignored me and turned to Link. 

"Give me the girl Link, then your other friends wont get hurt". Everything clicked into place there and then.

"So it was YOU who keeps sending me these things to hurt me huh!?", I said referring to the poe and the guard who randomly abducted me, and then left me to suffocate.

"Yes, so what? You have something I want".

"You sound like a spoilt little brat! I WANT DOESN'T GET!", I screeched, letting all the rage flow out easily. "WELL IF YOU WANT ME, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE PUTTING YOURSELF IN FOR!!!". I could see that Ganondorf was just about ready to kill, but he kept his voice level. 

"And that would be?".

"I thought you'd never ask!", I started, eyes glinting evilly. "Hey Ganny, you know who yaw daddy is? No? Well I'll tell you who yaw daddy was, he was a goat, he gave your momma a little bit o' this, and a little bit o' that", I said, making provocative moves around the cell (Yep, none other than the humpah move, HEE HEE!!) Ganondorf looked as if he was about to explode. Link looked shocked, and amused at the same time.

"Fine keep the little runt, but I'll be back, and I'll get exactly what I want", he said pointing at my necklace.

"You want my necklace?", I said, sickly-sweetly.

"Yes!", he said, clenching his hand into a fist, his malicious golden eyes glowing angrily.

"Well you can have it!", I said fakely.

"Really?", he said his mood lightening, for about two seconds.

"Nope!", I said. There was a roar of anger and then the room melted away in a great rushing noise and we were standing on the field.

Legolas came running towards me and swept me up into a hug. "Oh thank anything that was listening I was so worried!". I hugged him back.

"It's good to be home", I said stupidly. I heard Link telling Hillary what had happened.

"And Penny was amazing! I've never seen him get so angry, it was SO funny! She was pissing him off so much! It's all thanks to her!"

Go me uh huh go me!

~*~*~

Now it's Hillary's turn to write, take it away girl! We're off to Gerudo valleh! Uh…and please, as I always say…review or die, thanks for your wasted time!


	7. Chapter 7

Hey ladies and germs, we're back again to continue this action-packed thriller. *rolls eyes* yeah, okay, that's a LIE...I'm gunna stop babbling now and let you read.  
  
*Hillary*  
  
I just kinda stood there, watching Link talk and talk about what happened and how scary it was and how great Penny was. I stood there, kinda staring off into space, wondering when he was gunna shut his big trap and when we could start moving again.  
"...and then all of a sudden we were back here, in the daylight, safe and sound!" Link was beaming, and so was Penny. Legolas was watching and listening intently, and I thought his eyes were going to bulge out of his head. I was watching this leaf floating down off of a tree and dance in the wind, not listening or paying attention, until Link poked me. "Hillary?" Whoah, back to earth now.  
"Huh?"   
"Aren't you coming? We're going to Gerudo Valley now," he said, giving me one of "those" looks. I looked off in the distance, and I noticed Penny and Legolas halfway there, with Penny on Legolas's back, screeching like a banshee. God, I'd kill to be her.  
"Yeah, I'm coming." We started walking after them, in silence.  
"What's wrong?" Oh boy. Here it comes.  
"Nothing's wrong!" I said, as cheerily as possible.  
"Yeah, right. If nothing was wrong, you would have bitten my head off for asking you that question."  
"Liar."  
"I'm not a liar, you're the liar."  
"You lying hatface liar!!! I'm not a liar!" That shut him up. Briefly.  
"You still haven't told me what's wrong," he said, putting an arm around my shoulder. I pushed it off and glared at him. "Come on!"   
"Nothing's the matter, really. I'm just tired. I couldn't fall asleep last night, and everyone was snoring, especially you. And then I was woken up early. So, I'm cranky. Okay?"  
"Okay," he said quietly. We walked in silence until we came up to Penny and Legolas, who had stopped to wait for us. Penny was off of Legolas's shoulders and was bouncing around. So much energy, I can't understand it.  
"You're turn!" Penny screamed, jumping on my back. I laughed, grabbed on to her, and raced around the guys.  
  
*Link*  
  
I turned to Legolas, who was grinning devilishly at the two women.  
"That's kinda kinky..." I said, crossing my arms, and stroking my chin.  
"You're telling me?" Legolas asked, chuckling. I never expected him to be this outgoing, but I'm glad I had a partner in crime that thought the same way I did.   
"So how was it?" I asked.  
"How was what?"   
"Oh, you know, the kiss," I said, watching Hillary's legs collapse out from under her. Penny screeched and fell to the ground.  
"Just how one would think it would be," Legolas said, smirking.  
"Gross and slimy?" I joked.  
"Hell no! It was great!" Legolas cried, laughing as we watched Hillary race after Penny and jump on her back.  
"Mush!" she screamed. "Mush! Oatmeal! Cream of wheat!" Penny flipped her off, and Hillary went soaring through the air. She landed in a bush, and Penny went after her.  
"You get anywhere with Hillary?" Legolas asked me.  
"Huh? Oh...no. I think she's hiding something from me."  
"She's hiding something from all of us," Legolas said, cringing as Hillary and Penny slammed against the ground. They were wrestling now. I shook my head. Hillary and Penny got up, and Hillary jumped on Penny's back again. This time, they charged straight for us. Legolas and I spoke at the same time.  
"Oh shit..." Penny and Hillary slammed into us full speed, and we all tumbled to the ground in one massive heap of carnage.  
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow OW!" Legolas screamed in pain, trying to lift my elbows out of his chest.  
"Sorry, bro," I said, and lifted myself up. I gave him a hand up, and we both looked down at Hillary and Penny. They were laying with their backs against the grass, skirts pushed way up, sleeves a mess, and hair tangled. They both stared aimlessly into the sky, obviously stunned for a minute from the impact. Legolas and I both emitted low whistles.  
"Yeah baby," he said, and we both laughed.  
"I think...my neck...is broken..." Penny mumbled, not moving an inch.  
"Tisk tisk tisk," I said, pacing in circles around the girls. "Is this the way a lady should act?"  
"Hell yes," Hillary said, sitting up. She helped Penny to her feet, and then they brushed themselves off. Legolas held out his arm to Penny, and she linked her arm with his. I did the same to Hillary, but she just laughed and pushed me down. I got up and chased her through the entrance to the valley.  
  
*Legolas*  
  
Penny and I watched Link and Hillary run ahead of us. I liked having Penny at my side, it gave me a sense of comfort, and almost calmed my racing heart.  
Almost.  
"So, what were you thinking back there?" I asked, referring to the major body slam she and Hillary delivered to Link and I.   
"I don't know, really...just trying to...uh...pass the time?" Penny laughed.  
"Riiiight," I said, raising an eyebrow at her. "Not trying to land on us at all, huh?" Penny glared at me, and I stifled a laugh.  
"Yeah, right, keep dreaming," she said, looking around at the now arid landscape. It was so weird that the land changed so quickly around here. I don't understand it!!  
"I will..." I mumbled, smiling. She looked up at me and shook her head. "Now, why are we going here again?"  
"I dunno, cause I wanted to," Penny said, smiling devilishly. Just then Hillary and Link ran by...well kind of stumbled by: Link was draped over Hillary's shoulders, and she was groaning under his weight. Penny and I cracked up.  
"Jeez, that girl is strong," I said, laughing.   
"I know...but just one touch the opposite way..." Penny said evily, grinning from ear to ear, "...and Link will go BOOM!"   
"Don't do it!" I cried, gripping her waist as she leapt after them.  
"Aww come on Leggy, let me goooo!!!!" she yelled, trying to wriggle from my grasp.   
"No, young lady, you won't be doing any of the sort," I said, finally. Penny and I watched Hillary inch towards what looked like the edge of a cliff...no...she wouldn't...  
"Looks like I won't have to do anything!" Penny cried gleefully as Hillary shifted all her weight into throwing Link off the side. I watched in horror - in slow motion - as Link's figure disappeared off the side of the cliff.   
"AAAHHH!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! YOU BIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!" we all heard Link scream, his voice growing smaller and smaller as he fell. Penny and I ran to the edge where Hillary was standing, and the two were in hysterics laughing.   
"How could you do such a thing?!" I screamed at her, grasping her upper arms and shaking her violently. They only laughed harder.  
"DID YOU SEE HIS FACE?!" Penny exclaimed, falling to the ground in laughter.  
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!" I screamed again, picking Hillary up and holding her over the edge.   
"Legolas!! What's your problem?!" Hillary cried.  
"I can see up your dress!" I heard a voice from below say, in a sing-songy voice. Penny laughed so hard I thought her lungs were going to explode.

"That's the first, and the last time you will!" Hillary screamed, wiggling some more.  
"Link?!" I asked confusedly. "Link, you're alive?!"   
"Yeah, I'm alive...howabout you?" he called up to me.  
"Drop her!" Penny cried inbetween her giggles.  
"Hey Hillary, I'm gunna kill you as soon as you get down here!!" Link called up.

"Not if I kill you first!" Hillary screamed back.  
"Drop her!!!" Penny screamed again.  
"No, Legolas, don't!" Hillary pleaded. I grinned evily, and loosened my grip. Hillary plummeted to the bottom of the canyon, much to the delight of Link and Penny.  
"Good job!" I heard Penny say from behind me. I turned around to face my angel - only to feel her hands pushing me backwards, hard and fast. Soon I saw the sky, and Penny's face getting smaller and smaller. I didn't have time to scream, because I was in the water before I could realize what was happening. When I surfaced, I saw Link and Hillary struggling, mostly Link holding Hillary under the water. I couldn't help but laugh.  
"Alright, Penny, your turn!" I called up. She disappeared for a minute, then was out and over the edge, doing the most graceful dive I have ever seen. About halfway into her freefall, she flipped over and bunched up into a tight ball.  
"CANNONBAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!" she screamed as she plummeted towards us. Hillary surfaced just long enough for Penny so hit the water and cover us completely with a wave of water.  
"Nice one!" Hillary exclaimed when Penny popped her head up.  
"Thanks!" she replied. Link pushed Hillary under the water, and held her there for a minute. Penny and I laughed.  
"So where are we now?" I asked the water-logged Link.  
"In the canyon of Gerudo Valley. Nice place, huh?" I looked around at the cliff walls, and at the waterfall behind us.  
"Yeah..." I said slowly, raising an eyebrow. Link smiled boyishly, and let Hillary up for a breath of air. "Sorry yet?!" he asked aggressively.   
"Hell no!" Hillary cried, before being shoved back under. I looked over to where Penny was, only to see here retreating figure heading over to where the waterfall was. I started to swim after her. When I finally reached the waterfall, I dove behind it, and found Penny sitting on a small ledge, feet dangling in the water, soaking wet.   
"Hey there Leggy," she called, smiling. I smiled back and pushed myself up next to her.  
"Hey there beautiful," I replied pushing up against her briefly. A mist from the falls was floating all around us, and we were pretty much secluded from everything else. It was quite romantic, to say the least. I turned to Penny slowly, to give her a soft kiss, but she had other plans. As soon as our faces met, she pounced on top of me, giving me a deep, passionate kiss. Talk about dream come true.  
  
WickedOne: AAH! X-Rated scene!  
Storm-Child: It's not X-rated, they don't even have X-rated on ff.net. And our story's rated R. I think...  
WickedOne: Liar!  
Storm-Child: And you'd see that in any movie, even PG-13, probably worse.  
WickedOne: You lying hatface liar!!  
Storm-Child: *turns to the readers, shaking her head* Will she ever learn?

And as always, review or die.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay…Why am I always the horny one? That's just disgraceful!! Like my answer phone message…hee hee Okay, let's not go into that.

~*Storm*~

~*~*~

Penny

Legolas rolled me over, getting the upper hand and kissing my neck. It would have been so much better on a beach in the Caribbean but, this was good enough, privacy-wise. 

I heard Hillary and Link go crashing over the waterfall, laughing and screaming. Hillary's voice rang out. "Penny? Legs? Where are you? What are you doing?……actually I don't need to ask that, we all know, where ARE you?". 

I pulled away and pressed a finger to my lips motioning 'silence'. I giggled, as he grinned boyishly and began to kiss me again, sliding his sweet tongue between my lips. I felt a strong hand slide up around my hip, round the curve of my waist, over my ribs and towards my…

"Hey!", I laughed grabbing his hand, "Not now". I kissed him gently, then we got up and decided to re-group. We dived out of the waterfall at the same time and swam towards Link and Hillary.

"Quite finished making babies?" Link asked with a cocky grin.

"You are SO sick minded!" I scorned, "But pretty much right!".

Legolas chuckled and put his arms around me, I fluttered my eyelashes and hugged him back. Link pretended to stick a finger down his throat. 

"You're just jealous!" I giggled, and before he could retreat I grabbed him and kissed him on the cheek. I winked at Legolas then dived and swam to the entrance of the lake, where I stopped and surfaced. I looked back at my friends. Legolas was laughing at Link who had a hand to his cheek and had a shocked expression on his face. I'm glad Legolas didn't get mad at me for a petty thing like that, but I think if we kissed anyone else, the other would be devastated. Hillary was swimming towards me. She stopped and grinned.

"Slut! Slapper!" she teased. I laughed.

"I know!" I said proudly. Hill splashed me with water. I squealed and dived down under the surface, swimming the rest of the way into the lake. I surfaced just before the last little waterfall and was dragged over by the current. I crawled onto shore, collapsed and pretended to be dead. Hillary got out beside me, looked down and said, "Oh…what…a shame", before walking up and over the little bridge and towards the laboratory.

"Damn! I wanted another kiss!", Link chuckled, prodding me with his foot like I was a washed up jellyfish. I giggled as he followed Hillary.

"OH MY LOVE!", Legolas screeched heroically, leaping out of the water. Link and Hillary started laughing. 

"She needs to be taken to safety!!!", he said, slapping a hand to his forehead dramatically. I felt myself get hurled over his shoulder in a fireman's lift. He jogged over to where the others stood sniggering, and dropped me on the floor.

"She needs the kiss of life!", he announced. I pursed my lips waiting for a normal kiss but instead he actually blew into my mouth, very hard. I sat bolt upright, coughing, all of them were in fits of hysteria. 

"Fine! FINE!", I said in mock anger, marching towards the water's edge, leaving the giggles behind me. I smiled, these guys were the best friends I'd ever had, and I really didn't want anything to change that.

Link

Penny pretended to walk off in a huff but it was so easy to tell that she was kidding around. Legolas wasted no time in running off to try and get her pregnant again. My feelings towards Penny kept bending and stretching though, one minute, I felt like chucking her in the lake for a laugh, the other minute I envied Legolas, but I respected the fact that he'd won her first. But I also felt this way towards Hillary, although I felt I couldn't because…she didn't want me, because…she kept staring at Legolas. GODDESSES! How confusing! Oh well…I was having an envy Legolas day, as I watched the two kiss and touch passionately by the lake I felt a small pang of jealousy, but shook it off. These guys were my best friends in the whole of Hyrule, and some petty feelings that would not sort themselves out weren't going to ruin that. 

I sighed and looked around for Hillary, before Penny could do her usual and accuse me of being a pervert. I chuckled when I saw Hillary staring in shock-horror at the Scarecrow. I went over to her.

"Link…this scarecrow is talking to me", she whispered, backing away from it. 

"Damn right I am!", the scarecrow cried in her ear. Hillary flinched.

"You really cannot possibly understand how creepy this is", Hillary muttered, never taking her eyes off the straw person. 

"No, NO! Dear girl! I do not frighten, I DANCE!", The scarecrow yelled, thrashing around wildly. This was too much for Hillary who made a quick get away. 

"I DON'T DO TALKING SCARECROWS! BUT WHEN THEY MOVE THAT JUST TAKES THE BISCUIT!" She shouted over her shoulder at me, running towards Penny and Legolas who'd looked up to see what all the noise was about. I started laughing and took off after her.

"Hiya guys! Quite finished yet?", I asked the love struck couple. Penny grinned.

"Oh no, we only just started", she said seductively, winking at me. Legolas beamed. Lucky fu…NICE THOUGHTS LINK! She is NOT available!!! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!! I turned to Hillary, she had her eyes firmly fixed on Legolas.

"Alright babe?", I asked her.

"Fine…fine……just fine", she said simply, not averting her gaze at all.

'Oh fantastic!', I thought irritably, 'The two most beautiful, smart and funny girls in the whole of Hyrule and they both love the same guy…WHO ISN'T ME! BUT MY BEST BUDDY!!!'.

"Link are you okay?", Penny asked me suddenly.

Penny

After Link had asked Hillary how she was, his whole face had dropped and his mood had gone from cheeky to depressed and slightly jealous by what I could tell.

"Oh I'm fine", he mumbled. Hillary struck up a conversation with Legolas about Hobbits and how cute they are, so I got up and gave Link and big comforting hug. 

"Come on sweetheart, I know something is wrong". I said looking into his sky blue eyes.

"No, no, nothing…~=*Apart from the fact that I'm falling in love with both you and Hillary, but the two of you like the same guy*=~".

I leapt back, that was not normal, the last part I heard INSIDE my head… I think

"What did you just say?", I asked, completely shocked.

"I said, that nothing is wrong", Link said, Confused. Wow… I must of read his thoughts, but how? 

I felt something hot on my skin below my neck. I looked at my necklace which Ganondorf wanted. It was a lump of clear, polished, smooth crystal with a Chinese dragon carved on one side but… inside…deep in the centre of the crystal, there seemed to be a tiny green flame, how did that get there? Could that explain my sudden bout of telepathy?

I felt really sympathetic towards Link, so I decided to take things one step further with him and Hillary, 'Besides', I thought, giggling to myself inside, 'Hopefully it'll keep her away from my man!!!'. 

"Okay guys! Who wants to play Truth, dare, kiss, or Promise?". I said loudly, asking everyone.

"OOH! Me!!!", said Hillary, giggling.

"What?", said Link and Legolas simultaneously.

"The name says it all", I explained, "We sit in a circle, and the person to the left of you tells you what to do for your picked choice". I think they got, so we sat in a circle, Link to the right of me, so I was his 'Master/Mistress/whatever!' then Hillary, then Legolas, to the left of me, so he was my master.

"Okay, I'll start it, so Link, truth, dare, kiss or promise?". I asked him with a grin.

"Uh…dare?", said Link, unsurely. 

"Okay, fine", I assured him, "Uhm…Go over to the laboratory, and tell the guy that your name is Mr. Jass, first name Hugh". I said grinning wickedly. Link didn't get it, but went over and knocked on the door.

The cranky old professor opened the door, after most likely hobbling away from an experiment. "Who are you?", he asked irritably.

"Mr. Jass, my first name is Hugh", Link said politely.

"Hugh Jass?", the man said. All of us cracked up.

"HAHHAHAHA!!! HUGE ASS!! GOOD ONE!", screeched Hillary. The old man got it. 

"GO AWAY! YOU HORRID LITTLE FUCKERS!", He yelled, before slamming the door in Link's face, who was doubled up in Hysterics.

When Link had sat back down again, it was his turn to ask Hillary. "Blah blah blah or blah Hillary?", he said.

"I'll pick…Promise", said Hillary, confidently. 

"Okay, Promise that……You'll never change from who you are!", said Link.

"Okay, I promise I'll never change!", said Hillary, giggling. "Legolas, you know the choices, pick one!!!".

"Kiss!", he said within a second.

"Oh…how did I guess?", Hillary sighed, "Go on then, kiss Penny".

After we were quite finished playing tonsil tennis, Legolas asked me. 

"Uhm…I'll pick…Truth then, seeing as no one else has done it".

"Are you a virgin?", asked Legolas with a mean grin. I went blazing red with embarrassment. All eyes were on me now.

"I absolutely fucking hate you! Yes I am a virgin", I mumbled.

"WHAT?", everyone said.

"But! But! PENNY! You're….penny, you're 18! This can't be true!", said Link, eyes bulging.

"WHAT? You asked for the truth and you got it!". I giggled.

"Won't be the truth for long though", Hillary motioned to Legolas. We all cracked up again.

"Okay Link, your turn!", I said, changing the subject. 

"Oh god….ah…can I do dare again?".

"Nope", I said.

"Fine…Kiss then", he muttered, going almost as red as I had. I grinned, I'd been waiting for this. 

"Kiss Hillary!", I said happily. It was Hillary's turn to go a nice shade of beetroot.

"Okay…", Link mumbled sheepishly. He leant forward and pecked Hillary on the lips for a brief moment, then pulled away, very fast, and extremely embarrassed. Here came my big finally.

"No, no, no! When I meant, KISS, I meant the full on business!", I exclaimed.

Link, looked at Hillary and grinned shyly, they leant in, quite jerkily, until their lips met. Then there was this sudden explosion of bottled up feelings from one another and before I could think they were all over each other.

Legolas

"Wow!", I whispered to Penny. "How did you know, they were going to do THAT!?".

"Because I'm brilliant".

"That's true", I said with a smile at my angel. 

"No, I knew that they both needed each other, and once they got going it'd be a pretty good reaction". A warm, fuzzy feeling entered me, as I realised how much they HAD needed this, and I couldn't believe, that the ever energetic Penny, could be so in tune with people's emotions. I looked over to an island in the middle of the lake, connected by bridges.

"Come on, lets give us both some privacy", I said dragging her over. Once there, we stood by the tree, looking across the lake at the now united couple.

"I swear it, all they needed was an excuse", I said, happy for them. 

"I don't need an excuse", said Penny, putting her arms around my neck and looking into my eyes. I looked back into hers… What? I swear I could see a tiny green flame? But then it seemed to have gone. I blinked slowly and smiled, staring into the deep brown orbs. Then I leant forward and kissed her. I could feel her smiling, and that made me happy. 

We spent the rest of the evening watching the sun set. It was so romantic, completely a dream come true. Hillary and Link had come to join us.

"Now look who's the one making babies!", I laughed at Hillary and Link who were tongue wresting. 

"You wanna baby making competition!? You're on buddy!", Link challenged me. 

Immediately I grabbed poor Penny and started kissing her brains out. I don't know who won, I think we all just fell asleep eventually…

~*~*~

Hillary : Aaaarrgh! PORN!

Storm : Romance!

Hillary : PORN!

Storm : ROMANCE!!! By the way, what the hell is a hatface?

Hillary : Uh……..


	9. Chapter 9

HELKO REDARS AND WELCOEM BAK TOO TEH STORIE!!  
whoah...that was scary...*cough* here it is.  
  
*Hillary*   
I opened my eyes and Link's body was on top of mine. I don't know how I managed to sleep like that, cause I could barely breathe. I pushed him, but he wouldn't budge. I finally managed to move him an inch, but he moved right back into place, grabbing my arm tighter as if it was a blanket or something. I heard giggling behind me, and I strained to look who it was. Penny and Legolas were sitting up, and laughing at me.  
"Morning sunshine," Penny said cheerfully.   
"Shut the crap up," I barked over their chuckles.  
"Somebody's in a pissy mood!" Legolas said, putting an arm around Penny.  
"Somebody doesn't have a huge hunk of muscle sprawled on top of them!" I retorted. They just laughed harder. Link lifted his head and then buried his face in my neck.  
"Yeah, but you like it," Penny said, snickering some more.  
"No, I really don't," I lied.  
"Yes you do," Legolas replied.  
"Ugh. So what?" I said, again attempting to push him off. In one final burst of energy, I pushed Link off of me, and he emitted an "oof!" when he landed on the soft grass. But he was still asleep. He had one arm under my side, so he pulled me into him a bit forcefully, and curled up in the fetal position around me.   
"I give up," I said, which I'm sure came out muffled to Penny and Legolas cause my face was pressed against him. "I'm going back to sleep." And I did.  
  
*Legolas*  
Penny and I looked at eachother as Hillary fell back asleep.  
"C'mon, let's leave them alone," Penny said, getting up. We walked hand-in-hand to the edge of the island-type-thing and sat down. Funny, we had been in the same position the night before, watching the sun set.  
"It's real pretty here," I said, breaking the conversation void.  
"Yeah, isn't it?" Penny asked, leaning her head on my shoulder.  
"Have you been here before?" I asked. "Cause you seem to know the land, same with Hillary. And Link lives here, so I'm the odd man out. What's up?"  
"Uhh..." Penny said slowly, "We've been here before...sort-of. Kinda like...seen it in a dream or a vision, you could call it a vision, yeah. And we've been all over the land in...the vision...so we know our way around, Hillary and I."  
"Ohh..." I said, trying to understand what she was saying.   
"Don't worry about it. You'll get to know this land soon enough. It's not that hard," she said, sighing.  
"Okay." We didn't say much more, because we heard Link's voice behind us.  
"Come on sleepyhead!" Link said, nudging Hillary with his foot. Penny and I stood up and walked over to Link. "What, are you gunna sleep all day?!" Link exclaimed, nudging her again. Hillary moaned, and turned over. Penny and I cracked up. "Hillary, come on babe, it's time to go!" Link knelt over her and shook her until she opened her eyes. Hillary sat up and rubbed her eyes. "What, are you going to sleep all day?" Link asked her again.  
"Huh?!" she mumbled. Penny and I were in hysterics by this time...poor Hillary.  
"Get up!!!" Link shouted. Hillary stood up.  
"But...I...Penny...I...you...and...I tried...and...Legolas you saw!!...and..." she stood there like that, rambling for a bit, and all Penny and I could do was laugh.  
"Right, now, come on sweetcheeks, we're going exploring again today," Link said, pulling Hillary along behind Penny and I.  
"Where are we going huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh?!!" Penny asked, hopping up and down. I turned around to see Link's response, and Hillary was still mumbling like she was possessed or something.  
"I don't know, I figured I'd show you around Castle Town and stuff. Then maybe Goron City or something," Link said, blinking rapidly at the bouncing Penny.  
"Yayayayayayayayayayayay!!" Penny cried, hopping around some more. I can't understand her energy. I really can't. But I love her for it!!!!  
"So are we walking or what?" I asked, trying to make conversation...yet again.  
"Would you rather run?" Link retorted, smirking.  
"Well no, but I figured since you all have these tricks up your sleeves, I--"  
"I have an arm up my sleeve!" Penny announced proudly, pulling back her sleeve, exposing a tanned arm.  
"Very good Penny," Link said, snickering.   
"So what can we do in Castle Town?" Penny asked, bending over to pick up some flowers. She put one behind her ear, and one behind mine.  
"Cute Legolas," Link said, laughing. I punched him.  
"Ow. We can...uh...go bowling!" Link exclaimed, laughing.  
"Ooh! I love bowling!" Penny cried, tugging on my sleeve. Great. Bowling.  
"It's explosive bowling with chickens," Link said mysteriously, laughing like a psycho. We all stopped and stared at him. "What?!"  
"Hey, is Hillary alive?" I asked, because she hadn't said anything in over 10 minutes. Not like that wasn't common, she usually wasn't as talkative as my Penny, but this was getting ridiculous. We all turned to face her, and she was staring blankly off into space. Link poked her, and she swayed back and forth.  
"Yeah, she really is dead," Penny said, waving a hand in front of her face.  
"I got something that'll wake her," Link said devilishly. He reached over and pinched her sides. She didn't budge.  
"Good one genius," I teased, chuckling. Link shook her from her shoulders. She still didn't respond. Link slowly reached up and moved his hands over her breasts. Just before he made contact, she punched him across the face.  
"What the hell are you doing?!" she snapped. Link grabbed his face, and Penny and I broke out into hysterics.  
"Ow!" Link cried, rubbing his jaw.   
"That woke her up," Penny said, smirking.   
"You deserved that," Hillary mumbled at Link. He reached over and pinched her rear.  
"Ow!" she screamed, slapping his hand away. He snickered evily, and the two chased after eachother ahead of us. I sighed, shaking my head.  
"Those two have issues," Penny said slowly, reaching over and grabbing my hand. We walked along a path until we came to a fence. There was a random ladder to get over, so we climbed it, and were back in that large field...this place was starting to make sense to me...sort-of. I gave Penny a piggyback over to where Link and Hillary were making out, leaning against a stone wall.  
"They have serious issues," I said, agreeing with Penny's statement before.  
"Mmm," she said, ripping Link off of Hillary. "Time to go, remember?!" she shouted at him.   
"Gah!!" he exclaimed, opening his eyes.   
"Come on," I said, patting him on the back. Hillary and Penny were walking ahead of us, and we followed. We all walked across the drawbridge and into Castle town. Penny made an effort to flirt with the guard, and of course, he flirted back. We wandered in, and looked around the buzzing center. There were mobs of people here and there; the place was buzzing with life.  
"Hey hey hey! Want to buy somethin'? Huh huh huh?!" There was a grungy looking guy in front of us in a trenchcoat.  
"Eww," Penny said, turning away.  
"What do you got?" I asked, interested in the mysterious guy.  
"Watches!" he said, opening his trenchcoat.  
"Uh...no thanks," I said, walking over to the other three.  
"Come on! Two for one rupee!" he exclaimed. Boy, that guy was desperate. A little man in a guard's uniform walked up to Link and tugged on his sleeve.  
"Yes?" Link asked, looking down at him.  
"Message from the Princess, sir Link," the guy said. Penny and I cracked up.   
"Sir Link! That's great!" Penny exclaimed, holding her gut.  
"Anyways, here it is, from Princess Zelda," the dude said, handing Link a rolled-up scroll. Then he disappeared as fast as he appeared. We all formed a circle around Link as he opened it.  
"My dearest Link," Link read, "I formally invite you to my eighteenth birthday dinner celebration. There will be music and dancing, so feel free to bring a date or some of your many friends. No gifts are expected, just the gift of your presence," he said, then stopped. Hillary made a gagging noise, and we all laughed. Link continued. "I hope to see you there tonight, and be sure to save me a dance. You and all of your guests are welcome to stay the night. The festivities start at 6:00 sharp. Thank you so much, and please know that I'll always love you. Sincerely, Zelda, Princess of Hyrule."   
"And please know that I'll always love you," Penny said in a nasaly voice, laughing.  
"Well Link, let's go!" I cried. Hillary had flames in her usually cool blue eyes.  
"Love him huh?! I'll show her who really loves him..." Hillary mumbled bitterly, clenching her fists, watching Link browse the open-air market. He picked out a necklace and a velvet bag, and paid for them. We wandered over to him.  
"I thought she said you didn't need to bring a gift," Penny said confusedly.  
"That's just her way of acting like she's not selfish. Everyone knows it's a scam, and that they'll get thrown out if they don't buy her something," Link explained.  
"Sounds typical to me," I said.

*Hillary*  
"Yeah, well, why are we sitting here?! Let's go!" Penny exclaimed, rushing off to the entrance of the castle grounds. Legolas followed right after her, and I turned to Link. He had some major 'splainin to do, Lucy!!!  
"So Link, Zelda's in love with you?" I asked coldly. He turned a few different colors before responding.  
"Uh...yeah, she has been, since forever," he stuttered.  
"Yeah, mhm, so, do you love her back? Are you two a thing?"  
"No! No, not at all!" he replied, extremely hastily. "Never. She likes me, and I don't like her. I mean...I like her, but...not in _that_ way..." I looked at him like he had three heads. "I swear!"  
"Yeah, uh-huh," I said, smirking. "So, we're staying the night? And are we going to this extravaganza wearing these clothes?" I asked, looking down at my plain black and red dress.  
"No, they'll have clothes for us there, in the rooms. They're quite nice, actually," he said as we turned to corner to face the castle gate. Penny and Legolas were stopped in front of the gate, and the guards wouldn't let them through. I had to laugh.  
"Please mister!" Penny pleaded, batting her eyelashes.  
"It's alright, they're with me," Link said, whipping out his invitation.  
"Oh, I'm sorry sir, come right in," he said, giving the signal to open the gate.  
"What service!" Penny exclaimed as we strolled in. Once we got into the Castle, Princess Zelda greeted us with open arms. She was so cheesy and fake, but the guys seemed to like her...damn her with her perfect figure and long blonde hair!! Damn her to heck!!!! She shook each of our hands, and Link and Legolas kissed her ring-covered fingers.  
"Penny, it's such a delight to meet you," Zelda said as Penny introduced herself.  
"Yeah...really," Penny said sarcastically, faking a smile.  
"And you too, uh..." she said, holding out her hand to me.  
"Hillary," I said, shaking it briefly. I glared into her clear blue eyes, and I could tell she was about as pleased to meet me as I was to meet her. *hack* She and Link linked (teehee) arms, and Legolas and Penny linked arms, leaving me to link arms with myself. Damn her...  
"This place is amazing!" Penny said, admiring all of the decorations. The castle was adorned in purple...the color of royalty.  
"Thank you," Zelda said politely. "Now I hope you all will enjoy your rooms, I'm sure you'll find them quite comfortable," she said as she took us up a grand set of stairs. She led us down a few passageways, and finally to where our rooms would be. "I don't know how you're going to break up to sleep for the night," she said, eyeing us all carefully, "but there are beds made for two in each of the rooms. So, maybe, boys on one side and girls on the other?" she suggested. We all chuckled.   
"We're gunna sleep together," Penny said of herself and Legolas.  
"Yeah," Link said, letting go of Zelda's arm and walking over to me. "We're gunna sleep together too," he said, putting an arm around me. Yeah, bitch, he's mine, you keep dreamin'.  
"Fine by me," she said, giving me the glare of doom. "Here are the keys," she said, handing a key to Penny and a key to Link. "Dinner starts in 2 hours, so try to be on time!" she said cheerily, walking back the way she came. Link and Legolas watched her walk all the way until she turned a corner. Penny and I smacked them at the same time.  
"Come on," she said, unlocking her door. Link unlocked our door and we all stepped inside. These rooms were great! Our room was adorned in blue, and Penny and Legolas's room was adorned in green. There were two bathrooms, separated by those folding screens, you know the kind, the ones you can see shadows and outlines through, not too good since there were tubs on the opposite sides of the screens.  
"This is great!" Penny exclaimed, running into our room.  
"Yeah it is!" I exclaimed, jumping on the bed with her. The two guys walked in, watched us, and shook their heads in disbelief at the same time.  
"WE GET THE BATHROOM FIRST!" Penny and I screamed, jumping through the air off the bed. We ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut before the guys could follow. Penny slammed the door to her room, too.  
"Okay, this should be interesting," I said, walking over to my side of the bathroom and pulling the screens closed.  
"Yeah, really," Penny said, turning on her faucet. I did the same, and soon we were sitting in hot bubble baths. Link and Legolas were banging on the door.  
"Let us in, damnit!" Link exclaimed, trying the doorlatch.  
"Yeah! We can help!" Legolas added, slamming it again.  
"NO!" Penny and I screamed at the same time. I finished before Penny, and wrapped a towel around me before walking back into my room. I heard Penny do the same just as soon as I closed the door. I heard a low whistle as soon as I stepped back into the room.  
"Shut up Link," I said as I shoved him into the empty bathroom. I picked out a midnight blue dress with a tight bodice and a low cut front. I put my hair up in a bun with little tendrils falling around my face and neck. I'm no good when it comes to getting dressed up, really...  
  
*Legolas*   
When I came out of the bathroom, my eyes fell upon Penny. She was wearing a lilac dress that exposed all of her shoulders and had lacing up the back. The skirt flowed when she walked...she was so beautiful, I couldn't believe it. She also had her brown hair twisted up with small flowers adorning it. I think I dropped what I was holding.  
"Like it?" she asked, smiling. All I could do was nod.  
"Legolas you can't wear black because I am!!!" Link exclaimed from the other room.  
"I...I...uh...I..." I mumbled, blinking rapidly.  
"I picked you out a dark green tunic. It'll match perfectly with my dress," Penny said, gliding over to the bed where she laid my clothes out. Sure, anything for her.  
  
WickedOne: DAMN ZELDA!!  
Storm-Child: She wasn't even in this scene...  
WickedOne: So what?! And I have NO clue what hatface means. It's just fun to say.   
Storm-Child: You have problems...


	10. Chapter 10

*Sings* I'm in love! I'm in love!!! But it's all messed up and I hate my hormones! Someone, shoot me now! *Stops singing* I really wish I was in Hyrule, then I wouldn't have all these problems!!!

~*Storm*~

~*~*~

Penny

"Come ON Legolas!", I called from outside the room.

"I'm coming!", he called back, "You're the one who took all the time in the bathroom!".

"That is no excuse!", I yelled, looking down the corridor at Hillary and Link who were waiting for us, hand in hand grinning devilishly. I rolled my eyes and grinned and legolas came rushing out of the door.

"Okay! Okay! I'm ready now!", he said, breathing heavily. I linked my arm through his and we all went down a corridor. Link seemed to know the way so we followed him and Hillary. 

We turned and went down a really huge marble stair case with a plush purple carpet running down the middle.

We all walked through a huge marble archway and into the massive dining room. It was beautiful, tapestries and purple banners everywhere. The table was narrow enough to talk over but so long I felt I could of roller bladed across it and still not reached the end after hours of trying…whatever I'm rambling be good for jackass though (A/N JACKASS RULES!!!).

People were milling around finding their seats, and the servants were scooting in and out between chairs, putting down huge silver platters, pouring drinks for seated Lords and ladies, and showing some of the unseated ones to their seats. 

A servant approached us, she was young with shocking blue hair. I leaned towards Link. "Is that color natural?", I asked.

"Yeah, I don't know what you have in your world but we have a huge array of natural colors. The only one we hardly ever have is brown on women, it's seriously rare, that's probably why you'll get a lot of strange looks", he said back. I thought hard, trying to remember from the Nintendo game who did have brown hair. Cucco Lady was all I could think of, and even then, she had a slightly reddish tint to it. "Coooool!", I said to Hillary, "I'm rare!". She giggled.

"Penny, you moron!".

"Fine! I'll try someone else who is nicer!", I said with a grin, turning to Legolas. "Guess what honey! I'm rare!", I said proudly. He laughed.

"Of course, you're one of a kind", he smiled at me.

"Ya hear that Hill! I'm special!", I announced with a smug look. Hillary rolled her eyes, then suddenly jerked with a small yelp as Link grabbed her hand and strode off after the blue haired girl. Me and Legolas followed. We were seated in couples at opposite sides of the table. I was facing Link and Legolas was facing Hillary and Vice versa. Unfortunately we were near the head of the table and me and Link were right next to Zelda. She hadn't sat down yet but Link was making rude remarks and gagging noises while pointing to her seat so I got the point. 

I sighed and looked down the table. 'Let's see', I thought to myself, 'one, two, three, four, five….'. I carried on counting solidly for the next thirty seconds.

"Forty seven", I said quietly. Link looked at me.

"Huh?", he said, frowning.

"There is a total of forty seven different expressions on the faces of people staring at my hair", I said to him. He looked down the table.

"Goddesses Penz, like, everyone is staring at you…".

"She could of dyed it Hilda!", I heard a voice say with exasperation. I listened in.

"No Harold! Look at her eyebrows! You don't dye your eyebrows! And no roots are showing! Oh Harold, why can't I have hair like that!?".

'In my world, everyone wants to be blonde, here they want to be brown……cunning', I thought to myself with a grin. I flicked my hair to show off. Hillary was giggling, "I cannot believe this!", she cried, "In our world everyone wants to be blonde!".

"Really?", said Link and Legolas in unison, grinning. 

Suddenly, Zelda waltzed up to her place at the table, and gracefully banged a spoon on her glass to get everyone's attention.    

"Thank you, thank you all for coming to this special dinner in honor of my 18th Birthday party it has been a fantastic life, although riddled with difficulties. Especially that of going into hiding from the evil king Ganondorf…".

'Hello, this is Penny reporting live from Hyrule castle. We interrupt Zelda's speech because it is too fucking boring. We will now bring on our animal psychologist to see what we can find interesting about anything in this room'. My thoughts carried on in a posh English, nature programme guy voice, 'As we listen to the birthday girl of the pack, we look around intently at the rest of the group gathered here. We see the male opposite the camera, digging for gold up his nasal passage. Again we see another, female of this fascinating species, next to the camera, looking intently with disgust at the male who is digging for gold. She has just hit him. This could turn out big. The Dominant Female who has been talking for the past couple of minutes about herself has just finished rambling, Tune in later to see if anything happens between gold digger, and his mate…'.

"…So it is with great honor, that I pronounce the feast, started!", Zelda FINALLY finished.

"Grub's up!", I said to Link who was sitting opposite me. I picked up my spoon and begun to lap up the soup from the bowl which had just been put in front of me. 

"So…excuse me, I have forgotten your name", said Zelda to me.

"Oh It's Penny your majesty", I said with a really over-exaggerated grin. 

"Oh! What an unusual name! It's rather nice, where does it originate from?".

I had to think quick, oh crud… "I believe it was of…uh, Gerudo origin, but then uh…higher classes begun to use it".

"Why yes of course!".

'Heh…sucker!', I thought to myself evilly. 

"And what is yours", said Zelda flatly at Hillary, hardly even looking at her. "Hillary your highness", Hillary mumbled, she looked like she was about to explode.

"Oh…heard it before", said Zelda, extremely nastily. "And yours?", Zelda turned to Legolas, a seductive glint in her eyes. My eyes whisked straight to my knife, man I was murderous today!

"Uh…Legolas", legs said, shyly.

"That's a nice name", said Zelda sweetly, batting her eyelashes. This has GOT to stop! My eyes fell on a medium sized spider on the table next to my plate. I gently pushed it into my hand and a plan sprung up in my mind.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt Zelda, but there is a spider in your hair…", I grinned.

Link

Zelda's eyes shot to their widest I'd ever seen them and she leapt up squealing and slapping at her hair. 

"Hold still and let me get it for you", I heard Penny say over the screams. Penny got up and started rooting through Zelda's blonde hair. It's funny to think I hadn't noticed anything black that crawled before Penny got up but there the spider was. It crawled over onto Zelda's forehead and past her eye. Here came the worst bit…Zelda saw it. 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!! SPIDER!!!", she screeched, clawing at her face. Hillary was practically on the floor she was laughing too hard. By now many people were getting up trying to get the spider away. Penny was having a whale of a time ordering people about. 

"It's on her neck! It's down her dress!", at this many young men leapt out of their seats to help.

"GET IT OFFFFFFFFFFF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!", yelled Zelda at the top of her voice.

"Oh for crying out loud!", said Impa sternly, marching over. Everyone backed off as she went straight in and easily picked out the offending arachnid. Zelda staggered over to her chair and Penny knelt down beside her. 

"Are you okay princess? That was terrible, do you want me to ask for a glass of water?". I knew Penny was completely taking the piss, but the word piss wasn't even in Zelda's vocabulary so she thought Penny was just being a nice polite young girl. 

"No, no thank you for your help Penny, I'll be alright".

Penny sat down again, and found that her main course was winking her in the face. "Oh…fine!", she said, picking up her knife and fork. 

I looked over at Hillary and noticed she was eating in the informal 'peasant', way as Zelda liked to call it… bitch. 

"Psst, Hill", Penny whispered, she'd obviously noticed as well. "Turn your fork over and put it in your left hand! They're eating in the English way!!!".

Hillary hastily copied us as she knew Zelda would probably use it as an excuse to shame her. I hated it when Zelda did this, to all my girlfriends…although I hadn't dated properly before…forget it!

We finished the main course, and we talked for a bit before dessert came. There wasn't really much to say because no one said anything interesting…but…finally dessert came, vanilla ice cream, laced with strawberries and sugar. 

Penny's was gone within about two seconds flat. "That was absolutely spiffing!", she joked.

"Jolly good!", Zelda said back. Penny looked like she was about to piss herself she was trying so hard not to laugh. 

I hadn't noticed the music before playing softly from the musicians in the corner, but suddenly they struck up quite loudly with a waltz. Within about three seconds, Zelda was next to me, "Link, may I have this dance?".

As much as I wanted to, you NEVER say no to Zelda and Live to get away with it. "Sure Zelda", I smiled weakly and got up onto the dance floor. This was so embarrassing, the first dance, and all eyes are on you. I ain't kissing her at the end! NO FUCKING WAY!!! Hillary would KILL me!

Legolas 

I had to stifle a laugh as Link slowly made his way round the dance floor with Zelda. He was bright red from embarrassment and kept making "Help me", faces at Hillary who just shook her head with an amused smile on her lips. Finally the dance ended, Zelda pouted her lips, looking ready for a kiss. Link hesitated, kissed her on the cheek, very quickly like she was about to burn him, and then hurriedly asked Hillary to dance. I noticed by now that a lot of couples were getting up for a dance. And I couldn't fail to notice the group of young men who were making for Penny. 

"Penny, do you want to dance". I asked her.

"Well I'm a bit…".

"Just do it okay!? There's a group of…ugly men making for you".

"WHAT?", she yelled, leaping up. I grabbed her hand and lead her on to the dance floor, and copied whatever dance everyone else was doing. I saw the group of young men waiting at the edge of the dance floor like vultures.

"The brown haired one is mine!", announced the tallest one. He looked highly suspicious, he had ginger hair, one bright violet eye, the other was glazed over and pale blue with a scar running through it. (A/N recognise him Hill? Hee hee! My favourite villain!!!) 

"I want the red head", said another, slightly shorter one with blood red hair.

"Is that the bunch of guys?", Penny whispered in my ear.

"Yeah, that's them", I answered back.  

"They look like a bunch of pirates!", Penny giggled. "I thought you said they were ugly!".

"They are!", I retorted, I didn't think much of them at all. 

"Well come on, they're not going to leave us alone until I dance with Mr. bossy boots in the middle are they? Just let him ask me, then I'll come back to you, coz they really are just popping up everywhere I look!".

"Y-you….you won't kiss him will you?", I asked somewhat stupidly.

"Hell NO!", Penny cried. The dance ended, so I kissed her gently, and she went off to get a drink. I was about to walk off the dance floor when the blond princess girl came up to me. 

"Would you care to dance?", she asked sweetly.

"Err……ok?", I stammered, she dragged me rather forcefully into a grip and we begun to dance.

I watched over her shoulder as Penny was approached by the young man, and asked to dance. She accepted without a smile or anything really, and moved onto the dance floor with him. 

I looked around and saw Hillary dancing with the blood red-haired man and Link was talking to Impa, holding a glass of something alcoholic no doubt. 

I could feel the dance coming to and end as the music slowed down. As it ended Zelda stepped slightly away from me.

"You're a very good dancer you know, thank you very much", she said seductively. I blinked and stared, there was something very strange about her eyes, they'd gone a funny purple color…wow….pretty……what's happening…. I feel……so…..so drowsy……Then I blacked out…but I didn't feel myself hit the floor, what was happening? Something that would ruin the whole evening, that's what was happening, but I had no control over it, and no idea what was going on…

Penny

So I was dancing with this dude called Lethys (A/N If you didn't get it in the description Hills, I'm bloody sure you'll get it now!) He seemed a nice enough guy, if not a little bit pirate looking. He kept asking me all this stuff about my necklace, and I was getting thoroughly annoyed about it. The dance ended and I started walking away from him, after saying thank you of course. I picked up a glass of punch and looked around for my friends. Hillary was walking over to and so was Link, but where the hell was…

My eyes fell on him, and I felt my heart shatter. He was standing with Zelda, KISSING HER! TONGUES AND ALL! And what's more he looked like he was enjoying it. My mouth fell open in shock and I heard the glass smash to the floor. I didn't care about al the people who turned to see what had happened. My eyes stung with tears, and within seconds I found myself running out of the hall, a river of tears streaming down my face. I ran up the purple carpeted staircase two at a time, and tripped near the top, but I didn't care, and ran along the corridor, bashing into the walls, and sobbing so much I couldn't run. I heard footsteps behind me and a strong hand grabbed my shoulder firmly but gently. Link held me against the wall and looked into my eyes.

"Penny! STOP! What the hell is wrong with you!!??". He asked sternly. 

"Legolas……..with….Zelda……", I managed to get out, but it hurt so much I couldn't talk.

"What..??? What were they doing?". He asked me, a look of great concern spreading across his face, as he begun to see how much emotional pain I was in. 

"…….k-k-…….kissing…….", I managed before bursting into a wave of fresh tears, racking sobs echoed down the corridor, and I buried my face in Link's chest as he drew me into a warm, comforting hug. 

"I can't believe he'd do such a thing…it must be one of her spiteful tricks Penny, don't be upset".

I just carried on crying, and Link knew there was nothing he could say to stop me. More footsteps were heard as Hillary and Legolas came thundering up the stairs. At the site of Legolas I felt like my heart and soul had been ripped out and dashed on a rock. I hid my face in Link's chest.

"What happened?", said Legolas. I can't believe he said that!

"You of all people should know!", Link snapped angrily. 

"Legolas, we all saw you, don't lie about it", said Hillary, more calmly, but still with flames in her voice.

Link dragged me away to my room, leaving Hillary to tell Legolas what he'd done.

Legolas

"I WHAT???", I roared, as Hillary told me what she'd seen.

"Yes, and then before I knew it Penny was sprinting out of the hall in floods of tears".

I leant against the wall shaking my head in utter disbelief. 

"But I promise, I'd never do that…".

"Then why did you do it!", said Hillary sounding exasperated.

"I don't know, It was like, one moment I was dancing with her, her eyes went purple, I blacked out and then, there was you, dragging me out of the hall telling me that Penny was crying…".

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Rewind! Her eyes did what?".   

"Went all purple and swirly…".

"Hmm…sounds like the bitch hypnotised you. Don't worry legs, Penny is a really forgiving person, and you'll be back together in no time, it's just she has to get over the shock". Hillary comforted me, but I still felt awful. It hurt so much inside, to know I was the cause of her pain. The only girl I've ever truly loved and I blew it. 

Hillary went up the corridor and into mine and Penny's room where it sounded like link was talking to her. 

'I can't believe the bitch did that, I never should of said yes…', I thought to myself in vain. 

Link came out, he looked like a thundercloud. "Tell me what happened", he said flatly and angrily. I told him what I'd told Hillary. Link's face softened.

"Bitch…", he muttered. "That's all she ever does, she always tries to hurt my friends so she can have me to herself". He looked around and sighed. "Go in and talk to Penny, she'll be fine by the morning, so don't worry about it".

I thanked Link for his help and went on into my room. I saw Penny out on the balcony and hesitated, before deciding to join her.

Penny

I was standing on the balcony when I heard Legolas come in. I felt slightly sorry for him, I didn't want to appear this upset, everyone gets carried away at dances, it was probably just a spur of the moment thing… but there was something about it which really hurt me bad, right there where my heart was felt empty and used. He came and stood next to me.

"Penny…? I'm….I'm really, really sorry about what happened, it wasn't meant to….I just…. I couldn't…..".

"Legolas…", I said sadly, turning around and shaking my head slowly, "Please, just…let me sleep on it ok?". I turned away again, and immediately felt awful. I know that had just hurt him…a lot. 

I stayed out on the balcony for a long time just thinking it all over and about what Hillary had told me…

Legolas had been in bed with the lights turned out for about fifteen minutes when I decided to settle down and go to sleep. I changed into a nightdress provided by the castle and slipped between the sheets. Just as my head hit the pillow I drifted off to sleep.

#~#~# I was by a waterfall looking out into the pool it fell into, but there was no noise from the waterfall, just the gentle lapping of the water. Everything had a slightly green tinge to it, including the steamy mist that floated around everywhere. 

A figure moved towards me through the mist. I was scared for a moment, but then emerged a beautiful unicorn ridden by a woman, she had pale green skin, deep evergreen hair and eyes of green flame. 

I immediately recognised her as Farore. "You are the girl with my necklace", she said with a kindly smile. "Well, it has my power inside it, but it is really that of my sister, Din".

I was puzzled, but then I thought of the green flame that had mysteriously appeared inside my necklace. I noticed that the longer I'd stayed in Hyrule, the more power it was gathering.

"That's right child. Don't be afraid of it, but the power is slowly seeping into the wearer…you…You may of noticed a couple of strange powers since the green flame appeared..telepathy being one of them".

"Yes", I said, speaking for the first time. "Yes I have, but excuse me for asking, but it has your power, but you say it is not your necklace…???".

"Ahh yes, well the symbol is wrong, that is why the magic is growing very slowly inside it. But not to worry, the symbol will soon change from the Dragon of Din to the Unicorn of Farore. Please be careful with it Penny, Ganondorf has the two other necklaces, which are also jumbled around. Din's power is growing inside Nayru's phoenix and Nayru's power is growing inside my unicorn, but you see we did this to slow down the power gathering process so Ganondorf would hopefully be stopped before it could gather completely, and allow him total freedom from his prison… and perhaps access to the triforce again".

"Why do I need to know this?", I asked the goddess. She smiled. 

"You are now the protector of this necklace. I will let you depart back to your world now, but before you go, please listen to me. Your love, Legolas, it is not his fault, the whole thing was a set up by Ganondorf's special powers of Heart break so hopefully you would kill yourself in your grief leading to the easy access of the necklace. Thank my sisters, you have a strong heart, and would not be so foolish as to commit suicide. Please forgive Legolas".

"I will", as I said this, a green light surrounded me, and I felt myself being dragged back into the world of the conscious again.

"Oh and Penny… don't trust Lethys…", those were the last words I heard, in this heart mending dream.#~#~#

I awoke with a start and sat bolt upright in bed. Legolas sat up too.

"Gods, are you okay?", he asked.

"NO!", I wailed, embracing him tightly, "I've been so nasty and so foolish, can you ever forgive me??".

"Of course I can", he smiled, kissing me lightly on the forehead.

"Oh gosh, how can I ever repay you?". I said. Legolas said nothing, but I felt a hand slide up my thigh. I looked into his eyes, before kissing him passionately, straddling his body, and letting him work his magic…

~*~*~

WickedOne: I'm….shocked…..you….you…

Storm-child: Isn't it so sweet? So romantic?

WickedOne: Cool! SEX!!!

Storm-child: Trust you to put it so bluntly!!!

As always, review or suffer eternal burning pain in the hands of myself and my colleague…


	11. Chapter 11

Hey y'all! *sings* Penny and Legolas, sittin' in a...bed....M-A-K-I-N-G-B-A-B-I-E-S...damnit all! lol here's chapter 11.

*Hillary*

Link and I walked into our room and closed the door. I sat down on the bed and he stood there for a bit, obviously getting lost in thought. It was quiet for a while, a rather uncomfortable silence, but I knew that neither of us would know how to break it. Finally I spoke up.

"Bitch."

"What?!" he asked, getting all defensive.

"Not you, Zelda," I said, smirking a bit.

"Oh. Yeah, I agree," he said, taking off his boots.

"I can't believe she would do something like that. Poor Legolas," I said, sighing.

"Poor Legolas?! You mean poor Penny!" he exclaimed, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Yeah, poor Penny. I hope this doesn't ruin their relationship. If it does, I'm going to kick the shit out of Zelda." Link laughed.

"I don't think any of us will stop you," he said, taking off his shirt. Although we were discussing a rather depressing matter, I was beginning to enjoy the view. I think I was drooling or something, cause he started laughing at me.

"What?!" I shouted. 

"Oh, nothing," he said, stretching, and flexing his muscles. I think I blushed a nice lobster red. "The beach is THATAWAY!" he said, flexing his arm muscles while pointing to the left. I chucked my shoe at him. "Hey!" he exclaimed, ducking and just barely missing the flying projectile.

"Stop being dumb!" I exclaimed, heaving the other shoe at him. Link laughed again.

"You can't resist me!" he said, grinning, and flexing again. I growled at him and he hurried off to the bathroom. "I'm going to brush my teeth!" he called.

"Good, cause you stink!" I shouted back. While he was in there, I let my hair down and attempted to comb through it. It was so tangled that the brush got stuck in it. I was fussing with it when he stepped out.

"It's all yours," he said, referring to the now empty bathroom. I stood up, the brush still stuck in my hair, and walked calmly into the bathroom. Link laughed at me as soon as he saw it. I just walked in and brushed my teeth, then came back out. Link was sitting on the bed, still laughing. I walked over to the dresser and grabbed a nightgown. Then I unzipped my dress and it fell to the ground. That shut him up. The look on his face was priceless.

"What?" I asked, as innocently as possible, pulling the nightgown over my head.

"I...just...yum...I MEAN UM! I SAID UM!!" 

"Suuuuure you did," I said, smirking, reaching up to grab the brush out of my hair. It was stuck, so I started to yank. I sat down next to Link, and he scowled.

"Go easy! Don't rip your hair out!" he exclaimed. "Let me do it," he said. I turned to him, and he gently pulled the brush out. Then he started to comb through it, giving me goosebumps. He did it way better than I would ever have done, which is scary, cause he's a guy. When he finished, he gave me a hug, and tucked me into bed. I think he wanted a little something, but didn't get any, because by the time he shut the lights off, I was asleep.

*Link*

"Damnit all," I mumbled as I heard Hillary snore. No point trying to wake her up, it's like trying to wake the dead. So I just closed my eyes and waited for sleep to find me.

I opened my eyes to darkness. There were sounds coming from the next room, ohh boy I didn't need to hear that! Penny just moaned as loud a humanly possible...then there was silence for a bit. Then I started to hear Legolas's voice. He was groaning and...aww DAMNIT I DIDN'T NEED TO HEAR THAT EITHER!! I slammed my pillow over my head, trying to block out the noises. Hillary's snoring had stopped, and I heard her giggle.

"That's something you don't hear everyday," she said, referring to Legolas's yelps.

"I think I'm gunna hurl," I said, chuckling.

"Shut up, it's probably turning you on," she sassed, laughing.

"No it's not!" I exclaimed, taking a swing at her in the dark.

"Liar," she said. I could tell she was smiling.

"Wanna try and out-scream them?" I cooed seductively.

"Uh..." she said. "I don't know...I..." she hesitated. I rolled over on top of her and started kissing her. She felt a bit tense, but soon began to relax. After I began to feel her up, she broke the kiss and grabbed my hands.

"Link, this isn't very romantic," she said, cringing at the screams coming from next door.

"Yeah, you're right," I said, sighing. I got off her and she cuddled up against me. Then we simultaneuosly grabbed our pillows and covered our ears. Laughing, we eventually fell asleep.

*Legolas*

When I opened my eyes, the room was really bright. I turned over, and saw Penny. I smiled as images from last night floated back into my mind. I kissed her gently, she was so beautiful, and then got up and got dressed. I walked into Link and Hillary's room, and suprisingly, they wern't there. I looked at a clock, and saw that it was 11:03. Crikey, no wonder everyone's up but me and Penny! I guess not everyone was as lucky as I was...heh heh heh. When I walked back into my room, Penny was sitting up in bed, staring blankly at me.

"Hey, love," she said, smiling. I grinned at her. 

"Morning sunshine," I replied, walking over to her. I picked her up, along with the sheets that covered her, and carried her over to the bathroom. I gently placed her down, and handed her her green dress. She smiled a thanks, and shut the door. 

"Are Hillary and Link up yet?" she called through the door.

"Yes, but I'm not exactly sure where they are," I replied, leaning against the wall.

"Prolly eating already...those two are always hungry," Penny said, and opened the door. I laughed.

"You're probably right," I said, taking her hand.

"I'm always right," Penny scoffed, before bursting into a fit of giggles. We walked out of the room and down the stairs. We had to ask a guard where Hillary and Link were, because the castle was too damn big to go look for them by ourselves. 

"They're in the kitchen, right?" Penny asked, smirking a bit.

"No, actually," the guard said, "they went to the courtyard, I believe."

"Thank you," I said, and walked in the direction he pointed us to. "Somebody was wrong," I teased in a sing-songy voice.

"Shut up!" Penny growled, and play-smacked me. We walked outside and had to squint our eyes because of the bright sunlight. It was quite a change from the dreary dimness of the castle.

"Well look who decided to get up!" I heard a familiar voice say. We looked behind us, and Link and Hillary were sitting by a fountain. Link had an apple in his hand, and was eating it.

"What was that you were saying about me being wrong?" Penny asked, smiling triumphantly. 

"Yeah yeah," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"You guys are up early!" Penny exclaimed, walking over to the couple.

"Early?" Link asked. "It's almost 11:30!" 

"Yeah," Hillary added, "we were able to get up, although a certain two people couldn't keep their damn pants on and were up half the night screaming and keeping two other people awake, but those first two people will remain nameless," Hillary said. I couldn't help but laugh, that girl always had a way with words.

"Hey, I'm not a screamer!" Penny yelled.

"Riiiiiiiiiight," Link said, taking another bite of his apple.

"And Mr. Elf over there," Hillary said, "he was as loud as the other one!" I blushed, and then made eye contact with Penny. We both started laughing, extremely hard, and were soon on the floor, unable to control it. Hillary and Link walked over and stood over us, shaking their heads.

"I don't see whats so funny," Link said, staring down at us.

"Yeah, we were deprived of precious sleep!" Hillary cried. When Penny and I finally pulled ourselves together and got up, Link and Hillary were already on the other side of the courtyard, walking away.

"Come on!" Penny said, racing towards them. I followed, and jumped on Link when I reached him.

"Hey now!" he exclaimed. "What the hell got you so happy?" I jumped off of him and turned to him.

"You know why." He looked at me, then nodded.

"So how was it?" he asked, watching as Penny and Hillary were walking quickly away from us.

"Why the hell should I tell you?!" I barked, crossing my arms.

"Oh, I don't know, cause I'm your friend, maybe?!" 

"Well, all I can say is, that it was fantastic. Hey, did you get anywhere with Hill?" I said, quickly changing the subject.

"Well, naw. We were going to try to out-scream you guys, but Hillary said it wasn't really romantic cause of you guys, and I guess that's important, so I didn't pressure her or anything."

"That's very...um...noble of you, Link," I said, smirking.

"What?!" he asked. "What's that grin for?!"

"Oh, nothing," I replied. "Just that I got some before you did," I teased. 

"So what? If the girl's not ready, I'm not going to push her," Link said defensively.

"I dare you to go grab her chest," I suddenly said. I have no idea where all this is coming from! For some reason, I feel different today...man, it's weird!

"That's assault, brother!" Link said, pushing me. He started chuckling.

"What?" 

"Nothing, really, it's just that I've never seen you like this before. Usually I'm the one that's more outgoing. I can't imagine what Penny must've done to you last night," Link said, laughing some more.

"I know! I've got the same feeling!" I said, glad to know that I wasn't the only one noticing it.

"I wonder what they're talking about," Link said, eyeing the two girls up ahead of us.

"Me too," I replied.

*Hillary*

"Spill it!" I cried giddily to Penny. 

"No...I don't wanna..." Penny replied.

"Aww c'mon," I pleaded.

"Alright, you talked me into it," Penny said, laughing. "Oh my God, it was incredible...he's pretty good for an old dude!" I cracked up.

"How old is he, really? 2,500?" I asked, thinking back to the Lord Of The Rings movie and how elves live forever.

"You wouldn't know, at all," Penny said, shaking her head.

"You guys were pretty damn loud last night," I said. 

"Yeah, and I don't think they have insulated or sound-proof walls in these castles," Penny said, giggling. I turned around and looked ot our guys. Link winked at me, and I just rolled my eyes at him.

"They're talking about us," I said, turning to Penny.

"No doubt," she added. "But, who could blame them?" she asked sarcastically. I smiled.

"So where we off to today?" I asked. Link and Legolas approached us, grinning like idiots.

"I dunno, where do you guys want to go?" Link asked.

"TO SEE THE ZORAS!!" Penny exclaimed, jumping up and down. 

"Okay!" Link said. We started to walk to the exit, but Link stopped and turned to Penny.

"How did you know about the Zoras?" he asked.

"Uh...I...uh..." she stammered. Damnit, gotta think fast.

"In our dreams! We saw them...er...in our visions...remember, that we were telling you about?" I said quickly.

"Um...yeah, I guess," he said hesitantly. We walked on a little bit more in silence, then Legolas piped up.

"That's pretty sketchy."

"Shut up," Penny and I said at the same time. The guys laughed, and we entered the castle again. After we returned to our rooms, grabbed our belongings, and Link quickly thanked the princess (although we were all pretty pissed off at him for doing it), we set out on the road again. 

"So, what's this Zora place?" Legolas asked as we walked along the path.

"The Zoras are aquatic people," Link explained. "They're very friendly, and they live in a beautiful domain."

"Ohh," Legolas said.

"Come on!" Link said, jumping across the stream to the entrance to Zora river. After we weaved our way through to the entrance, Link whipped out his ocarina, and played Zelda's lullaby. The raging waterfall slowed down to a light trickle, and Penny almost fell asleep. It was hilarious.

"It's...weird..." she whispered to me inbetween yawns. "When you're playing..." she yawned again, "...the game...you never get tired!" 

"It's okay, Penz," I said, patting her on the shoulder.

"This will wake you up!" Link said, jumping across to the alcove behind the waterfall. Legolas smiled at us, then jumped across. 

"Sure, leave ME with the sleepy one!" I exclaimed, trying to hold Penny up. "C'mon, Penz, wake up!" I said, shaking her. She sort-of came to, and I made her jump across. Then I lept after her, and we all made our way to the entrance of Zoras Domain.

"It's not frozen!" Penny exclaimed, obviously awake now.

"Well...it's not winter, so it wouldn't be frozen," Legolas reasoned.

"It's been thawed for a few years now, ever since I...hey, how did you know that?!" Link questioned.

"A dream," Penny said quickly.

"Right. So, anyways," I said, trying to change the subject. "Where to?"

"Let's go greet the King," Link said, leading us up a giant flight of stairs.

"Jeez...is this all you do? Bow to royalty?" Penny asked Link.

"No, just when it's appropriate," Link said as we reached to top of the stairs. "Your highness," he said, bowing to the giant fish.

"Ah! Link! How are you?!" the fish exclaimed, his booming voice echoing off the walls.

"Wonderful. And I've brought some friends. It's good to see you sir," he said, backing away.

"I will tell my daughter you are here!"

"No - you really don't have to-"

"RUTO!!!!!!!!!!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs. Little waves began crashing on the shores around us.

"Yes daddy?" a weird-looking fish lady said, skipping out of a side door. "LINK!" she screeched. "How good to see you!" she cried, rushing over to him. 

"Uh...yes, good to see you too," Link said. He looked like he was in extreme pain. Legolas, Penny, and I tried to hold back our laughter.

"Who are these...people?" she asked in a disgusted tone of voice.

"Hi! I'm Penny!" Penny exclaimed, holding out her hand to Ruto.

"Nice to meet you!" Ruto screeched.

"This is Legolas," Link said, and Legolas shook Ruto's...fin.

"And this is my-"

"His girlfriend," I said, quickly shaking her hand. I knew their history.

"Indeed," she said, glaring at me. "Well, I'm rather busy, but feel free to have a look around. I'm sure Link will be able to show you the way. Bye, Linky-Poo and friends," she said, strutting away. Once we were at a proper distance from the King's ears, we cracked up.

"Linky-Poo!" Legolas exclaimed. "That's great!"

"Yeah, Linky-Poo, where are we going?!" I cried, laughing harder. Link turned red from anger and embarrassment. He led us through the tunnel and almost to the edge of the waterfall, and all the while, we were still laughing. Then, all of a sudden, he picked me up and chucked me over the waterfall.

"DAAAAAMN YOUUUUUUU!" I screamed before hitting the surface of the water.

*Legolas*

We all watched Hillary plummet off the edge of the falls. Link stood inbetween Penny and I, laughing his ass off. He put his arms around us.

"Well, see you guys at the bottom," Link said, and gave us both a hard shove.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" Penny and I screamed simultaneously. When we surfaced, we looked up at Link, who was doubling over with laughter. 

"I'm gunna kill you!" Hillary exclaimed, climbing up a ladder on the other side of the room. She hiked up her skirt, and ran, sopping wet, all the way around to where Link was. 

"Hey Legolas!" I turned around, and Penny dunked me under the water. When she got off my shoulders, I grabbed her by the waist and threw her across the pool.

"BUGGERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" she exclaimed, doing a full twist in the air. I swam over to her, and grabbed her into a huge hug.

"Hey, love," I said, kissing her gently.

"Hieeee!" she replied. We looked up, and Link was still laughing. We watched Hillary sneak up behind him, and push him off the edge.

"BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!" he screamed just before he did a huge bellyflop. Then Hillary was the one laughing.

"Ouch...that's gunna leave a mark," Penny mumbled.

"Yeah, a big one," I added. Hillary jumped off, and swam over to Link.

"Haha," she said, pointing a finger at him. He just growled, his hair hanging in his face. In the meantime, all the Zoras had stopped to stare at us.

"Go on! Go back to your business!" Penny cried, waving them away. They all immediately swam or walked away.

"Sheesh, it's good having you around," I said to her.

"Isn't it always?" she said, grinning.

"Oh yeah," I said, kissing her again.

"Alright, alright," Link said, rather loudly. "Enough making babies. Come on, let's get out of here," he said, swimming over to a wall.

"Shortcut?" Hillary asked.

"Yep, follow me," Link said, diving under the water. Hillary and Penny followed, and I took one last look around before diving after them and entering the small dark tunnel.

Link: Dude, my girlfriend is so much cooler than yours.

Legolas: Dude, no! Penny's way hotter!

Link: Dude, Hillary's hotter!

Legolas: Dude, Penny has nicer eyes!

Link: Dude, Hillary has longer legs!

Legolas: Dude, Penny has bigger boobs!

Link: Dude, how the hell do you know?! *Hillary and Penny smack their respective boyfriends upside the head*

Hillary and Penny: SHUT UP!

Link and Legolas: Dude...

Thank you. And as always, REVIEW OR DIE! Hey, that should be our slogan or something...


	12. Chapter 12

YEAH! I'm a buttmunch! Hehe, ok, here comes the next chapter! You better review or I'll put you in the toaster and turn it on full power!! Thank you! ^_^

~*Storm*~

Penny

I swam out of the tunnel and into the lake, I surfaced and found myself facing Link. He was looking towards shore, so I turned to see what was so fascinating. Holy…

There were hundreds of People, sitting around by the lake, wandering over the bridges, swimming, looking around makeshift market stalls, what the heck is going on? 

Legolas and Hillary surfaced and also looked pretty shocked that the usually deserted lake was no swarming with People. 

"Link! What's going on?", said Hillary, swimming over to him and putting her arms around his neck. 

"How could I have forgotten!? Only the coolest thing of the year!!", he exclaimed gleefully. Legolas swam over and pinched me on the butt causing me to scream. 

"Nothing to scream about Penny! It's the annual thoroughbred Dragon racing event".

"Dragon racing!? COOL! I'M THERE!", I yelled, swimming towards shore, dodging a couple of small children. I love children….but I really couldn't eat a whole one, heheheh! I got up out of the water and wrung out my hair. Hillary stood up beside me. "Oh my god, this is gonna be SO cool!".

"I know! I can hardly wait!!", I agreed. 

"C'mon, let's go to the stands and get some seats!", said Link, grabbing Hillary's hand. 

"I don't see any 'stands'", Legolas said looking around. 

"No, they're through the pass on the field, this is just the place where people try to sell stuff and eat lunch before they go and watch". Link explained. 

Legolas grabbed my hand and we all went through to the field. 

"WHOA! COOL!", I exclaimed as we came out, all the dragons were tethered up, banners were flying everywhere, and the stands were almost crammed full of people already. 

"C'mon! This way!", Link yelled, running up the metal steps to some seats he'd seen. He had competition, there was another man running towards them as well. 

'This could be entertaining', I thought to myself with a snigger. Link pushed his way through yelling, "Get out the way get out the way get out the way", and leapt on all four seats, sprawling himself across them. "SAVED!", he said triumphantly at the man, who'd just got there too late and had given my friend the evilest look ever known to man. All of us laughed as me, Hillary and Legolas sat down. 

"Ooh! Look at that seriously cute little dragon! Isn't it precious!?", I said, my eyes Sparkling like some corny anime cartoon. (A/N I love anime…just it's really corny with the glittery eyes….lmao!) 

"That's piddles!", Link said laughing, we all burst out into hysterics at the name. 

"Aaw! No! That is too cute to be true!". Hillary said, also seeing the tiny little creature, dwarfed by the others. 

"He doesn't look it but he's extremely good, he's come first one year, and second 4 times". 

"Wow, that's amazing! He's so small!", Legolas said with a grin. 

"Yeah, but the best and the favorite is Farbeh. He's amazing! He's that green one over there…".

I looked over and instantly fell in love with the creature. He was beautiful, long and sleek, with powerful wings, he was a light green with black markings in various places that looked like those gorgeous Celtic tattoos that people have. 

"Which is that Black one over there…", legolas said, with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Oh weird….. it looks so evil", Hillary commented. I could see the one they were talking about, it did look horrible, with huge curved horns upon its head and it's eyes glowed a malicious crimson. It looked straight at me and I shuddered. 

"Cold sweetie?", Legolas said putting an arm around me. I felt better now.

"I've never seen that one before he must be new". Link said. A man in the row in front of us turned around with a warm smile. "Forgive me for listening in but I know that Dragon, it's a new one called Thalatar".

"Oh really? Who owns it", Link said, leaning forward to talk to the man. 

"The owner likes to remain anonymous, it looks extremely untrustworthy, I'm hoping it doesn't hurt my Farbeh", the man said. 

"Oh Goddesses, Lord Farnell I presume!", Link suddenly said, holding out a hand. The man shook it. "Naturally", he said with a grin. I immediately took a liking to him, he was friendly and quick to smile. 

Suddenly a man with a loudspeaker came onto a platform. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am extremely sorry, but unless we have your help the whole race is off!".

There was a large moan throughout the crowd.

"The rider of the Dragon Farbeh has been struck down with a strange and unknown virus, our Lake-side professor is working on it. But in the meantime if the race is to go forward we need someone to take his place. May I remind you it is extremely dangerous and should not be taken lightly". There was silence throughout the crowd. Farnell looked devastated, I felt so so so sorry for him. 

"Anyone…??". At this, something flooded into me, probably my sense of immortality and mentalness. "I'LL DO IT!", I yelled running down to the platform before any of my friends could stop me. The whole place rang with cheers, as I stepped up next to the man. 

"A girl?", he said, absolutely shocked. 

"Yes, a girl, does that cause you a problem?". 

"No! This is our first Female racer everybody!", he announced. There was a huge cheer, especially from the Gerudos, some of which were holding up signs for women's rights. I laughed. The man turned to me. "Okay, there's half an hour before the race starts, so go get ready and try to bond with your Dragon otherwise he might not obey you totally".

"Right-o!", I said, running over to where the Dragons were tethered up. I made my way along to the gorgeous green dragon I'd spotted earlier. It looked down at me.

"Uh…hi!?", I said giving a little wave. It brought it's head down level with mine, looking me right square in the eyes. 

~*# Who the hell are you, and what do you want?#*~ I heard a voice in the back of my mind say, the necklace must have been acting up again. 

"Well, your usual rider fell ill, so I'm taking his place…", I explained. The dragon just kept staring at me, before it's lips seemed to curl up in a smile. 

~*# You are trustworthy child, I know you have done this out of giving happiness to others#*~

"Well, yeah I guess so…It's just your master looked so disappointed…and I admit, I really, really wanted to just ride a dragon also…".

~*#Understandable….are those your friends?#*~ Farbeh the dragon said in the back of my mind, looking behind me. I turned to see…uh oh…All three of my friends were coming towards me. Legolas was ashen faced, completely pale, scared out of his wits. Link looked furious, his face was a thundercloud, Hillary also looked scared but excited. 

"Do…you know, what you are letting yourself in for!?", managed to squeeze out between his anger, he was having trouble not shouting at me. It was really quite amusing, but I wasn't going to laugh or I'd be in more trouble.

"Penny, you gotta be real, real careful!", Said Hillary. Legolas walked over and hugged me tight.

"You could die…", he said.

"What will you do if I do die?", I said grinning.

"I will think to myself, Thank God I fucked you when I did". 

"LEGOLAS!", I snapped in mock anger, punching him in the chest. Then Farnell came over. "Thank you so much young lady, you've saved me, please take these". He handed me a pair of very thick leather gloves, with a couple of odd looking symbols on them.

"Ooh! Runes, ain't seen those in a while", said Legolas taking a good look. I took them back from him and put them on. 

"They're good for gripping onto the reins otherwise it would hurt a lot if you used your bare hands", Farnell explained with a smile. I grinned and put them on, the runes glowed slightly and they moulded to fit my hands perfectly. "Cool!", I said, admiring them. 

"The race will start in five minutes!", The announcer's voice rang out, followed by a loud roar of cheering. 

"Well, you better get on Farbeh and take him to the start line, it's very much like riding a horse", Farnell rambled on, while I got up onto the dragon. The saddle was huge and extremely comfortable. I slotted my feet into the stirrups and grabbed the reins. "Farbeh! To the starts line!", I said with a large grin pointing at where the other huge reptiles were lining up. The Dragon obeyed and walked slowly over, woah! This thing is bumpy! I thought, being rocked around. 

The dragon stopped at the starting line. There were two dragons to the left of me, one red and one blue which were snapping at each other. On the right of me, was the huge black dragon Thalatar. I couldn't help notice that it was staring at my necklace. 

I looked up to see my three friends, waving at me. So I lifted my arm to wave back. There was a huge cheer as I did this, so I put my arm down….it stopped. I giggled and put my arm up again, everyone cheered again. I put my other arm up in the air, the cheer increased to a roar. This rocked!

"Get ready riders!", the man warned. I put down my hands, getting ready, gripping the reins tightly. 

Two people moved onto the platform, I recognised them as Darunia and Saria. Darunia sent three red balls of energy into the air, Saria sent one ball of green, they were in a line, and I realised the acted as the starting lights, very clever…

The first red, flashed brighter than the others, then the next red…then the next….and the green! "GO FARBEH GO!!! FLY LIKE THE WIND BABY! YEEEHA!!!", I yelled. The Dragon roared with laughter, (as did the crowd who'd obviously heard me) and broke into a run, spreading his wings and slowly taking off from the ground. 

The other dragons were doing pretty much the same, but Farbeh was much faster and far more powerful than all of them. He soared into the air, and I felt my stomach melt away. Hyrule spread out beneath me like some huge painting, and I could still hear the cheers from the excited crowd. We flew out, over  the gerudo's fortress, the tiny dragon piddles appeared, flapping madly at farbeh's side, growling like a tiger cub. 

Farbeh's lips parted in a devilish grin and with one extra large beat of his wings, we were far ahead of the tiny dragon. I swerved the reigns to the right, following the trail clearly marked out with green flags. I could see the desert colossus coming into view, the huge statue of the sand Goddess, peaking out, over a dune. I looked behind me, and I could see all the dragons in a sort of funny formation behind me. Piddles was a bit further down the line now but the huge dragon Thalatar was slowly over taking everyone, until he was coming roughly third. 

Suddenly Farbeh made a worried growl and I turned to see we were heading extremely fast towards the rock face and he wasn't sure which way to go. "HOLY F***!!!", I yelled tugging the reigns as hard as I could towards the left, I heard my dragon's claws scraping against the sand-blown stone and I winced, closing my eyes. When I opened them again, we were racing back over the desert, the sandstorm below hid the ground from view, quite a spooky effect…

We were coming back over the fortress, when I noticed the green flags going down into the gorge. "They can't be serious!", I yelled as Farbeh swooped down, completely verticle. How I managed to stay on was a bloody mystery…

Then I found myself looking at everything as if the sides of the gorge were the floor and the ceiling, my Dragon was leaning completely to his side, as to go along the gorge without getting hurt as his wing span was so large. We soared out over the lake and I looked around desperately for the flags, they were through the passage, onto the field, past all the seats. I swerved my dragon towards the pass, and he flipped onto his side again, as I came bursting out the other side the cheers were deafening! I was racing past at about a hundred miles an hour so I couldn't see my friends in the crowd. I carried on past and followed the flags over the forest, I looked down to see some kokiri look up in awe, or scream and run into their houses. 

I looked down into the lost woods, it was just a canopy, not and open air maze like thingy like it was in the game, I couldn't see into it, and a strange mist seeped between the leaves. 

I heard a loud snorting behind me, and I saw the black dragon Thalatar pushing himself to the limit, and gaining on us. "C'mon farbeh!", I yelled, I looked behind again…and I realised…He wasn't trying to overtake me, he was heading straight for me! 

"OH SH*T!", I yelled, before a huge black wing, crashed into the side of me, sending me sailing of the back of my dragon. The cheers that had been ringing out over the field stopped completely, as I went into free fall, hurtling down, tumbling over and over, heading towards the trees. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I opened my mouth into the loudest yell I'd ever yelled. "FAAAAAAARBAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!".

'Well…', I thought, 'If that doesn't work, at least I won't die a virgin…'. 

Legolas

My Stomach lurched as I watched Penny drop. My mouth just dropped open and I was struck dumb, not able to say anything. Link started screeching abuse at the black dragon, and Hillary burst into tears. Penny's dragon hadn't noticed and was flying off without her. 

"Please! Please notice her!", I begged silently. 

Then suddenly, the dragon swooped upwards and backwards, as if in a huge loop de loop, he then plummeted down, gaining speed fast. My heart almost stopped beating, everything happened in slow motion, as Farbeh swooped down, underneath Penny, and she slammed down onto his back. The dragon roared in Pain, but this seemed to make him faster. He lurched up into the air again, flying towards the castle and around, coming back towards the finish line. But the Black dragon, thalatar was already here, and crossed the line, making it first. The crowd booed loudly, shouts of , "Cheat!", and "Foul play!", rang out. But it just smiled a devilish grin. I turned to see Link staring at it menacingly, sword drawn, a sort of manic look on his face, his eyes burned with pure hatred and sheer anger. Penny landed and slid off farbeh, crashing to the ground. The whole crowd gasped, and a worried murmur rose up into the air. All four of us sprinted down to her, and held her in my arms, she looked up at me stupidly. 

"My whole life just flashed before my eyes…It's bloody boring, don't let me get started!", she said. I just hugged her tighter than is possible. Hillary was wiping her eyes and rambling on about how worried she was and how much she would of cried had penny died. Link was making threatening references towards Thalatar and telling Penny that she shouldn't jump into such dangerous things as that. But Penny wasn't listening and the color drained from her face. 

"What is it?", I asked her, concerned.

"My….my necklace….It's….gone….".

~*~*~ 

Sorry this took so long, but it's good ain't it? Go'on admit it you little munchkins!!! As always review or Link will come to your house, sword drawn. Ganondorf will be sent to anyone who thinks Link is cute and would smother him with kisses instead of paying attention to his threats. Thank you!


	13. Chapter 13

Hey y'all! It's been a while, I know, but I've been really busy. Once marching band season is over (in November) I'll have more time to write, and maybe start up my own website (with my friend Tina possibly) to post stuff that ff.net doesn't allow anymore (coughcoughjoshhartnettjeffhardyandorlandobloomcoughcough). lmao, when my friend Tina asked "where have you been?!" (as in writing the chapter) my response was, "Eating tato chips." With that said, here's chapter 13! (my lucky number!)  
  
*Hillary*  
We all looked stupidly at Penny's neckline to see if the thing really was gone. And of course it was. Why would the necklace still be there?! Why would good luck grace us when bad luck always seemed to follow us around?!!! Well...maybe just Penny...that girl's a walking calamity...remember the Poe incident? and the fun time she had at the palace? and now this?! I still love her. She's one of a kind. (And she's British! Sooooo lucky! I'd kill for an accent like that!) Well anyways, I was looking at the guys now, and Legolas wasn't...um...looking at Penny's neckline anymore.  
"Hey Legolas!" I said loudly, "Having any luck yet?!" He glared at me and turned a light pink color. Penny growled.  
"This is serious guys! We've got to find that necklace!" she exclaimed, waving her arms in the air.  
"Well, where were you when you felt it drop off?" I asked, crossing my arms.  
"Um...I was over a heavily wooded area," Penny said, frowning. "A heavily wooded area with lots of passages...like a Labyrinth..."  
"The Lost Woods!" Link exclaimed, yanking my arm towards Kokiri. I yelped and and to run to keep up with him. Penny and Legolas were on our tail, and Hyrule field flew by me as we ran to the entrance of Kokiri Village.  
"Hello!" a weird-looking child with blue pigtails and blue eyes screeched at us as we ran by. Penny waved at her, and then Link stopped abruptly in front of the vines that you need to climb to get to the lost woods. (Zelda players will understand...) Link and Legolas stood in front of the vines, shoulder to shoulder, and gracefully jumped up the wall, placing their right foot in the middle of the vines, and hoisting themselves up on the edge, simultaneously. Then thry turned around at the same time, and offered their right hands to us. Penny and I stood there, jaws dropped. Then we cracked up at the same time.  
"DID YOU SEE THAT?!" Penny howled, falling on the ground.  
"YEAH! IT WAS LIKE THEY PLANNED THAT OR SOMETHING!!!!!" I screamed, laughing harder and louder each second.  
"What?!" Link and Legolas asked at the same time. That made us laugh harder.  
"GAAH! THEY DIDN'T PLAN THAT! AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Penny screamed, and we were both crying by this time. When we finally staggered to our feet, Legolas and Link were staring down at us, and they looked so much alike it was scary. Penny and I stood shoulder to shoulder (much like Link and Legolas did), and ran at the vines. Penny got a foot up and clung on for dear life, swinging there slighty about two feet above the ground, howling like a mainiac. I ran and hit the wall, and fell down on the ground, and started laughing all over again.  
"Wait...wait...let me try this again!" I said inbetween laughs. I staggered over to the vines and slowly climbed up. Penny was still dangling there, laughing, when I reached the top.  
"You gunna come Penz, or not?" Link asked, giving odd glances at Legolas and I. The only response we got was crazed laughter. She eventually made it to the top, and when we all finally were standing at the top of the ledge, we looked down, and I do believe the whole village of Kokiri was standing below, staring at us. They all had glazed looks over their funny-colored eyes, and I can't imagine what they were thinking when Penny started waving and talking to them. I eventually grabbed her arm and yanked her after Link and Legolas, who had already crossed through the entrance to the Lost Woods, where the Spaz Queen supposedly dropped her necklace. When we stepped inside, Link was ready with his sword drawn and Legolas with his bow. Penny and I looked around anxiously to see if anything was going to attack us. We saw nothing, and heard nothing except for a soft, constant melody in the distance.  
"Come on guys, I wanna find my necklace," Penny said, her seriousness returning as quickly as it had left. Legolas reached down and grabbed a handful of flowers, and handed it to her.  
"I picked these for you," he said sweetly, flashing that smile that could melt any girl's heart.  
"Aww, thanks Legolas!" Penny said, kissing his cheek and taking the flowers. There was a single red flower growing in the ground next to Penny, and when she went to pick it for Legolas, it moved away from her.  
"That's odd..." she said. She reached out again, and the flower bent over, like Penny was radiating some sort of unseen force from her fingertips. When she touched the soft petals, the flower grew about 6 feet tall.  
"HOLY SHIT!" I exclaimed, gaping at the monstrous plant.  
"BLIMEY!" Penny and Legolas screamed at the same time.  
"Penny?! What the hell did you eat?!" Link shouted jokingly, now in the shadow of the massive flower.  
"I...I...I don't know...I..." Penny stammered. She went into deep thought for a minute, then stood up, holding her hands against her chest, (very Zelda-like).   
"What it it, Penny?" Legolas asked, a bit worried.  
"Guys, I need to tell you about the necklace, and why we need to find it," she said seriously. "A few days back, I had a dream, and the goddess Faore was in it."  
"Who?" Legolas asked.  
"Goddess of the earth," Link said.  
"Oh," Legolas replied.  
"Well anyways, she told me about my necklace in the dream. It holds special powers, Faore's powers."  
"But...then why did it have a dragon on it?" Link asked, furrowing his brow.  
"It actually belongs to Din, the fire goddess," Penny clarified, for Legolas. "But soon the dragon will disappear and a unicorn will appear, her symbol. The Goddesses switched the symbols around to confuse Ganondorf and buy us some more time to stop him from gathering their power and using it to come back to hyrule and take the triforce!" Penny exclaimed.  
"Oh no, not again!" Link groaned. I could sense his anger just by watching his usually calm eyes fill with hatred and the muscles in his body tighten.  
"Yes! And that's why we need to find the necklace! Before one of Ganondorf's workers do!" Penny said.  
"But, Penny," I said softly. "There are lots and lots of woods in Hyrule. How do you know the necklace is here?" She frowned.  
"I don't."   
"Well, we better get busy looking, guys," Legolas said, walking towards one of the passages. "We can split up, we'll cover more ground that way."  
"NO!" Link, Penny, and I screamed at the same time.  
"You'll get lost," I said, racing after him.  
"They don't call them the Lost Woods for nothing, you know," Penny said, taking his hand.  
"Yes. We stay together, or we don't go at all. Now, if we go this way, it's a straight dead end, so we'll have no trouble getting out of here if the necklace isn't in that area. Let's go," Link said. And with that, we all hurried into the west passage. The area was giant, and we each began to search every corner. After nothing turned up, we headed back out through the west passage and into the east one. This took us to a place with a pool of water, and two other passages leading north and south. There was no necklace there, either, so we headed north.   
"You know, aside of the creepy music and the shadows, this place is kinda cool," I said, trying to lighten the mood.  
"Yeah, right, if you're into getting lost and dying of starvation," Link said darkly.  
"How long do you think we have until Ganon-whatever his name is finds the necklace?" Legolas asked.  
"Probably a day at most," Penny said, sighing. "There's nothing in this area!" she shouted. "Come on!" We pressed on room after room after room after room, and soon even Link didn't know where we were.  
"Goddamnit," I said, slumping down in a corner. "Now we're lost _and _we don't know where the necklace is. We're screwed."  
"Thanks for the optimism, Love," Legolas said sarcastically.  
"I agree with her," Penny said, sitting down next to me. She reached out and touched a single weed, and the thing grew bigger than the flower had.  
"Shit, my power's growing," Penny said, crossing her arms. "It's seeping into me now that the necklace is gone. I'm even starting to hear what you guys are thinking," Penny said, placing her face in her hands.  
"Oh really?" Link asked, interested. "What's Hillary thinking?" Oh shit. Penny looked at me, and I knew it was too late.  
"Not all of it is clear, but it has something to do with you, Link, and..." Penny burst into a fit of giggles. "Hillary, you're a very naughty girl!" Penny said, laughing harder.  
"Hmm!" Link said, grinning like an idiot. Legolas patted him on the back.  
"You want him to..." she looked at me again. "Hillary!" she said, scoldingly.  
"Well damnit, could you blame me? I mean, look at him!" I shouted, waving a hand in his direction. He grinned wider and crossed his arms.  
"I think I know what Link's doing tonight!" Legolas said, walking across the clearing with him to look some more for the necklace, I guess.  
"Penny, you're such a bitch!" I shouted, lightly punching her shoulder. She cackled wildly.  
"Don't worry, all I could read was, 'we're screwed, we're screwed, how could this happen to us...to Penny...to me...' and then something about 'now we're lost and we're gunna get killed by Ganondorf.'" I stared in shock at her.  
"Wow, that's amazing Penny! How the hell do you do that?!"   
"I dunno, I just look at a person, and think, and it happens."  
"Wow! What am I thinking now?" I asked. I was saying "Penny has a big bum" over and over in my head. She cracked up.  
"Yeah, well at least it's a nice big bum!" she said, and we cracked up together. She definitely heard me.  
  
*Legolas*  
Walking over to the other side of the enclosed area with Link, I began to wonder about this Ganondork guy. Who was he, really? And what did he do to have everyone here hate him?  
"Hey Link, who's this guy you all are always complaining about?" I asked, searching the ground for any signs of jewelry. Oh, and another thing, I've had too many damn adventures that had to do with jewelry.  
"He's the scum of the earth, basically," Link said, very casually.  
"What did he do?"  
"Came out of nowhere, swore his allegiance to the King, then tried to use his dark powers to take control of the triforce, our source of power and balance in the world, and take over the earth." Link said this with so much hatred, I thought some was going to seep out and enter my body. Yuck. Now there's a disgusting thought.  
"Oh, so what happened? How was he stopped?" I asked. Link took a deep breath and began to tell me the story.  
"It all began when...you know, nevermind, this story is going to be too damn long to tell you in one sitting, when we don't really have any time left," Link said, spastically.   
"Right," I said, frowning.  
"I fought him off and banished him to some other dimension...with the help of Zelda's magic. But I did all the fighting, over two time periods, by the way, and basically kicked ass so Ganondorf couldn't come back."  
"I guess you didn't kick hard enough," I reasoned, crossing my arms. He nodded.  
"Yeah, well, there's only so much one man can do. Isn't that right, babe?" Link asked as Hillary and Penny approached. Hillary glared at Link.  
"Right!" Penny said, smiling. I couldn't help but notice that Hillary looked sad. In fact, I had never really seen the girl completely happy, ever...pity.  
"Ready to get going?" Link asked, putting his arms around Hillary and Penny. Hillary looked very uncomfortable.  
"Yeah," Hillary said, walking towards the exit.  
"Hey Legolas," Penny said, walking up to me, and grasping my hand.  
"Hello Sweet Penny," I said, gazing at her.   
"Hey Link, do you know where we are?" Penny asked as we entered another room.   
"Uh...yeah...I just...um..." It was apparent that he was as clueless as we were.  
"Well?" Penny asked optimistically.  
"Yeah. If we go through that way, it'll take us back to the room two doors away from the room with the small water pool."  
"That's crap!" Hillary said. "I know we've been in this room before!"   
"No, we haven't!" Link argued back. "I've been in here many times before, I think I'd know my way around."  
"Would you?" Hillary snapped.  
"Yes, I would. And where did you acquire this attitude from?" he said, scowling.  
"Attitude? You're the one with an attitude," Hillary barked.  
"Children, children," Penny scolded, walking between them. "Let's not fight. Play nicely, and we'll be able to get out of here sooner." I smiled, because they finally shut up. That's my Penny. Always has a way with words. I spoke up next.  
"Yeah, come on, let's go. The ring obviously isn't here so..."  
"The ring?!" Penny, Hillary, and Link asked at the same time. Damnit all!   
"I mean...the necklace..." I said, blushing a bit. Penny and Hillary smiled at eachother, like they knew something we didn't. Probably did. We walked into a room with two stumps.   
"We were just in this room five minutes ago!" Hillary said, becoming agitated again.   
"Yeah, we were," Penny said, walking over to the corner. "Look at this gargantuan flower. I don't think mother nature did that," she said, giggling.   
"Let's try the next room!" I said, before Link and Hillary went to rip eachother's hair out. We all shuffled in there, and it looked like all the other rooms.  
"Goddamnit!" Hillary said, and plopped down. Penny stood quietly for a minute, thinking.  
"I've got it!" she shouted.  
"Yes?!" The other three of us screamed.  
"Link, you can warp us out of here! And back...to some place else!" she said gleefully, bouncing around.   
"Yeah, I can!" Link said, whipping out his ocarina.  
"Thank you Penny," Hillary said, getting up and standing next to Link.   
"Anytime!" she replied cheerfully. That's my girl. The smart, cute one, with the brown hair...over there. Yep, she's mine.  
"Everyone hold on," Link said, and we all grabbed an arm or a shoulder. He began to play a mysterious tune, (one that almost put me to sleep), and we were soon surrounded by a golden light. Then we were wisked off of our feet and all of Hyrule was passing by at an extrenuous pace. Then we were back inside some sort of large church, standing on a small platform, safe and sound.   
"Thank the Gods we're out of there," I said, letting go of Link.   
"Yeah, really," Hillary added, walking towards the door.   
"Come on, everyone!" Penny said, rushing after her. "We've got to find my necklace!"  
And with that, we raced back into the sunlight, and out into Hyrule field.  
  
Cripes, that took me long enough. Oh, a little tension going on there! Uh-oh! Well, hopefully Storm-child's faster at getting the next chapter up. Well, cya then!


	14. Chapter 14

I am SO sorry this is taking so long peeps, but I have fuckloads of coursework to do and it's all really important yadda yadda yadda and guess what, I was just ill for a week and not allowed on the comp .;; I'm so sorry!! 

Stormeh!

Penny

We ran out onto the field, being crazy like usual. I was skipping ahead, singing, and I could hear Hillary laughing behind me.

"Penny, wait up!", I heard Legolas running towards me. I tried to run away from him, but as I'd forgotten Elves are extremely light on their feet and he caught up with me in no time, but he wasn't looking where he was going…not that there was anything in his way, I'm just mean!

"Oh look honey! A tree!", I said Gleefully. "Huh?", he said, his shock causing him to somehow trip himself up….The dunderhead!

I giggled, and I can't run when I'm laughing so I had to stop. I was about halfway between the forest and the ranch….in line with Kakariko when…I went silent, something wasn't right. I could feel huge waves of elemental power streaming towards the village…earth power. It was being sucked up, I watched as a towering tree wilted almost immediately as a huge wave of the magic approached me. I literally leapt in the air to avoid the necklace's power from being taken away from me, so I wouldn't…..well…sorta shrivel up, and I really don't wanna talk about it. 

"Nice jump Penny, good to see that you're all working", said Link.

"Shut up you dicksmack! Something weird is happening in the village".

"Well sor-eeeeeee miss flower grow but there's no one there, so that's impossible".

"NO Link! There's evil there, and a helluva lotta earth element magic being drawn towards it".

"Pen…what are you talking about".

I felt anger at his stupidity, how can someone be so dense! Something very bad was happening and he just refused to let himself understand! I turned towards him, and he backed away, staring at me fearfully. 

"P-penny…what's with the eyes….?". He stammered.

"This is no time for jokes Link!", I snapped, growling. 

"Penny…What's happening, your eyes are bright green…". Legolas said calmly, with little more understanding. 

"Huh? Oh I don't know and I really don't care, but energy is gathering there and – WOAH!!!". I yelled, unable to finish my sentence as a huge jolt pushed us off our feet, and a deep underground boom rang throughout the earth. 

"Not a good sign!", Hillary said, getting up.

"No shit Sherlock", Link said, rubbing his head. 

"Oh goddesses….", I whispered, the power was so concentrated it was really starting to effect me. Suddenly with a huge ripping sound, great claws of earth pierced through the surface, hurling Kakarikan houses in all directions. They raced upwards towards the sky, gripping, reaching, binding together to make u new, huge mountain, dwarfing that of the original death mountain. The sky seemed to invert colours, the blue turning orange and the clouds turning black. Everything had an eerie white sheen to it now. 

At the top of this new monstrosity, a  cloud of dust shielded something else that was going on, when it fell away, the ugly, evil and twisted remains of an ancient castle had rebuilt themselves. A deep booming laugh ran out over the land, definitely Ganondorf, and it was obvious that he had got my necklace. 

"Fuck!", said Hillary, at loss for a better word.

Link was out of smart-ass comments.

Legolas stared, mouth open, not sure what to do. 

I was on the case! 'Ok', I thought to myself. I have some of Farore's power, and what was her symbol again? Unicorn? Ok, let's see if I can summon a unicorn…'. I concentrated hard, thinking, Unicorn, unicorn, unicorn!!!

"I NEED A FREEKUN' UNICORN!!!", I yelled at the top of my voice. My comrades looked at me, I was about to explain when there was a loud whinny behind me. I turned to see a beautiful pearly white figure dashing towards me. 

"YES BABY!", I yelled, leaping on it as it neared me. 

"Penny, what are you doing?", Legolas asked me, voice shaking, face ashen, he knew exactly what I was going to do.

"I'm going up to sort this out once and for all….and I'm getting my necklace back!". I announced.

"PENNY! NO FUCKING WAY ARE YOU GOING UP THERE!!!", Hillary screamed at me.

"Good Idea Penny! I'm coming too!", said Link, leaping on the back of the unicorn, just as I dug my heels into its side. "LINK", I yelled, but he just chuckled, and took the mane, locking me in his arms. 

Legolas and Hillary were trying to run after us, but the Unicorn was really fast and we were half way up this mountain thing in under a minute.

We were coming to what looked like an entrance when I decided to look up at the whole castle. There was one huge tower in the centre, with a great glass dome on top. I could see a figure standing in the dome….it did not seem promising….

A bolt of dark purple….something came shooting towards us, and with an ugly hissing sound, purple snakes where carpeting the ground. The unicorn reared, and because of Link's goddamn weight, we went toppling off backwards into the sea of reptiles. I felt them tightening around me, and I was trapped, then the hissing ceased. No more snakes, just chains….not good. 

With a huge grinding noise, a big stone door opened and this like…wave of air started sucking us in. Being lighter than link, I went flying in first with a very demented noise, half scream, half swearing my head off. 

I found myself skidding to a halt in a huge stone chamber. There was a throne at one end, with the triforce symbol above it. In each triangle were….the different necklaces! Shining in all their glory! Link came flying in with a similar demented noise, and ended up sprawled next to me. "Good day", I said with a laugh. He rolled his eyes and tried to sit up, but failed miserably with his arms clamped to his sides. 

A sadistic laugh rang throughout this hall and I looked up to see none other than Ganondorf. Woah, he was waaaaaaaaaay uglier in real life, this was scary…nice muscles though…ooh, sorry. 

"Welcome to my castle Link, and you must be…".

"Penny the great", I said with a grin, heh! That threw him off course.

"Y-yes…", he said raising an eyebrow, which quickly dipped down into a frown. "You've interrupted my train of thought!!", he yelled at me. 

"So sorry old chap", I retorted with a grin. He growled, dangerously, behind him, there was a clanking noise and I could see that a cage was slowly being lowered from the ceiling. He looked straight at Link, and he started lifting up off the ground. I had to stop myself laughing, it looked so hilarious. He floated gracefully into the cage and dropped down with a loud thud. I waited my turn, but it didn't come. The chains binding me turned into snakes and slithered away into various cracks in the walls. I stood up, Ganondorf was glaring at me.

"You were the one who kept the necklace from me", he accused.

"Err….yeah?", I said.

"Every attempt I made, and you foiled me". 

I giggled. "Well that just makes you stupid, to be beaten by a girl, a big powerful 'wizard' guy". I taunted at his weakness. His eyes were going bright yellow so I shut up. A man appeared behind him, he was the guy I'd danced with at the castle. What was his name…? Lethys! Yeah. The I remembered Farore's words in my dream. "Don't trust Lethys". I could see what she meant, by the way he was looking at me, I was terrified. 

"Deal with her", Ganondorf said cruelly. The half blind man nodded and advanced towards me. I took steps back. "You know, I was joking, you're a great wizard, warlock….thing…..", I stammered, retreating further. Link, also free of his chains was standing against the bars of the cage.

"Ganondorf! If your henchman does ANYTHING to that girl, I will get my revenge on her behalf, as will many others". 

"Unfortunately not Link, there is no way you are going to get out of that cage, and if you did, you would probably break your legs from the fall." Ganondorf retaliated smoothly.

Lethys had me backed against a wall, I was petrified, the look in his eyes told me he was considering tearing my dress off.

"N-now, why can't we be civil…remember, we were dancing ever-so-gently…".

"Shut up girl", he hissed, suddenly he grabbed my hand and his face was centimetres from mine. "I remember…you looked ever so beautiful that night", he whispered. I noticed his ear was extremely close, and took the liberty to screech into it. He recoiled, clutching his head and I tried to run, but he caught up with me and punched me in the collarbone, I crashed onto the floor.

"YOU COWARD!", Link yelled, absolutely jumping up and down in rage, "YOU NEVER HIT WOMEN!!!".

"What are you going to do about it?", the man said nastily. I was trying to crawl away, but he hauled me up and dragged me to a door. 

"I'll see to it that your wench gets her just desserts", he said with a horrible grin, opening the door and pushing me in…

Link

All I could do was watch helplessly as Penny was dragged into a different room by the man. The screams and crashes that followed sent chills down my spine. He was shouting at her and calling her a bitch. It was horrific, I felt so useless. 

Finally the door opened again, and penny was chucked out, sent sprawling on the floor, clutching at a large rip in her dress.

The cage jolted and then plummeted to the floor. I was pinned back against the opposite wall as the door opened and he chucked Penny in. "That should teach the whore", He smirked, although I noticed a large red hand print across his face. Good old Penny, never lets them leave without a token of her appreciation. 

The force holding me let go, as the cage cranked upwards. I immediately knelt down beside my friend, she was shaking, and crying, the tears leaving streaks down her face, she looked so cute. 

"Penny it's ok..", I said laying a hand on her.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!", She screeched, curling up into a little ball. There was only one thing that could cause such a strong character like her to become like this. 

"LETHYS! YOU WHORESON! IF YOU EVER TOUCH HER AGAIN I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU ARE HUNG FROM THE TOP OF THIS TOWER BY YOUR LITTLE TOE!".

The bastard just laughed and exited from the hall. I knelt down next to Penny again, careful not to touch her. "Penz, it's ok, I won't let him do it again, I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you…", I looked down feeling ashamed. "But I couldn't….I feel terrible….".

She looked up at me, and the usual trademark gleam began to return. She put her arms around me and a held her there, she needed a hug for now. "I wonder what the others are doing…?". I said to her…

Legolas

"LEGO!!! Where the HELL are you going? The evil castle is THATAWAY!!", Hillary shouted from behind me. 

"I'm going to the lake, Penny has quite a lot of fans, and I think they'll help her…". I said, still running. Hillary was trying to keep up with me, so I slowed a bit. 

"All the people should still be at the lake right? Around the stalls?". I asked, worriedly.

"I guess so…", Hillary panted. We got to the iron gates and I leapt over. Hillary looked at me, most unimpressed and used a ladder. We ran on and found everyone dancing around a camp fire. Now, I'm usually quiet and reserved but I leapt into the middle. 

"It's the racing girl's boyfriend!", someone shouted, and they all cheered loudly. 

"Please! Listen!", I said as the various shouts died down. "She needs your help…". A murmur went up, then a man near the back wielding a pitchfork yelled out. "We'll help her! She saved the race!". Everyone cheered along with him.

"Ganondorf is back!!!", Hillary said, everyone turned and went silent, absolutely horrified. "He has crushed Kakariko to make way for his own fortress!", she told them. "And he has kidnapped, Link and Penny!", She said. Gasps and chatter filled the air, as they decided what to do. A man ran out from the lake, and came back moments later. "They're right! There's a new mountain over there!!!", he told them. A roar went up and the people ran about everywhere. I looked at hillary, and she shrugged, but within seconds they had gathered again, each wielding a torch, a pitchfork, a spade or a stick. 

"Lead the way", said one man at the front, looking at me, a keen glint in his eyes. 

Penny

I was still hugging Link when I heard someone enter. It was Ganondorf. He looked up at us and laughed. "Well now, look at the love birds in their cage, I thought you were with the other man you slut".

"We're best friends if you have to know, not love birds", I retorted angrily. He just cackled evilly, and I ignored him.

"My lord", Said Lethys running in, I crawled to the edge of the cage, grinning evilly. He was directly below me. "There is a crowd of people bearing torches, coming towards the castle, you can see them from the dome…".

"WHAT? UGH! Lead on Lethys".

I aimed a very good spit right at the bright ginger hair. It landed perfectly.

"Yes sir….EEUURGH!!", he yelled, he looked up at me. 

"YEAH! THAT WAS ME GINGERPUBES!", I screeched at him, flipping him the bird at the same time. 

I shut out whatever insult was hurled at me, and leant back against link who was shaking with laughter. "Worthless piece of crap…", I giggled, folding my arms across my chest. I looked over at the triforce with the necklaces in it. We were level with it, I was just staring at the green one, MY one, thinking how badly I wanted it back. If only we could swing the cage, and I had something with a hook….

"I've got it! I fucking did it!", I said, lightening up immediately. 

"What?", Said Link, curious. 

"Turn around!!!". I ordered. He did as he was told, and I fiddled around until without taking my dress off, I had my bra in my hand. He tunred around. "Hello!", He said with a large grin. 

"Behave! Now swing the cage!".

"What?".

"SWING THE CAGE GODDAMNIT!!!", I yelled. Link did as he was told and in a short amount of time we were becoming closer and closer to the triforce symbol. When we couldn't get any further. I reached out, poking my hand through the bars, still holding my bra. I'd bent the hook a little so it would work, and pushed my arm out until I could no further because my shoulder got in the way. When I felt us slowing down as we got closer, I made a wild swipe. 

"You almost got Nayru's there! Keep trying!", Link cried, egging me on. With the next swing I tried again, but knew I'd missed badly. Link shoved hard with all his weight and I pushed myself to the limit. "Third time lucky!", I grimaced, swinging my bra with full force. Something hooked! YES! I looked down and I had the red necklace. "Score!", I said. 

"Quick put it on!".

"What the bra?", I said with a grin.

"No…Leave that off, The necklace! Maybe you can get us out of here!!". Link said with a bigger grin. I smiled back, and put the necklace on, I immediately felt…well powerful!

"Alright, these bars are gonna wish they'd never been made!", I said, rolling up my sleeves and raising my arms. "Din's fire!", I yelled. A bolt of energy shot from me like a blowtorch, the bars melted almost instantly. "Link, we must get the other necklaces…" I said.

"I can do it!", he said, taking a running jump and hanging onto the triforce. 

"Oh my god link, be careful!!", I called out to him. He climbed up and threw the other necklaces to me. 

"Now Penny, let's hope you can do something fucking amazing when you have all three on or I'm going to break my legs from the fall", He said, his voice straining. I put them on quickly, and nearly got knocked over by the wave of energy, and I started floating. 

"Hey cool! Look at me!", I said, doing a somersault in the air, with a laugh. 

"Penny, this is neither the time, nor the place", Link said, jerking as he slipped. I quickly floated over to him, and lifted him up, before gently floating us down again. Suddenly the whole castle shook, it was probably about to bury itself again without the power of the necklaces holding it up, "Right, now I suggest we get out of here" I yelled, we ran down the long hall and got to the door. I blasted it open with a shot of ice. "Heh, thank you Nayru!", I said, as we ran outside, and started down the slope. Link was ahead of me and clouds of dust were rising everywhere as avalanches began to happen as the power was being taken away. There was an almighty roar and a streak of golden light smashed into the ground beside me. I looked up and it appeared as if Ganondorf had realised I was making away with his power. Suddenly the flesh on my back felt all tingly, I looked to my side and realised with horror that huge red scaly wings were sprouting from my shoulder blades. As I began to swoop into the air, I grabbed Link under the arms and carried him clear as with an immense rumbling the whole mountain collapsed. Everything went in reverse order, the rubble from the buildings in Kakariko surfaced, joined together and flew back to it's plot of land as a house. I swooped to low and met the ground at terrible speed, sending me and link flying. The wings disappeared and I rolled to the feet of a crowd of people, watching the mountain disappear in awed silence. I felt myself get picked up and within two seconds I was tongue wrestling passionately with Legolas. 

A loud cheer went up from the crowd, but it stopped abruptly when Ganondorf arose from where his hill had been. He saw himself surrounded by angry people, and hesitated. 

"Prepare to face the people of Hyrule", said Link, drawing his sword…

OMG!! I'VE FINISHED!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOO!! Sorry it took so long people, I love you all! Post nice things and it's muffins all round!! 


	15. Chapter 15

Hey friends! I hope you all haven't forgotten about us...we can't help it if we're slow! lol. Well, we got our first flame...I think it's the first, and personally, I think it's hilarious. Thank you, Moonlight's Mistress, for providing me with a good five minutes of laughter. First, Link and Legolas may be two different species, but so what? In the land of Middle Earth *cue mystical music* there are many different species that coexist! And on regular Earth, it's the same deal! And you're entitled to your opinion about the looks of the two males in the story. But please don't insult us, miss manner-less. If you don't like it, don't read it, plain and simple. But since you did insult us, I can't just let you get away with that, now, could I? It's in my blood to retaliate; my Irish temper is setting me off. Here's an intelligent line, and I quote, "I READ ABOUT TWO CHAPTERS AND GOT BOARD OUT OF MY WITS!" What does this story have to do with boards? We're not carpenters. "FUCKING CRAPPY FIC THEN IT DOSN'T BELONG ON THIS SITE!" Excuse me, who made you Webmaster of fanfiction.net? This isn't a site about actors, or bands...it's about characters. And that's allowed. "((All in all, this was a crappy fic, and by my standards, an F-)" Again, you're entitled to your opinion, but, gee, I've never heard of an "F-" before! In my school, we only have F's...not F-'s, because you're failing just the same. Let's all take a lesson from Moonlight's Mistress, and not insult other authors on ff.net. You're only making yourself look bad, or worse, unintelligent. (Not like that's directed to anyone...) Well, have a nice day, Moonlight's Mistress! Love the name, by the way...

Here's another!

From: ()

FUCKER!!! LINK IS MUCH MORE OF A GENTALMAN THAN LEGOLAS!!! FUCK YOU!!! YOU BITCH!

wow...what do you say to that? lmao...thanks for that comment. I think my I.Q. dropped a few points.

():o) I'm a good child, really, I am, heh heh. To all our other patrons, thank you! And here's chapter 15. 

*Hillary*

"Prepare to face the people of Hyrule", said Link, drawing his sword. Penny whipped out her daggers, and flipped them around quickly, catching them in the palms of her hands. Legolas quickly drew an arrow, and aimed it at Ganondorf. Link and I drew our swords simultaneously, and grinned at eachother. When this was all over, I'm gunna maul that boy, heh heh.

Ganondorf started laughing is evil, stupid laugh, and a flash of light blinded evenyone temporarily. When our eyes re-focused, he was floating above the ground, with a golden circle of light encompassing him. Legolas fired and arrow, straight at his head. Gee, that would be the easiest fight Hyrule had ever seen; Ganondorf falls as an arrow pierces his skull. Too bad the arrow couldn't pierce the golden light. He was still laughing, like a broken record. Idiot.

"You Hylians think you're so powerful!" He bellowed in a booming voice, shaking us all. He laughed again. I sighed; this was getting old. 

"Give it up, Ganondorf!" Penny screamed, in the front of all of us. A blue light formed around her, the power of the necklaces flowing through her. 

"You're all foolish! Do you actually think I need the power of the necklaces?!" he shouted.

"Your castle did, you ignorant ugly bastard!" I shouted, chuckling to myself. He looked behind him, and what he saw seemed to pain him. He turned around, and shouted again.

"FOOLS!" He outstretched his arms, and everyone was knocked over except Penny. "WHEN I WAS BANISHED, MY POWER ONLY INCREASED! YOU ALL WILL BOW BEFORE ME, OR WILL SUFFER ETERNALLY!!" 

"We will never bow to you!" Penny screamed, shooting a wave of blue light at Ganondorf. The blue light was met with the gold light, and a fight ensued. We all felt completely helpless; our mortal weapons couldn't touch Ganondorf. The fate of Hyrule rested of Penny's shoulders. I felt for her.

"HAH! WEAKLING! YOUR POWER IS FAILING!" Ganondorf exclaimed as the beam of gold light lengthened and Penny moved closer to the ground. 

"I...I can't...fight...anymore..." she said, and collapsed from exhaustion. The gold light zapped her, and she was knocked unconscious. The roar from the crowd was deafening, and everyone rushed Ganondorf. He knocked everyone over again, but Legolas, Link, and I crawled over to Penny. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at us. 

"Penny!" I exclaimed. "Fight!" 

Ganondorf lowered himself to the ground, and the gold light faded. He walked over to our group of four, and lifted Link, Legolas, and I off the ground. We were quickly hurled into a stone wall, our backs pressed harder and harder into it. We watched the scene in front of us unfold quickly. He lifted he injured and dazed Penny up off the ground with his hands, and held her above his head.

"BOW TO ME, OR YOUR FIGHTER FALLS!" Link, Legolas and I began screaming.

But the people of Hyrule did not bow. "FINE!" he screamed. "FOOLS!" Everything moved in slow motion then. He threw Penny down on the ground, but she stopped about four inches from the grass, Matrix-style, and hovered there. She stood up, and gave Ganondorf a swift kick, knocking him to the ground. I assume because of the unexpected blow, his powers were weakened, and the three of us pinned to the wall were released. We jumped up and sprinted towards Penny and Ganondorf. But he stood up quickly and knocked everyone over again, including Penny this time. 

Horror engulfed us all as we watched what Ganondorf did next. He locked Penny to the ground with his golden light, and then ripped the necklaces from her neck. 

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Legolas, Link, and I screamed, completely helpless. Ganondorf started laughing again.

"FINALLY! THE POWER IS MIIIIIIIIIIINE! THE UNIVERSE IS MINE TO COMMAND! TO CONTROL!" he screamed, lifting his powers off Penny. Without the necklaces now, Penny was completely powerless. She was breathing slowly, and Ganondorf reached down and pulled off all her weapons. 

"YOU WILL BOW TO ME! BOW, OR SUFFER YOUR FIGHTER!" 

Penny rolled onto her back, then sat up. Ganondorf held Penny's sword to her neck, and an eerie silence fell upon the entire land. I looked over at Legolas and Link. They were both extremely pale, and had tears in their eyes. As much as I was afraid, more afraid than I had ever been before, I felt a twang of jealousy; their love was going to be killed. That's when I knew that Link was in love with her, too. I shed a tear then, a tear for Penny, the girl that held the world on her shoulders. She was completely defenseless; her powers and her weapons stripped from her. Then I remembered something. She wasn't weaponless. I thought back to the day when we got our dressed and our weapons. She wanted fire, so I gave her my favorite thing.

My Zip-o!

"PENNY!" I screamed. "PENNY! THE LIGHTER!" Things went into slow motion again. She reached behind her, and pulled out the lighter. I held my breath, hoping that the small amount of hope for the world wouldn't slip through our fingers. She flipped the top, started a flame, and threw it at Ganondorf. It caught the cloth in his suit, and soon his hair and his cape were in flames. Speed picked up normally as he began to scream. Penny jumped up as Ganondorf fell, and grabbed her sword. In one swift movement, she drove the sword straight through his heart. The screams stopped, and the smell of burning flesh began to sting everyone's sinuses. Penny held her sword high in the air, and the crowd began to cheer. 

Link and Legolas raced to Penny, smothering her with kisses and hugs. I sprinted after them, pushed them down, and then jumped on Penny.

"Holy shit girl, you did it!" I cried, squeezing her. Penny smiled. I could tell she was exhausted. I felt hands pushing me aside, and Link and Legolas picked Penny up and placed her on their shoulders. The crowd was cheering, and the world was saved. Although I was surrounded by hundreds of people, I had never felt so alone before.

*Legolas* 

I looked up at my angel, who was sitting up strong even though she had just experienced the fight of her life. I joined in the cheers "Hail Penny! Hail Penny!" and paraded around the land with the crowd. We marched all the way to Hyrule Castle, where Princess Zelda met us at the drawbridge.

"Silence, people, silence!" Zelda shouted, and the crowd obeyed. Link and I placed Penny down in front of Zelda, and she stood there, head held high. "On behalf of the Castle, the people of Hyrule, and the world, I thank you, Penny the Brave, for defeating Ganondorf and saving the land!" The crowd cheered again, and I looked at Penny. She was smiling, and waved to the people. "We owe our allegiance to you," Zelda said. "Please," she insisted, bowing on one knee to Penny, "you must understand this. I need the three necklaces back."

"The necklaces?" Penny asked, clutching them in her hands.

"Yes. They need to be returned to the Goddesses. Order will be restored to the land if they receive their necklaces. Please, Penny, you understand, correct?" Penny sighed, and nodded.

"Here. Take care of them," she said, and handed them to Zelda.

"They will rest in the Temple of Time until the Goddesses take them. Please, trust us," Zelda said. Penny nodded in understanding.

"Now what?" she asked.

"Come join us in a celebration!" Zelda cried. I couldn't have been more proud of my girl. Zelda stood up, and called to the crowd. "Celebration in the ballroom. Everyone, come!" And with that, the people began pouring into the castle. Penny turned around and smiled at Link, Hillary, and I. I picked her, up, and kissed her passionately.

*Link*

I watched Legolas and Penny embrace eachother, then looked over at Hillary. She had a distant look in her eyes, and wasn't focusing in on the situation at hand. I looked over at Penny, who's hands were entwined with Legolas's. She was smiling, and I knew at that minute that I was in love with her. She was with someone else, but I couldn't deny my feelings any longer. I loved her, and I knew she loved me but not in the way that she loved Legolas. I loved her with all my heart and soul, more than I loved Hillary. Oh shit, Hillary. I looked over at her, and she was crying, looking at me, like she heard what I was thinking. 

"Hill...I..." I said, advancing towards her slowly. She backed away, and covered her mouth with her hand. "Hillary...I...you don't understand!"

"Oh I understand perfectly. And you know what? I'm okay with it! I don't need this, or you. Sure, you loved me, and I sure as hell loved you, but I wasn't what you wanted, I was only second best. That's what I've always been. Second best. But unlike some people, I've come to accept it. And I will live with it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, supposedly. Link, you almost killed me just now. But I will pick up with my life and move on."

"Hillary?!" Penny asked, moving towards her. "What's wrong?" Hillary shut her eyes and looked over at Penny and Legolas.

"Link is in love with you."

Legolas looked at me, and his eyes clouded over with anger and hatred. 

"Is this true?" Penny asked quietly. 

"Yes, it is true," I said slowly. I dropped to my knees.

"Link, I'm in love with Legolas. I cannot be with you as well," she said calmly. And although I understood this completely, I could not help but feel like I was thrown into a brick wall.

"I...I know..." I said solemnly.

"You loved Hillary," Legolas said angrily. "That's why she's upset, and I don't know whether or not to be more angry with that or with the fact that you love my woman." I gritted my teeth together, and looked up at them. Our group was falling apart.

"This is ridiculous," Hillary said, walking quickly towards me. She took my hand and helped me stand up. "Let's not let love get in the way of what really matters here, our friendship. I can forgive you Link, if everyone else will. I'll move on, and so will you. I'll go back to my old life, and you will too." She released my hand. For some strange reason, I knew that it was time for them to leave.

"Link, you belong here, in Hyrule. Your job is to protect the people," Penny said softly, smiling at me. She took my hand and kissed my cheek. "We all love you and will never forget you. But the Goddesses are telling me it's time to leave." I turned around, and the same door that I saw them come out of was there, glowing in the setting sunlight.

"Goodbye, Link," Hillary said, and smiled at me. She stepped through the door, and that was the last I ever saw of her again. Legolas extended his hand, and I shook it gratefully.

"Thank-you, Link. May you be blessed in the future." I looked over. It was Penny's turn to say goodbye. I felt a tear burn its way down my cheek.

"Goodbye, Link," she said, hugging me again. And I watched them step through the doorway together, never to be seen in my eyes again.

BOOOOOO HOOOOOOO THEIR ADVENTURE IN HYRULE IS OVER!!! Well now that was depressing, wasn't it? Well, you won't be depressed when you find out what happens to them next! Muahahahahahaahaa!! *coughing fit* ahahahaa! Catch you all on the flip side!

~WickedOne


	16. Chapter 16

Hello children. Here I come again in glory with another amazing chapter! Nooooooot. Ok, I'm so sorry. . . . . .I can't just leave Link like that. . . .poor darling! Oh yes, and thank you very much to Mercies Angel for the translations I use later on ^_^ (Would appreciate some more too, lol)

*Storm*

~Now known as Argentium Silverwing~

Disclaimer : Hello! I'm your official disclaimer, and today, we will be making it clear that Penny owns NOTHING!

Penny : That's unfair, no one loves me!

Legolas : I love you

Link : I do too!

Penny : Shut your trap!

Link : Sowwee….Insert audience Aaaww!!!

Legolas : Humph……she's mine

Link : Hey! There's a turkey over there {Heavenly choir : ALLELUIA! ALLELUIA!}

Penny : *Singing* Oh Linky, you came and you found me a turkey!

Legolas : Riiight, can we get on with this now?

Penny : Yes…quite….sorry. 

Link

It was impossible, watching them walk towards the gateway. I just couldn't bear it, a choke escaped from me. I wanted to go with them, they were the best friends I'd ever had and ever would have, I couldn't let them go, without them. . . . . . Hyrule sucked! Ganondorf was dead, they didn't need the necklaces. Zelda had left them on a table, bit stupid, anyone could of grabbed them. . . . I did. 

Putting them on, I ran, faster than ever before with the power of these jewels. Then I just suddenly took off, soaring just above the ground. . . . They were stepping through. . . . . and it was begging to close! NO! Must reach!!! 

I gritted my teeth, pushing myself to the limit. It was just closing as I crashed to the ground and managed to grab an ankle. A great sucking force pulled me in, as whoever owned the ankle yelled out. I think it was Penny. At least I was with them though. 

The four of us drifted through the rifts of time and space, nothing but darkness, stars and flashes of red and green and blue. My form was shifting, about four shadows of me blurred around me, to behind and two in front. The two in front showing what I'd be doing in 2 seconds and 1 second, and the ones behind showing with I'd done 1 second ago, and 2 seconds ago. It was so bizarre.  

I was a bit behind the group, frozen, semi-opaque images of my friends stood like a photograph, showing what they'd been doing at the point. 

Finally with a sound like tiny bells we neared a bright light, Penny had turned and saw me and was grinning like a lunatic, although I was having difficult deciding which one of her forms was the real her. All were too beautiful. . . With a great whooshing noise, the light engulfed us and we were spiralling down. I could hear birds, a river. . . . . Where were we landing?

Penny

Oh my God!!! Link followed us! I was happy, because Link was my friend, but worried, that he might hit on me. Well, I'd deal with it when It happened, right now I was dying to show the guys our world. With a sounds like a zipper being done up we were falling through the air and landed in a heap in some woodland. 

Hillary leapt up. "WE'RE HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--..". She stopped mid sentence. "I don't think we're in Kansas Toto. . . . LINK!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!?!?", she screeched, marching over to him. 

Link rubbed his head and looked up guiltily, "I…..I can explain!".

She gasped. "You stole the necklaces!".

"No, really….Hill….I can explain".

"Link…you really are……", Legolas grinned, shaking his head. I giggled. "Well I understand, we're his only friends in the Universe and we abandoned him!".

"Yes! Exactly!", He said, before Hillary grabbed his collar and shoved her face in front of his. "That, Linky-boy, still does not answer, why you stole the necklaces back". 

"They don't need them! And I wanted to use them to catch up with you and….", he looked at me. "Penny had hers before all this happened, and I know how hard it is to lose something that has been in your possession for a long time….".

"Well…..seeing as we are definitely not on earth, they might come in useful, Hell knows where we are and what might be out there". Hillary said fearfully. 

"I must be Hell! I know where we are!", Said Legolas Happily…..Ha ha….funny joke. 

"Sure, go on Mr. Hell Please enlighten us!". Link said with a grin.

"We're in Middle earth! My home!". Legolas said happily. I grinned, Link looked blank and Hillary went crazy. 

"HOBBITS!!!!!", she screeched, leaping to her feet. We heard a rustling and span around. I tall, slender woman was approaching us.

"Mae Govannen, Arwen!", Legolas said happily. Arwen? Really? I stared in awe, she looked just like Liv Tyler, it was amazing. 

"Legolas, where have you been? The court of Elrond is waiting for you………who are these people?", she asked looking at us. Legolas smiled.

"Arwen, it's too hard to explain how we met, but these people are my best friends….and in some cases a little more than that", he said, with a glance at me. I blushed, and Arwen looked at me with a knowing smile. 

"Well, go to see the council Legolas, they need you to discuss important matters".

"The ring…", Hillary whispered. Link looked at her. 

"What about a ring?", he asked. 

"Oh uh….nothing", Hillary grinned at him, loving the fact that she knew something he didn't. He looked a bit miffed and shrugged. 

"They'll probably give you rooms to stay in", Legolas said. "Just go with Arwen, I'll be back soon". Legolas then went over to Arwen and whispered something in her ear. Arwen looked at me and giggled, I knew Legolas was saying something about me. He walked off, not after blowing a kiss to me of course! Oooh! I feel so loved!

Arwen smiled. "Please, come this way, we will give you chambers before you leave, as you might be leaving tomorrow". She lead us out of the glade and towards the gushing elfin river and Rivendel. The beautiful buildings where surrounded by nature, making them all the more beautiful, as autumn leaves twirled down, giving it a magical feel. 

We entered one of the buildings, walking past a large painting on the wall, showing a man holding a broken sword up to a demon. I looked to the other side of me, and saw the sword from the picture, lying on a platform. It was exactly like the film, apart from the parts of Rivendel I'd never seen before, but the style was the same, and exquisitely beautiful. 

Hillary was lead off to a room, Link lead to one next to her, but I was lead up a winding, wooden staircase to an oak door. Arwen opened it and I was in a light and airy room with a large double bed, and angel at the head, spreading her wings as a sort of netting over the pillows. I knew what a double bed meant, as Arwen left me, giggling quietly. I went out onto the balcony, and looked down. I could see elves, dwarves, men, Gandalf and Frodo and Elrond in a circle, beneath some trees, across a bridge from the building where I was. It was the council, and I wasn't going to miss it. I was going to be in that fellowship whether they liked it or not. 

I ran down to Link's room and knocked on the door, Link opened it and looked at me. "Link come on! Follow me!!!". I yelled, grabbing his hand. I sprinted down the corridor to Hillary's room and hammered on her door. She peeked around but I grabbed her too. "Come on, come on!", I urged. "We're going to the council and we're going to be in the fellowship!!". 

Hillary agreed, Link looked highly confused, but followed us none the less. We raced outside and across the bridge. I hid behind a pillar and looked towards the circle of men which had stood and began to argue. I looked over and saw two hobbits. It was Merry and Pippin hiding behind another pillar next to us. I saw Pippin's eyes practically popping out at the sight of Hillary and I giggled. 

"Guys! What's going on?", I whispered to them. They looked a bit scared, but Merry piped up. "They're talking about that ring that Frodo had!". Pippin was still staring at Hill, who was staring back at him. I giggled. 

I looked over, and Aragorn had stepped up and was swearing his allegiance to Frodo, now the ring bearer. Slowly everyone in the fellowship, stepped up and swore themselves to Frodo including my sexy elf prince, Legolas. We saw Sam run out and towards the group, adding himself in, Elrond looked quite miffed about this. Then I ran out. "I'm coming too!!", I yelled leaping into the circle. Every man there looked and stared at me, wondering who the hell I was. Hillary and Link leapt in too. Legolas was trying very hard not to laugh. Elrond looked absolutely irate. Pippin and Merry soon joined, laughing happily. 

"And WHO on middle earth are YOU?", he yelled at me. I grinned, and shook his hand. "I'm Penny", I said with a broad grin. He was shocked at first, and then pulled his hand away violently. Most of the dwarves in the council started to chuckle loudly.

"What have you got to offer the ring bearer", he said,  motioning to frodo. I looked down at the little hobbit and smiled. "Support, Friendship and the power of these Jewels", I said, motioning to the necklace I wore. He looked unimpressed, but sighed and moved on to Hillary. 

"And who do you think you are?".

"I think I'm Hillary the great and almighty, but now you ask, I'm not sure". The hobbits and dwarves roared with laughter. Elrond did not look moved, and turned to Link. 

"And you?", he said with a stony glare. 

"Link of Hyrule, Hero of Time", Link said Seriously, the master sword gleamed from it's hilt, almost daring anyone to not take him seriously. There was a respected silence. Elrond sighed, "Fine, it will be a perilous journey, many may lose their lives, but you will save the fate of this land. You are the Fellowship of the Ring".

I felt extremely proud and smiled. I was part of the legendary Fellowship.

Legolas

That evening me and Penny sat in our room, she sat on the edge of the large double bed looking extremely pleased with herself. We'd been arguing, and she'd just won, so I was pretending to tidy, but sulking really. And she knew it perfectly well. 

"I still don't think it's a good idea, you could get hurt, or even worse killed!". I exclaimed. She wasn't having any of it.

"Rubbish, I know everything that is going to happen!", She said proudly.

I shook my head. How little did I know how right she was. I walked over and sat down beside her, a warm breeze filtered in through the half open doors, leading out onto the small balcony. I was looking straight ahead, but I felt a hand gently massaging my shoulders, I sighed and relaxed. As soon as Penny had seen I wasn't alert, she pinned me down and clambered on top of me.

"Hey Handsome", she said, deepening her voice and smiling seductively. I was still pretty annoyed with her so didn't respond……until she leaned down and began to caress my cheek with her soft lips. I let out a small sigh, and tried to stop myself but she's already heard and looked at me, grinning. She rolled off and rested on the pillow. "I win again", she said happily. 

Ok….She's really got me going, I wasn't missing this chance. I pounced on her and began to kiss her neck, thanking the heavens for off the shoulder dresses. 

Link

I leafed through the maps and books Legolas had given me about the world we were in, and munched on something rather like and apple. I was reading the book, and every so often had to swap over to the map and locate the place I was reading about on it. Taking another bite of the fruit and held up the parchment to the light and tried to locate Rohan. 

I jumped as I heard a noise, someone was in pain? Another noise came, and I found it hard to swallow. There was an unearthly moan coming from the room above me. 

"Let me guess, I'm directly below Legolas and Penny", I mumbled. Running out of the room before another groan could make me hurl.

I wandered down and found Hillary's door, and knocked. She opened. "Hey Link, wassup?". She asked me.

"I have a room below the lovers and they're…".

"Oh goodness, you poor thing!", said Hillary, pitifully. She ushered me in and I sat down to be met by Merry and Pippin.

"Hello again Link!", said Pippin cheerily. I smiled, greeting him also. 

"We were all just talking about the quest, and the ring". Hillary explained.

Merry nodded. "I'm just hoping we won't run out of food!!", Pippin piped up. 

Hillary laughed. Pippin looked at her. . . . . and continued to stare for quite some time. I felt slightly jealous, but she'd let me go, and I couldn't do anything about that. Besides, she knew I liked Penny, although that was a bit pointless because she had Legolas and obviously loved him to pieces. I knew Penny better than I even thought, and I knew that she'd never ever sleep with a man unless she was 100% sure she loved him.

We talked for some time, discussing random things, I was asking where most landmarks I'd read about were, but the "Hobbits" or whatever they were called, didn't really know because they'd only ever been in the shire, although they ventured out every so often to steal food from the farmers. In fact, that was how they'd got in this mess. 

"Well, I was minding my own business, when I found penny holding my horse". I said, explaining, how I had got in this mess. Hillary grinned at Pippin, and he smiled back. Merry looked at them, then at me, and began to chuckle. 

"Pippin, I think we better go now, it's late and we have an adventure to start."

"Just a little while longer, please", the hobbit begged his friend. 

Merry eventually coaxed him out after I said "Don't worry, she'll still be here tomorrow."

Hillary had given me death stare of the century but I still found it funny. 

Eventually, after a long conversation about monsters, I went back to my room, all was silent and so I cleared all the maps and books off my bed. I was soon fast asleep, dreaming of things unmentionable seeing as this is a Kid's story. Ok so I'm kidding, I was dreaming about a pickle sandwich which spoke fluent goron. 

Legolas

I awoke the next morning, sunlight in my face. Penny was wrapped in my arms, wearing nothing. Then I realised I was also wearing nothing, and it was cold. I had to make a break for my clothes, because the floor was freezing. 1, 2, 3. . . 

"YEE!" I yelled the elfish for "Eek" as my foot touched the freezing cold stone and I made a mad flail for my tunic. I somehow succeeded and got dressed quickly. I heard a giggling and turned around.

"That was most enjoyable Legolas" Penny smirked. I rolled my eyes and bent down to kiss her. 

"Get dressed, we'll have to leave soon" I whispered in her ear…………her ear……….HER EAR!!

"YOUR EAR!" I leapt backwards. But, then it was gone, I must have been imagining. Penny was panicking now, and grabbing her lobe desperately.

"Sorry, love. I must have been seeing things, I swear it was pointed for a moment back there". I said apologetically. She shrugged and got up. For the third time that morning I leapt up, she was so tall, and slender all of a sudden. I mean.. . . . . she always had been but. . . . . Again, I shook it off.

When she was ready, Penny and I made our way downstairs. Link came out of his door at the same time, he grinned at us. 

"Hey there lovebirds, get some last night?".

"Auta miqula yrch", Penny muttered, walking by him. If I hadn't been in total hysterics, I would have been shocked, I didn't know Penny spoke Elfish. 

"What the hell did she just say to me" Link demanded as I tried to support myself against the wall. 

"She just told you to go and kiss an Orc", I chuckled. Link did not look impressed. "Anyway, we're meeting outside soon to head off Link, so can you get Hillary, I'll go and find the Hobbits with Penny." I walked away from him, still laughing. Little did I know Penny was undergoing some changes, and next door so was Hillary………….

~*~*~

Ok children, that chapter was based mostly on the movie because I really can't keep up with the book, so forgive if you are a strict book reading person! Bear with ok? ^_^;; And……………for all you proper elfish speakers out there, don't kill me if I got it wrong, it's good enough ok? Thank you. 

~ Storm/Argentium Silverwing


	17. Chapter 17

*Jumps into a massive snowdrift, hucks a snowball at you, and then sleds over.* Hey readers!! I know it's been a while but...life's a bit complicated right now and I'm doing the best I can. But this snowstorm we're getting lightened my mood!!! (Dude...I got out of my parents' Suburban today...big car up high...and the snow was up to the door in my driveway! Muahahahahaa! Just don't eat the yellow snow...)  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own anything except Penny and Hillary.  
  
*Hillary*  
When I awoke that morning, the clothes I was wearing were very loose, and when I stood up, the cloth that was hugging my body the night before (damn Elves..) was hanging off of me.   
"What in the hell is going on...am I losing weight?!" I screeched joyfully and ran in front of the mirror. I had shrunk a whole bit! Woohoo! "Praise the Lord!"   
"WAKE UP CALL!" Link shouted, stomping into my room.  
"Morning asshole, what if I was naked? Don't you knock?!" I barked, turning to face him. He knocked on the door obnoxiously.  
"Well, my gain," he said, grinning. I sighed and walked up to him. I began to push him out of the room, but he had another annoying comment to make.  
"Time to leave," I said gruffly.  
"Fine, Shorty," he said, smiling down at me. I looked up at him. He did look extremely tall today for some odd reason...I mean more than usual. "You do look short today, Hill..." Link said, a puzzled expression forming on his face.   
"I don't have shoes on, and you're wearing boots. Goodbye." I pushed him out and slammed the door. Funny, that doorknob seemed lower yesterday.  
  
After a quick bath, I walked back into the room and began to suit up. My clothes that the Elves had washed and mended for me were huge on me. I should have been worried, but I was too preoccupied over the fact that my waist was smaller. I made it outside when everyone else was joing together to start the preparations for departure. I got quite a few odd stares from some people, but it didn't affect me until I met up with Penny.  
"Hey Hillary--" She did a double-take. "HILLARY!" I cringed.  
"Morning?" I said somewhat cheerfully.  
"Holy shit girl, what happened to you?" Legolas said, joining Penny in her staring.  
"I told you she looked smaller," Link said, crossing his arms. I glared up at all of them.  
"You're crazy. The Elven servants must have stretched my clothes out a bit when they washed them. That's all," I said, crossing my arms and pouting.  
"And this one's grown a foot!" Link cried, referring to Penny. Penny shrugged.   
"I haven't changed a bit," she declared assertively. Penny tucked her hair behind her ears, and as I watched her, I began to become nervous.   
"POINTY!" I screamed, stumbing backwards, right into Pippin. He caught me, surprisingly. And he and the rest of the Hobbits looked taller. What's going on here?!  
"WHAT?!" Penny screamed in reply.   
"Pointy...ears..." I mumbled, regaining my balance. Pippin didn't let go of my arm, though. He was so Goddamned cute...  
"Funny, Legolas said the same thing this morning," Penny said, grasping her ears. They were normal shaped again.  
"You gunna hold her hand now, Pippin?" Merry asked loudly. Penny, Legolas, and Link snickered as I turned and looked down at Pippin. He had a far-off look in his eyes.  
"I kinda need my arm back, Pip..." I said softly, and as sweetly as possible. The four of them laughed this time.  
"Oh, sorry, here!" Pippin said, blushing, and shoving my arm into my opposite hand. Just then Aragorn came up behind Link and Legolas and slammed his hands down on their shoulders. They both jumped a mile.  
"Ready to go, all?" he asked, eyes twinkling a bit.   
"I'd do him," I whispered to Penny, who smiled and nodded. We were soon packed up and on our way out of Rivendell.   
  
*Legolas*  
Man did it feel good to be back home again. Middle-Earth has some feeling about it, some comfort to it. It could have been that I was in Rivendell, with my people...or it could have been that Penny's hand was linked with mine and I could feel her heat radiating onto me. Any or all of those combinations of things contributed to my overall good mood.  
  
"We do not stop until nightfall," Gandalf said when we were at a considerable distance from Rivendell. "And always be on your guard. You never know what may be out there, what's lurking in the shadows. Be extra sure to watch for Orcs," he said.  
"Yeah I'll watch for them...if they're delivering a pizza!" Penny said, sending Hillary and herself into hysterics. Everyone turned and stared, and Gandalf grumbled and rolled his eyes.  
"Good one, Penz," Hill said, patting her on the shoulder. Hillary abruptly took a step, and tripped on her dress that was now dragging on the ground. She hit the ground with a loud _thud, _face down. People around her began to crack up.  
"Ow," she said, and pushed herself up.  
"Your grace," I said, walking around her. Penny grabbed her hand and hoisted her up in one quick movement. Okay, Penny's extremely gracefull and strong and Hillary's short and falling down. ((Heh..I'm a poet and I didn't know it!)) Usually they both had all of those qualities mixed together...but Penny seemed to be...and Hillary reminded me of...Nah! It couldn't be!  
Could it?  
"Hill...you're a mess...look at you!" Penny scolded. Hill's cheeks were covered with dirt, and so was her dress. She brushed it off as best she could, and then looked up at Penny. Penny was radiating beauty and cleanliness...  
"Ahh!" Hillary exclaimed, jumping up and down in a fit of anger. "It's not fair! It's not fair! Aargh!!!" I looked on ahead, and we were quite a bit back from the rest of the fellowship. Only Penny, Pippin, Merry, and I lingered behind to stay with the fuming redhead.  
"S'alright Hill, Pippin falls down all the time," Merry said, patting her shoulder and continuing on after the rest of the Fellowship.  
"Do not!" Pippin shouted, slipping a bit on a log he was standing on to be eye-level with Hill. The girls laughed, and Hillary yanked Pippin off and ran after Merry with him on her tail. That left Penny and I behind, alone. Thank the Gods.  
"I suppose we should get going now," I said, looking over at her. She approached me, grinning seductively.  
"We can catch up," she said, backing me into a tree.  
"But we should--" Penny's hot mouth was on top of mine, and we were quickly engaged in a heavy makeout session. A few minutes later, we heard a rustling behind us.  
"Oooooooooooh!" That was a Hobbit.  
"Shame shame!" Pippin cried.  
"We know your name!" Merry added. I cringed, and turned around to the faces of the entire Fellowship. Gandalf looked pissed.  
"Heh heh, um...hey all!" Penny said, smiling. Phew, she saved my skinny ass.  
"WHAT ((dramatic pause)) do you two think you're doing?" Gandalf said, his voice booming throughout the wood.  
"Sorry sir, let's be on our way!" Penny replied, grabbing my hand as the party merged into motion again.  
"There'll be no hanky-panky in THIS Fellowship!" I heard Merry exclaim behind Penny and I.  
"What, like there are other fellowships out there, Merry?" Pippin replied.  
"There could be!" Merry retorted.  
"Yeah, there'll be no hanky-panky in this Fellowship unless you're in it, right Merry?" I turned, and there were bemused looks on both of the Hobbit's mugs.  
"Well if that one keeps on shrinking," Merry said, pointing up to where Hillary was, "there might be some!" Penny began giggling, and turned to walk with them. I knew she wouldn't pass putting a snide remark into a conversation like this one. It just wasn't like her.  
"I heard that, Merry," Penny said casually, grinning evily.  
"It wasn't me, it was Pippin that said that!" Merry replied hastily.  
"Pippin! I'm shocked!" Penny exclaimed, faking astonishment.  
"It wasn't me! Would you stop trying to get me in trouble, Merry?" Pippin asked, pushing his friend.  
"You wouldn't be in trouble," Penny said, "Hillary's actually single...and looking..." There was a brief period of silence between the two Hobbits.  
"She's mine," Merry said in a low voice, getting ready to sprint ahead to where Hillary was.  
"I saw her first!" Pippin cried, pulling Merry down and racing ahead of him. Penny turned to me, smiling.  
"How do you do it?!" I asked in disbelief. She shrugged.  
"It's just one of my many talents," she replied.   
"That's definitely not your best talent, and I would know about that best talent..." I said, smirking.  
"Alright, that's enough outta you, let's catch up with them before they get angry...again..." I grabbed her hand and we raced after the rest of the Fellowship. We went to the front, because I was supposed to be the eyes and the ears of the group. Too bad I wasn't thinking much about the mission...  
  
*Link*  
I had begun to understand a bit more of what we were doing after talking to Aragorn for a while.  
"So basically, if your great-great-great...whatever guy destroyed the Ring, we..." I said.  
"We wouldn't be here right now. But that weakness in him led to the downfall of the race of Men, and allowed evil to endure," Aragorn said, his face still showing no change in expression. "That same weakness flows through my veins," he said solemnly. I looked over at the man. His expression _still _hadn't changed. Sheesh. I turned around, and Hill was behind me, surrounded by Hobbits. She was in all her glory; her smile flashed frequently and her flirt mode was on. She looked smaller than the last time I had really looked at her, which had been an hour ago. She had to hold up her dress off the ground to walk, the sleeves were hanging off her arms, and it drooped off her shoulders. I couldn't help but smile; after all I had put her through, she was truly happy again.  
  
I turned my gaze back ahead of me and Penny and Legolas were leading the troops, two lovebirds with their arms wrapped around eachother, completely oblivious to anyone but eachother. It was kinda sickening, but I was really happy for the both of them. I watched Penny laugh...she just got more and more beautiful as each precious second I saw her pass. It was unfair that I couldn't have her. And it was unfair that there weren't any other chicks in this Fellowship. Maybe I should just get it all over with and turn gay. OKAY, just kidding...I looked over to the right of me and the dwarf, Gimli, was walking there, grumbling to himself. I decided to heckle him, even though he called me "Freak Elf-Boy" before.  
  
*Hillary...later that night*   
Man, my feet were KILLING me! We had been walking ALL DAMN DAY LONG! So it was a major relief to me when Aragorn and Gandalf found a relatively safe place for us to rest for the night. I had been surrounded by hobbits all day, which I particularly enjoyed, cause I kinda (goin' Brit-speak here) fancy them in an odd, odd way. Especially Merry and Pippin...those two crack me up.  
  
Well anywho, we all plopped down in random spots, and Gimli (that guy's the man!!) volunteered to be the first watchman of the night. I clapped my hands for him, (and recieved some strange stares from Boromir and Gandalf), not just because he volunteered, but because he's Gimli! C'mon, you gotta have a soft spot for Gimli! Well anyways, I sadly watched Penny and Legolas disappear behind a huge-ass tree for the night.  
"NO HANKY-PANKY!" Merry screamed at them. Pippin and I cracked up, and I could hear Lego and Penz laughing from behind the tree, too. I hadn't set up my sleeping bag anywhere yet (it wasn't a sleeping bag really, but I liked to imagine it was...) and I noticed that there was about a foot of space between Merry and Pippin. So, being the dirty-ass girl that I am, I gently placed the blanket down there, and laid inbetween them.  
"I am so incredible tired right now...and HUNGRY! Good GOD am I hungry!" I said out loud to the quieting Fellowship. I heard Gandalf grumble in the distance. "I'll get you, Gandalf," I said out loud, and I FINALLY heard the geezer chuckle. Merry and Pippin laughed too, and sat up immediately when I get inbetween them.  
"You hungry?" Pippin asked.  
"Yeah...I kinda ate all my rations for today all at once..." I said sheepishly, blushing a bit.   
"Pippin does that all the time," Merry said, a mischevious grin forming on his face. I smiled at Pippin, and he shrugged.  
"I was so disappointed when Aragorn first wouldn't let us stop to eat," Pippin said to me. "We had only eaten one breakfast!"  
"Only one?!" I asked.  
"Yeah. I tried to explain to them about breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper...but NO!!!!! 'We don't stop till nightfall,'" he said, imitating Aragorn's voice. "It's like being in a frickin' restaurant watching other people eat. You know the food's there, but you can't have any of it! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. Very frustrating." By the time he was finished with his rant, I was in hysterics. I was coughing because I was laughing so hard, but Merry managed to fall asleep during the middle of it.  
"WOULD YOU HOBBITS BE QUIET?!" Gandalf screamed. "You need to sleep!" Pippin and I laid down immediately, smacking our heads together as we did it. We had to suppress our laughter so we wouldn't get in trouble again. We actually snuggled under the same blanket for comfort, and gazed up at the stars together. I fell asleep to the sound of our synchronized breathing and the rhythm of his heart.  
  
*the next morning, dun dun dunnnnnn*  
  
When I opened my eyes, everyone was standing over me. I began to get nervous when I saw Penny's distressed face hovering over mine. I looked around, and Merry and Pippin were grinning like Cheshire cats. I was afraid to look at what they were looking at...myself. I looked down, and my body was completely lost in yards of fabric. Fabric that was familiar to me...the dress we bought in Hyrule...ehhhhh!!!!!!  
"Move it mister! Move move move! Let her up!" Penny said, pushing the guys aside. She took my hand and helped me to stand up. I was half her size. Half her size. _Half her size!_  
"PENNYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, bursting into tears. She knelt down and hugged me.   
"Hill, you're not the only one that's changed. Look." She tucked her hair behind her ears, to reveal the pointy ears I knew I saw yesterday.  
"You're a...an..." I said, looking up at her. She was glowing. "An Elf."  
"Half-Elf, actually," Aragorn said, kneeling down to my eye level. "And you're half-Hobbit, I'm afraid." A Hobbit?! This was wonderful and devastating news to my ears. Wonderful cause of Merry and Pippin...devastating because I'm a fricking four-foot NOTHING!!!  
  
I backed up from them all, and my dress almost fell off completely. I screeched, and turned about six different shades of red. Penny helped me turn it into a makeshift...thing...by ripping it here and tying it there...she was so graceful and quick-minded...ohh the jealousy was almost too much to bear. Good thing I loved her like a sister.  
  
Well, to make a long story short, we had to go allllllll the way back to Rivendell to get me re-suited and such. And Gandalf forgot his walking stick there, so we made the long trip back together. I could tell half the Fellowship was pissed, and I was pissed, but not much I could do. I was a Hobbit now. Better make the most of it.  
  
  
Holy crap it's done!!! *glee* Alright I'm tired as hell so bye peeps, and thanks for reading!!!


	18. Chapter 18

Well, I hope you chickadees are up for a celebration because I AM BACK!!!! YAY!!! God I missed you, and this story. Well I guess I better get on with it, although I'm dying from a headache!! Ok! Here goes!

~*~*~

Penny

Well, to cut a long story short, Hillary and I and the rest of the fellowship had to travel back to Rivendel to get the new hobbit a dress. We got her a very pretty sky blue one in preference to a buttercup yellow, and practically sprinted all the way back to where we had had to turn around. 

Now back on our trail, me and Hillary scouted ahead of the group, promising that we'd actually try to be sensible and do something useful instead of distracting Legolas and the hobbits the whole time. 

The scenery was beautiful, rolling green for as far as the eye could see, only broken by the deeper green of the forest and the tall grey of the mountains. It was such a relief from the normal world, where you'd look out and see a great hunk of city sprawled around, just ruining everything. 

Reaching a nice flat spot halfway up one of the mountain foothills, we came across a lump of large white rocks arranged around nicely. "This looks like a nice place to stop," commented the now two feet shorter than me Hillary. I giggled to myself, Hillary the Hobbit, classic really. "What's so funny?" she demanded. 

"Nothing!" I lied. Penny the Elf, wow. . . . . . . . poetic I think not. Penelope the elf maybe . . . . Jasmine the Elf, eh. . . . . Elorra Dannen the Elf, now that was nice. Maybe I'll change my name. 

"Hey! You guys! Up here, we can stop here, it looks a good place," Hillary urged the group on up the hill. The light-footed Legolas reached us first and approached me, but Gandalf came thudding up close behind him, Legolas had to divert his route but smiled at me. Link skipped up like a 5 year old girl. I gave him a withering look. 

"What?" he asked me. 

"What do you mean what!? What kind of stupid way is that to act on a mission to save the world!?"

"Better than averting the eyes and ears of the group, namely Legolas!" He retorted. I growled and kept my mouth shut. Boromir passed us and chuckled, before moving over to Merry and Pippin who he began to talk to. Hillary joined them as well. I felt a bit peeved and talking to people wasn't the solution at the moment. I climbed one of the rocks and looked out across the valleys.  

Below me, Gimli lit a pipe and sat back calmly. Legolas was leaping about between some rocks, checking here and there for any spies or possible food source. I found a great sense of belonging in this land, it was strangely comforting. My new Elfish features were the biggest bonus yet. Peaks of far off mountains were as sharp as a razor edge in my improved vision. Legolas seemed very interested by a black cloud hovering on the horizon; his face was a picture of concern. 

Actually, now I come to think about it, this cloud was just asking to be suspected, bright blue sky, for miles around, black cloud smack bang in the middle. Ooh! Subtle. Suddenly, scenes from the movie, fellowship of the ring came flooding back to me. With my new gymnastic skill I leapt gracefully over to Legolas.

"Those are Saruman's spies, we have to take cover!" I warned him desperately. Beneath us, the hobbits had begun to swarm over Boromir who was laughing merrily as they tried to overthrow him. "Mutiny!" Hillary cried out, taking his shield and running around with it. 

Legolas alerted Gandalf who ordered the fellowship to take cover. I dove into a bush, abruptly followed by Legolas. "Fancy meeting you in the same bush that I chose." He said with a grin.

"Hmm, large coincidence that," I giggled, but stopped when I heard the chilling cry of the birds. I huddled down, trying to stay as still as possible, it really was far scarier than it would seem. They swooped down so close, flowing over the rocks like a manic, black flying river. 

 When they'd gone, the braver members of the fellowship began to emerge. Aragorn and Gandalf began to discuss furiously about passages we should take. Gimli suggested the mines of Moria. Gandalf was having none of that. I knew perfectly well that we'd eventually have to travel through them, but I didn't much fancy it, so I hoped with all I could muster that we would make it over the mountains.

"Where are those blasted Elves? If I find them in the same bush together, I'll cut down their rations for a week!" Gandalf frowned and looked around/ 

I knew that pippin would be extremely happy if they found us, because that meant more food for him, I quickly somersaulted in the opposite direction from Legolas and crawled out from under a rock. 

"What would make you think I'd be guilty of such a thing Gandalf?" I said, emerging with a smug smile. 

"That's it, less rations for you young she-elf." Gandalf said. I growled and said nothing. Pippin cheered. 

"Hey Gandalf, you know, the mountain is really cold, maybe we should just go through the mines anyway, it saves a lot of ti-.." Before Hillary could finish, I sprinted over and clamped her mouth shut. 

"Hill! Don't say anything, we have to let everything be played out like it is, or it might change everything, having us plummeted into the story was bad enough but if we try not to change everything, the world will be saved!"

Everyone was staring at us now, trying to listen to what I was saying. "Carry on talking amongst yourselves children!"

"Now I get what you mean," Hillary said thoughtfully. "Ok, no more to be said."

Anyway, not much can be said apart from we tried to go up the mountain, but only me and Legolas could walk on the snow while the others waded through it. After an avalanche caused by Saruman, Frodo took the advice of Gimli and we turned back, making our way to the Entrance of the Mines. 

We finally reached it; the towering walls of rock surrounded a dark murky pool. I recognised it and shuddered. Hillary gave me a frightened glance. Gandalf was feeling along the stone with his fingertips and finally reached a spot.

Looking up at the sky, he traced around with his hand until the moon came out from behind a cloud. I gasped, the carving in the rock face shone with a celestial light, showing a door with writing over the top. 

"Speak friend and enter!" Hillary said with a grin. 

"Since WHEN did you speak Elfish?" I asked her. 

"Never. . . .I just remember that part." She said vaguely. Gandalf looked quite impressed but didn't say anything. He lifted up his staff and roared some strange sentence, "Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen! Fennas nogothrim, lasto beth lammen!" Nothing happened. I really couldn't be bothered to wait around any longer; Pippin was throwing stones into the water, despite a couple of warnings from Aragorn.

"Gandalf, sorry to interrupt, but the word you are looking for is Mellon!" As I said it the doors opened. The fellowship stared at me open mouthed. I took a deep bow. "Thank you, Thank you very much!"

"Alright you cheeky girl, you may have your rations back." Gandalf said it sternly but there was a twinkle in his eyes. I grinned sweetly and we quickly went in. 

"It smells most strange in here . . ." Legolas muttered. Obviously, being a beautiful pure being, he wasn't used to the stench of death. Gandalf produced a light; the bodies practically seemed to jump up, in grotesque positions of painful death. Poorly crafted but deadly pointed arrows stuck out of empty eye sockets. 

Gimli's proud ramblings of a great hall and malt beer turned into a cry of sorrow and disgust. "This isn't a mine, it's a tomb," announced the ever optimistic Boromir. The fellowship began to panic and slowly back out. 

"No! Don't go back!" Hillary cried but it was too late. I suddenly saw Frodo fly up, a thick slimy tentacle entwined around his leg. Legolas and Aragorn practically flew into the attack, arrows streaking through the air, swords sweeping through tentacles. 

Then came me, and the ever more hobbit like Hillary. Hill grabbed the tentacle and started wresting with it; I stabbed another one making for her. My arm snaked out, dagger in hand and I slammed it in until the hilt stopped the blade. Black blood went all over my arm and I moaned. 

"If there were laundry bills in Middle Earth I'd owe a lot of money." 

Link was smacking the master sword into the creature's vine like extensions. "What the hell are laundry bills!?"

"LESS TALK! MORE FIGHT!" Aragorn screamed, taking charge. The ugly beast roared and showed its head. I ran, Hillary joined me. The men stayed and took care of it. 

Aragorn caught Frodo and zoomed in with him and the other two as with its last effort, the beast used its remaining tentacles to bring down the entrance. Again, Gandalf lit his staff with the stone and looked around at the company. 

"It's a long walk to the other side, about 3 days, we better get going."

So that's what we did, we kept pressing on for I do not know how long. When you're in the dark, you lose all track of time. We had to stop at one point, because Gandalf couldn't remember the way, neither could be or Hillary, so we just kept silent knowing everything would unfurl and planned. Finally, with the use of his nose Gandalf kept us going.

We entered the great hall. Everyone gasped and stared in awe at the towering pillars, and the sheer size of the room. . . . .If it could be called a room. I felt a hand grab my wrist and I was dragged around behind one of the pillars by Legolas. 

The next bit confused me, but I heard Gimli cry out, Gandalf yelled something about "Dratted Love birds!" and Link scooped me up and ran after Gimli. Random. . . 

We stood in the room where the tomb was. A shaft of pale light shone onto the solid stone sarcophagus. I bowed my head in respect, after being put down by Link of course. I new what would come very soon, and started edging the door shut best I could with my foot, without being noticed. My hand was glued to the hilt of my dagger. 

Gandalf began to read from a book, rather, a diary of someone who was trapped in the siege. We all listened in horrified silence, Pippin was staring with the light of fear in his eyes at a dead body propped on the side of a well. I knew what was coming but I couldn't stop it. His hand rose to the arrow, which snapped, the body swayed and as if in slow motion toppled backwards. A huge crash echoed through the cavernous tunnels of the mines. Pippin winced guiltily, as if the noise itself was biting him in the neck. 

"You fool of a took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!!!" Gandalf roared, taking back the things he'd given Pippin to hold. Suddenly, from deep within there was a loud booming. Then another, shortly followed by another, boom. . . . . . . .boom. . . . . . boom. . . . boom. . . .boom, boom, boom, boom, BOOM, BOOM. There was a cackling of orcs screams and hysterical laughter. There was not a suitable enough explanation of fear to describe the icy claw that gripped around my heart. 

Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn and Link worked on barricading the door. Gimli positioned himself on top of the stone coffin. Hillary and I stood either side of him, swords drawn; Gandalf and the hobbits were behind us. 

"They have a cave troll!" Boromir told us. Great confidence booster.

"Aaargh! Let them come!" Gimli growled, keen for the kill. We waited with baited breath, positions and ready. Aragorn and Legolas fried arrows with deadly accuracy into small gaps made by the orcs pounding on the doors. 

Without warning the doors gave in, and the orcs swarmed towards us, screaming and yelling in their garbled, disgusting language. The four Men were first on the attack; Gimli practically flew like a little Gimli-bird into the fray. Hillary and I looked at each other and nodded before screaming our heads off and launching into combat. 

Pippin looked at Merry. "You first!"

"Oh no, Pippin, I insist, youngest first!"

"No! Merry, Ladies first."

"Are you calling me a Lady!?"

"Yes!" Their small debate was cut short my some hooligan of an orc who looked like he was a heroin addict, hollering some obscene word and streaking towards them. 

The whole Fellowship was fighting now. My dress got spattered by the thick, inky black blood of one of the offending creatures and I went ballistic, sweeping my sword up and down, left and right, cutting a path through the sea of the bastards. 

"HOW MUCH IS THAT ORC IN THE WINDOW?" I sang.

"Which one?" Hillary replied, laughing, lopping off the arm of a goblin. 

"The One with the bald, ugly head!" I giggled, stabbing through the chest of another. 

"Really? I'll give you, four dollars!"

"How much is that Orc in the window?" I repeated.

"I just told you!" Hillary spun around, and the other arm was off.

"I do hope that Orc will be dead!!!" I thrusted my sword through the stomach of one, and ripped up all the way to it's chin. 

Thudding was heard, the last of the orc were felled and through the battered doors came the cave troll. Me and Hillary stopped our stupid song and gaped up at it, wide-eyed.

We both started whimpering. "Girls! This is not the time to panic!" Link said forcefully.

"THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO PANIC!!" We yelled, just escaping being crushed by the huge club that hurtled down and smashed into the floor. How much worse could it get?

~*~*~

I am going to stop there. . . . .I'm sorry, frustrating isn't it!!! Phewy!! I'm finally finished yayness! Be happy! I go have nap! RIGHT NOW!! Oh yeah . . .Review or that cave troll will be a-knockin at your door!!! Lol!!


	19. Chapter 19

You'll have to excuse the long wait for this chapter. I've been busy as hell and haven't had time to sit and write. I can't wait for summer…then maybe we'll be able to finish this hella-long story. 

Disclaimer: We don't own LOTR, Zelda, etc. We do own, however, Penny and Hillary.

~*~*~

*Hillary*

Apparently, it could get a lot worse.  More orcs came pouring through the door after the troll. The troll went after poor Sam, who also had to duck under its massive body to escape being crushed. Sam got up, however, and started beating orcs left and right with his frying pan. Note to self: congratulate Sam after this is all over and buy him a new frying pan.

Penny and I were separated now, she was off by the door, decapitating every other orc that came in, opposite of Legolas, who was stabbing every orc that Penny didn't hit through the middle. They made a great team, a lethal team, the DYNAMIC DUO!! As these thoughts were running through my head, I didn't notice the swarm of orcs that were surrounding me. When my brain came back to me, I panicked, and shoved my sword into one of the disgusting creature's chest. It screamed, and as I pulled the blade back out, I noticed that I only had the hilt in my hand. It had broken in half!

"HELLLLLLLLP!!!!" I screeched. Luckily, Link was right by me, and he mowed them all down with two swipes of the Master Sword. "My hero," I cried, leaping at him. Damnit, he was so much taller than I. He grinned down at me as I let go of him, and I felt a spark…a spark in my heart…like when we were together. I shrugged it off and went back to killing orcs.

Legolas was on a ledge, above Penny, and then the troll came right between them. She had just sliced a goblin in three when the troll swung its chain at Legolas. He ducked it nimbly, and as it got caught around a pillar, he used the chain as a bridge to jump onto the troll's shoulders. He was able to keep his balance on the creature's back, and he fired an arrow straight into its skull just before jumping off. He landed gracefully on his feet, like a cat, and grinned at Penny, who's jaw had dropped. 

"You just get cooler every second. That was very switched-on, Legs," she said, and he kissed her quickly.

"Don't act so surprised, love," he replied, grinning and panting. Then the two ran out of the way of the troll heading in their direction.

Gimli could be heard above the rest for once, hollering and growling, and Boromir kept calling for Legolas and his bow. Friggin kill them yourself, I thought, and raced to a corner, hidden behind a pillar. I was pooped. Just rest for a minute…yeah, right. The other four hobbits joined me, and we just kinda stood there, panting, and then I tried to think to myself what happened next in the movie. Fighting…killing…genocide of orcs…troll…hobbits hiding…By the time I remembered, it was too late. The cave troll peeked its ugly head around the corner and roared at us. I was so scared, those disgusting black eyes looked at us all like pieces of its dinner, and I froze. It lifted up its club to kill us, and I felt myself being pulled to the side just as it came crashing down between us. Frodo was left alone, and we really couldn't do much about it. 

Sam and Merry and Pippin started chucking rocks at it, really anything they could get their hands on, and I whipped out my bow and arrow just for kicks. I drew one back and fired, and, surprisingly, it actually hit the thing. We bought Frodo enough time to try and hide, but it went after him anyways. Strider came by in the nick of time, thank God, and drove a spear through the troll's chest. It did little to stop him—the troll knocked Strider unconscious and it stabbed Frodo right in the chest. He fell down, and then my boys jumped on its back. Merry and Pippin delivered many blows to the beast with their swords, and as I ran to the center of the room, the troll was obviously being worn down. Penny and Gimli were hacking at its legs like no tomorrow while it was trying to get the hobbits of its back, and it managed to throw Merry off. I raced over to where he landed, and knelt down besides him.

"Hey, Miss Hillary," he said through a large grin. He was obviously dazed from being knocked down so hard. "Have I died and gone to heaven? Cause you're an--"

"Yeah yeah, c'mon, Merry, you can't rest yet, you have to fight still." And I helped him to his feet. He was still dazed, and still grinning.

We looked up, and Pippin delivered one last stab to the back of the troll's head. It howled in pain, and Legolas shot it in the face with an arrow. The troll gave one last moan, tottered forwards, and then fell down, dead. Pippin was flung from its back, right on top of Merry and I. After the shock of hitting the ground faded, Pippin lifted his head and looked at the both of us.

"Why, hello, Merry! Hello Hillary!" he said rather happily.

"Uh-oh, Hobbit love!" I heard Link exclaim across the room, followed by peels of laughter from Penny and Legolas.

"I think I've broken something," Merry said, struggling to sit up.

"Yeah, we've broken Pip's fall," I groaned, and he laughed. The three of us got to our feet, and I mumbled something inappropriate: "I hope that's not the last time I lay down with the two of you…" Both Merry and Pippin turned to me, and grinned. I blushed, and grinned back—they weren't supposed to hear that…

After Penny, Legolas, and Link stopped laughing, we all crowded together, because the last of the orcs had been killed. Strider had woken by this time, and he crawled over to Frodo, who looked quite dead.

"Oh no," Strider said, and turned Frodo over gently. Frodo gave a quick cough, and held his chest. He sat up, and looked around.

"I'm alright," he said, "I'm not hurt!" A sigh of relief flowed from all our mouths. 

"That spear would have skewered a wild boar!" Strider said, staring at Frodo in disbelief.

"I think there's more to this outfit than meets the eye," Gimli said, and Frodo revealed the mithril armor under his shirt.

"Nice boobs," I heard Penny whisper behind me, and she and I had to hide our laughter.

"You're full of surprises, Mr. Baggins," Gimli said, resting on his axe. The screams and hysteric laughter of orcs could be heard echoing in the distance.

"We have to keep moving! To the bridge of Khazad-Dum!" Gandalf cried, and we all filed out, running as fast as our legs could carry us. 

We got to about the middle of the great hall before the swarming orcs surrounded us completely. Their shrieks, screaming, and laughter were enough to make one go insane. We all stood, waiting for them to attack, watching their every move. Suddenly, a deep growl was heard echoing throughout the halls. The orcs fell into a state of panic, and then turned and ran as fast as they could in the direction they came. Penny and I made eye contact—we knew the horror that was moving our way quickly. 

"What is this new devilry?" Boromir asked gravely, tightening the grip on his sword.

"A Balrog. A demon of the ancient world…" Gandalf replied slowly. "This foe is beyond any of you. RUN!" he exclaimed, and we all sprinted as fast as we could out of the room.

*Link*

I thought Hyrule was bad, with evil creatures and monsters. This place, Middle-Earth, made Hyrule look like a fairy-tale land. Facing these creatures, orcs, Legolas called them, in massive amounts was hard enough, but now, a demon? I pressed on harder, and we passed through the entrance to another room, this one more massive than the last. It appeared to have no ceiling, and its floor was so far below, riddled with fire and lava. An enormous stone staircase led the way towards a small bridge, where I assumed an exit would be. Ahead of me Boromir ran. He tottered at the edge of the ledge, and Legolas ran forward, and pulled him back. I overheard Aragorn speak to Gandalf about fighting the demon, but Gandalf just threw him forward. 

"Lead them on, Aragorn," Gandalf said. "The bridge is near!"

We all raced down the stairs until we were stopped by a massive gap in them. Legolas nimbly lept across the gap, and called for Gandalf to follow. Gandalf followed him to the other side, and then Penny jumped across. To me, it looked like she floated: her dress and her hair was swept behind her, and she landed gracefully, on her feet, right into the arms of…Legolas. How I wished to be Legolas at that time, it was unfair…As I felt jealously tug at my heart, I also felt someone tug at the bottom of my tunic. I looked down to see Hill. She was so cute when she was small!

"Pick me up, Link, I can't make it across," she said to me, and I picked her up instantly. She clung to me tightly as I leaped across, and Aragorn and Gandalf caught us once we reached the other side. She didn't let go, though, didn't want to be put down, and was trembling terribly. I held on to her as she turned to watch the others come across safely.

"Merry! Pippin!" Boromir cried as he scooped them up and jumped across. Aragorn threw Sam across next, and then attempted to throw Gimli.

"No one tosses a dwarf!" he exclaimed gruffly, and then he jumped across. He landed on the edge, and tottered backwards. Legolas grabbed his beard so he wouldn't fall. "Not the beard!" he screamed as Legolas pulled him over. Hill and Penny couldn't help but laugh. I looked at Hill, in my arms, and then at Penny. Penny was so…beautiful…but completely out of my league. It gets frustrating, knowing that she's there and I can't have her, and at that time I was too stupid to realize the feelings I still had for the equally beautiful woman I had in my arms.

A huge chunk of the stone staircase crumbled and fell off next, leaving Aragorn and Frodo on the other side. The demon could be heard edging closer and closer to us - it was right behind the wall separating the two rooms – and a huge tremor (no doubt caused by the creature) caused a massive piece of stone debris to fall and break off the top part of the staircase, leaving the section Aragorn and Frodo on swaying unsteadily in mid-air. They stood up, however, and leaned forward. The staircase fell forwards, towards us, and as stone met stone, Aragorn and Frodo leaped onto Gandalf and Legolas, and we watched the part of the staircase plummet below us.

I put Hill down at this point and we all raced down the rest of the stairs and across the bridge. We all got across safely; at least I thought we all did. I turned around, and to my horror and the horror of those around me, Gandalf was still on the bridge. He turned and faced the demon. The creature was enormous, enveloped in flame, and it roared menacingly at Gandalf. 

"You cannot pass!" I heard him cry. "I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor.  The dark fire will not avail you, flame of  Udun,"  and then a circle of blue light emitted from his staff, encircling him, protecting him from the fire-whip of the demon.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Gandalf screamed for the last time, and brought his staff down on the stone bridge. The half of the bridge holding the demon collapsed, and the demon fell with one last giant roar. I sighed with relief, but then then next part played out in slow motion. The Balrog's whip caught Gandalf's ankle, and it pulled him down. Gandalf held on the edge, and tried to pull himself up, but it was impossible.

"Fly, you fools!" he cried, before letting go of the stone. And then he was gone. Gone, forever. My heart sank, and tears leaked from the corners of my eyes as I ran out of the mines and into the bright sunlight of the mountainside. 

*Hillary*

Gandalf's death didn't really hit me all at once. I kept thinking to myself, it's only a movie, it's not real…but looking around at all my friends mourning his death, I realized how real this situation was. They were actual people, not actors acting in a movie…real people. And Gandalf was gone, for now, anyways. But Penny and I were the only ones that knew that. Everyone else thought he was gone forever…what a horrible feeling, knowing something like that and not being able to tell anyone. 

I wanted so bad to tell Merry and Pippin as I approached them that it would be okay, that Gandalf would be back, just to give it time…but as I kneeled in front of them and saw their tears, I found I couldn't speak, and I just broke down along with them. Merry was holding Pippin, and Pippin was clutching at his heart, sobbing. They both lifted their eyes to mine at the same time, and then reached out, and pulled me into their embrace. We all just hugged each other and cried. I hope they got as much comfort and condolence from me as I received from them.

*Legolas*

Coming out of the mines…out of the dark tomb that swallowed my friend and mentor…and into the bright sunshine was such a horrible shock that I almost had trouble concealing my emotions. Looking around…I couldn't help but feel my face twist from pain and anguish as I witnessed the sorrows of my fellow companions. The Hobbits were especially hard to watch…I felt so absolutely horrible.

"Legolas!" I heard Aragorn call to me. "Legolas, get them up." No, I thought, let them be for a while…

"Give them a moment, for pity's sake!" Boromir cried.

"No!" Aragorn replied. "By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs!" And so we were up. It was dawn, and Aragorn said we needed to reach the woods of Lothlorien. Sure enough, by dusk, we had reached the outskirts of the forest.

I got an eerie feeling as we stepped further and further into the wood. My eyes and ears were on full alert; I could detect all movement with my razor-sharp vision. I looked over, and saw that Penny was reacting the same way as I: my girl looked more like an Elf than ever before. I could tell she hadn't been crying over Gandalf's death—she held in her emotions very well, considering she was only half-Elf. I looked over at Hill; what a difference between the two. Before, they were so similar: Penny was only about two inches taller than Hillary, they had similar figures, and were both very…_well_…human. Now the difference was like night and day. Penny was tall and graceful, more Elf-like every day, and Hillary was small and vulnerable, more Hobbit-like every day. Poor Hillary still had traces of tears down her cheeks, and her hands were linked with Merry and Pippin on each side of her. Gandalf's death obviously still fell heavy on their little hearts. 

In the split second between observing all this and then returning my focus back to the woods, I noticed Penny was tense, and she had her hand on the hilt of her sword. I pulled out my bow and arrow as we passed through a circle of immense trees. Looking all around one would see shades of green and brown, and the grey haze of sky as the sun began to fall beneath the earth. Furry moss covered all the rocks on the ground, and green and brown leaves carpeted the dirt floor. It smelled like woodlands, like Mirkwood forest almost, and the air was thick and damp with moisture. The faint chirpings of birds could be heard high within the branches. Then, oddly, nothing could be heard except the trodding of my companions' feet, and then the harsh intrusion of Gimli's voice. I knew something was drawing near. I could feel it.

"Stay close, young Hobbits!" he whispered, waving the Hobbits towards him. "They say a sorceress lives in these woods…an Elf-witch," he said. I smirked a bit; leave it to the Dwarves to blow something way out of proportion. "All who look upon her," Gimli continued, "fall under her spell, and are never seen again." The eyes of the Hobbits, especially Frodo, grew extremely large, and darted around in fear. Someone made a comment to him, I think it was Penny, but I was too concentrated on the presence that I felt earlier—it was much stronger now.

"Don't worry," I heard Gimli say. "I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox--" and then we were surrounded. A large group of Elves encircled the Fellowship. I _knew_ it was coming; my bow was pointed at the head of the front-most Elf. Apparently, Penny, Aragorn, and Boromir were ready as well; they all had their weapons drawn.

"That Dwarf breathes so loudly we could have shot him in the dark," the leader said, and Gimli glared at him menacingly. Aragorn put down his sword and walked up to him.

"_Haldir of Lorien, we need your protection_," he said in Elvish. They conversed briefly, and then the group of Elves led us deep into the forest.

*Hillary*

I couldn't believe the beauty of the forest we were in. By the time the sun set, we had reached the area where all the Elves dwelt. Everything was illuminated in bright whites and blues, and a beautiful singing could be heard echoing throughout the wood. Although I couldn't understand it, it was soothing, and I felt calmed while we ascended a giant winding staircase. No doubt we were going to see Galadriel, and she would tell us great things, like she did in the movie. But I didn't really seem to care that much. I didn't care about much of anything anymore, not since Gandalf died.

Sure enough, Galadriel had much to tell, but after she had finished with her spiel, she asked for Penny and I to "linger" while the rest get settled for the night. I was ticked, all I wanted to do was sleep, and cry. Feels like I'd never cried as much in my life as I did now as a Hobbit. Damn these emotions. I grabbed Penny's hand, and she squeezed it as the rest in the room exited except for Galadriel. When I looked at her face all I could think of was Cate Blanchett in the film "Elizabeth." I chuckled a bit to myself, and she seemed to catch my thoughts or something, cause she smiled slightly, too.

"Penelope, Hillary," she said slowly. 

"She used my real name," Penny whispered to me, and we laughed silently.

"You are wondering why the two of you are here, are you not?" she said. We nodded simultaneously. "No doubt the gods made no mistake in making sure the two of you arrived home safely to Middle-Earth," she said mysteriously.

"Wait a minute," Penny said, holding up her hand, "our home is on Earth. Earth-Earth, not Middle-Earth."

"That's what you were brought up to believe." If Penny was as confused as I was, then we were, in a word, screwed.

"We're humans, well, we were humans, from Earth," I said, frowning in bewilderment. 

"You two do not honestly think your being orphans and having basically the same instincts and feelings tied to the story of J.R.R. Tolkien portrayed in his novels was a coincidence, did you?" Galadriel asked, smiling broadly.

"Well actually…" I said, looking around.

"Wait," Penny said, "Tolkien? You know who Tolkien is?!"

"Tolkien is like the two of you. See, there are certain beings that the gods have chosen to travel across dimensions, to see how the beings of different worlds would coincide with eachother."

"There are other dimensions?" Penny asked.

"Oh yes, quite a many dimensions, actually…many of them we could not even fathom," Galadriel asserted. "And you were actually supposed to be born in this dimension, the two of you, but a glitch somewhere somehow foiled the plans of the gods, and that's how you ended up on Earth completely alone."

Penny and I were silent for a few minutes after that was spoken. It was a lot to take in, and I think Penny took it better than I did, for she spoke up first.

"So, do we have parents?" she asked.

"Yes, you do," Galadriel answered. My heart filled with so many emotions of love, and hope, and joy that I felt like I was going to cry again. Funny thing, most people know at least who their parents were, and if they loved them, but being completely alone, family-wise, in the world for twenty-five years and then finding out you weren't alienated was a pretty good feeling.

"Do they know we exist?" I asked.

"Yes, they have been waiting patiently for the two of you to return home."

"Are they humans?" Penny asked.

"No, your parents are Elves, and Hillary's parents are Hobbits."

"Then why aren't we our full, um, species, yet?" I asked.

"The other High Elves and I have not yet deciphered that yet, we feel that the gods, or whatever force brought you back here, are getting you acclimated to your new bodies and new surroundings before you become full members of your race."

"Why us?" Penny asked.

"My, you two are inquisitive!" Galadriel exclaimed. Whoops, we ticked off the Elf lady. "We're not exactly sure. The gods work in mysterious ways."

"What's the deal with Tolkien?" I asked. "Is he an 'insider' too?"

"Yes, he was actually born hear as well, as a human, and he traveled to Earth to live. Hence the epic novels, and now the movies."

"You know about movies? Isn't that, taboo, or something?" Penny asked her.

"Yes. But we'll never tell. Very few can see into the other dimensions, and those that can are bound to secrecy."

"Why do the actors in the movie look so much like the beings here, you know, like Merry and Pippin?" I asked.

"Those that can not travel across dimensions have similar doubles in the other dimensions, hence the reason why they were picked to star in the movies. Tolkien, and Peter Jackson, another traveler, selected them for that reason."

"This is so mad," Penny said, leaning on my shoulder. Damn my short-ness, I was the perfect height for that.

"It sort-of makes sense now, in a freakish, twilight-zone sort-of way," I said. Galadriel laughed.

"Now that you know, you may go."

"Wait," Penny said. "Is Hyrule another dimension?"

"Yes," Galadriel replied. 

"Someone at Nintendo is an insider," I whispered to Penny, and she nodded.

"Wonderful. Now, the two of you can leave," the blonde Elf said. I got the feeling she was trying to get rid of us.

"WAIT!" Penny said as I tried to drag her out of there. "I want my fortune read!" Galadriel gave us the death stare of the century.

"Am I destined to be with Legolas?" my brunette friend cried.

"And am I gunna hook up with Merry, or Pippin?" I asked. "Or both!" Galadriel just laughed as waved us away. 

"Well, Hill, love…I guess we're home," Penny said quietly as we began to descend the stairs.

"Yeah," I replied, sighing.

"What are we going to tell the guys?!" we asked each other simultaneously, before collapsing into a fit of giggles.

Well now that the cat is out of the bag…or…something…I'll be running along now! Another cliffhanger, perfectly placed just to TORTURE our readers, leaving them begging for more! lol love you guys, thanks for reading, chapter 20 will be up whenever, teehee.


	20. Chapter 20

Dear readers,  
  
I am very sorry for not updating for so long. I got sidetracked with many things and then simply forgot. Excuses aren't really enough so I apologise, and take the blame.  
  
~*Miss Silverwing*~  
  
P.S IF I get anymore flamers, this is a message to you. SOD OFF! It takes courage to put up your imagination and feelings, so don't revoke it. I also notice that flamers are anonymous, SOD OFF! I'd like to see you do better in your stories but obviously not, seeing as you're too afraid to give me the link to them. One more thing. SOD OFF! Thank you! Have a nice life! xXx  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
  
There was a dragon in my stomach. It was rolling around gurgling with laughter and making rude burping noises. I vaguely felt myself on my back and my blurred thoughts changed dramatically to that of beans on toast. Damn I wanted that so badly.  
  
The dragon made a sarcastic comment about bacon and decided that it would start tunnelling to my mouth. That is when I woke up, snapping bolt upright and finding myself in the forest of Lothlorien. I ignored the members of the fellowship who were awake and jumped to my feet, sprinted over to a bush and let the dragon loose.  
  
To put it lightly, I puked rather violently. I felt someone lift up my hair behind my neck and rub my back gently with a strong hand. When I'd finished decorating the shrubbery I turned to see Link. He gave me a sympathetic smile and wiped the corner of my mouth with a piece of cloth he had handy.  
  
"What happened to you?" He asked gently.  
  
"Dragon." I replied, still rather dazed and having nice thoughts about pineapples.  
  
Suddenly the thundering of feet heralded the arrival of Hillary and Legolas. "What happened. . . .eurgh! That is so disgusting!" Said the ever- tactful Hillary. Legolas looked concerned, and made that cute frowning face. "What happened to her, is she feverish?"  
  
Link felt my forehead. "She's absolutely fine, but she said something about a dragon." I stood up straight. The two men looked at me worriedly, while Hillary hummed happily, choosing lala land against the reality of the bush behind her. "I dreamt there was a dragon in my stomach and it was laughing, then it came out." I said it with the air of a three-year-old child who couldn't work out how halfway between the stomach and bush the dragon had been nastily mangled and come out in a liquidised form.  
  
"Are you positive she's not feverish?" Legolas whispered. Suddenly a wonderful smell filled my nostrils and my eyes turned with a hungry glint towards the saucepan of Sam. I bolted off in that direction, leaving the three to stare after me.  
  
Pippin had been fetching water and walked by. "Goodness, who left that mess?" he piped up.  
  
"Penny did." Hillary said, smiling. Pippin looked at the bush, then back at Hillary. "I didn't know elves did that, do you?"  
  
"We do now Pip, we do now." Link grumbled, walking after me. Legolas followed him. Unaware of their concern, Sam and I were having a wonderful conversation about how plants were so nice and how blue and pinks made gardens look more spacious. All the time I was gulping down bacon, happy as anything. I was overshadowed by two figures. The two 'L's.'  
  
"Penny, how do you manage to dream about a dragon, run over and deposit a present in the bush and then want to eat something?" Link questioned.  
  
"I don't know, ask God." I said flatly, taking another bite. "I also had a craving for beans on toast just before I was sick. No biggie." While Legolas started to lecture me on the subject of feverish dreams, Hillary slyly grabbed Link and took him a little distance away. She took deep breaths.  
  
"Right, I want you to explain to me, Penny's symptoms." She breathed. Link thought for a moment. "Really odd dream, craving for food, violently sick, suddenly hungry."  
  
"Oh my God! She's pregnant!" Hillary cried as quietly as she could. Link looked rather struck by this statement. "She's what?"  
  
"Look." Hillary said, impatiently, positively squirming with worry. "We know perfectly well what Penny and Legolas get up to sometimes."  
  
"What, the all night screaming marathon?"  
  
"Hush! There are young ears present! Anyway, I doubt that in either here or Hyrule there is any contraception."  
  
"Contra-what?"  
  
"Precisely!" Hillary said shrilly. "Penny didn't think of that, she's going to have a baby in about 8 and a half months! Oh my God! Oh my God!"  
  
I entered the conversation at this point. (I hadn't heard any of this, I was told later by Hillary, much to my amusement) "Darling you look frightfully flushed." I informed Hillary who looked like heart failure was imminent. "I'm fine, it's all fine." She heaved between deep calming breaths. If I had known the situation I would have politely pointed out that she was acting like she was the one who was pregnant.  
  
After everyone had calmed down, we were informed that we had to split into groups and take boats down the river. I was in a group with Hillary, Legolas, Link and Pippin. As we pushed off, the whole fellowship looked rather troubled. I knew what was ahead and intended on staying alive, so I sat up straight and cheerily in the boat, waving at the various elves of Lothlorien who had come to watch us go, just to check we really were leaving and consider opening up something doubtlessly alcoholic the second we rounded the corner. Galadriel stood alone, framed rather nicely by the surrounding bushes. She lifted her hand to grant us farewell.  
  
Of course, I started shaking my whole arm about and calling out goodbye. I suddenly realised she was trying to tell me something. She mouthed "You are stagnant."  
  
'Thanks a f*cking bunch' my mind murmured darkly. "Ok! Bye!" I said, turning back. 'Stagnant, what cheek! Only water is stagnant! Grrr.'  
  
  
  
Hillary was sitting infront of me in the boat and Pippin infront of her. Legolas was taking up most of the middle, and using the paddle to get us moving, and Penny was at the front, demanding that she was captain of the ship. I sighed, and looked at the back of Hillary's head. I didn't get it, I don't love her, honestly, I mean I did, but it wasn't right and stuff. But now, it was strange, I saw her, with her arms around Pippin, and he was in her lap, looking up at her, so he would have seen her upside down, and she was pinching his nose and things.  
  
It was strange because I was jealous. I knew I was, you get this really odd feeling that kind of shimmers across your soul (which I imagine is trapped in the ribcage) like the ripples caused by light under water. Then there was Penny, ever more beautiful, but completely blind to my feeling because she was besotted with Legolas, and without knowing it was pregnant with his child. I'd began to give up on her, but still if I got the chance, I wouldn't mind getting her alone in some shrubbery. . . . .maybe Hill could join too. . . .Mmm. . .  
  
My, *cough* thoughts were scattered by some movement up on the cliffs above us. Grunting, pounding of feet reached my sensitive Hylian ears. I looked up, trees were swaying as something made it's way through. Hillary was looking calmly up, and so was Penny, while the rest of our fellowship looked rather intimidated.  
  
After a while I looked up to see two colossal statues.  
  
"Really downsizes the desert colossus doesn't it?" Hillary said in a relaxed manner, referring to the large statue of a woman, that guarded the entrance to the spirit temple deep in the deserts of Hyrule. I just nodded, wondering who really took up their time constructing it.  
  
We passed between them, and made our way to the shore, getting out of the boats and building a fire. Boromir was looking slightly haunted, and said he'd fetch some fire-wood. 'My ass' I thought, noticing that Frodo had wondered off. Hillary and Penny looked at each other, before running off to see. Gimli lit his pipe and looked Solemn. Legolas was contemplating something no doubt, and Aragorn had noticed something was wrong, but wasn't quite sure what. "Umm, Aragorn, where has Boromir gone?" I said, deciding to be subtle after Hillary and Penny had their conversation overhead about not telling people stuff. . .  
  
He leapt up, and I jumped back. He ran off between the trees, I decided to stay put with Legolas, my best guy friend, and the dwarf who had began to make subtle comments about how elves suck. I looked around as Legolas's face reddened, something wasn't right, and I tightly gripped the mastersword.  
  
  
  
I ran around between the trees. I had no clue where in earth I was and Hillary had ran off so I was feeling quite alone. I was also terrified because I knew that any moment, great hulking uruk-hai would be making an entrance and if I was alone I'd be dead meaties! I suddenly bumped into Aragorn. "Where is Frodo, Penny?" he asked. I sighed. "He should be near that stone ornament." I said, pointing to it, the moment the poor little hobbit appeared in mid-air and landed with a mighty thud. Aragorn and I ran over looking concerned, Frodo was very cold towards us and after being rather distraught, he tried to offer us the ring. I heard a chilling whisper as my eyes looked down at the ring. "Penelope. . . ." it hissed, I was surprised, I had absolutely no desire to take it at all. "Frodo. . .your ring is talking to me." I said with my eyes wide. Aragorn was staring at it. I whacked him around the back of the head. He blinked, and closed Frodo's hand over it. I can't remember what he said, I was too busy trying to control my bladder while staring, speechless at a horde of approaching Uruk-hai . "Frodo! RUN!" Me and Aragorn cried out at the same time, and tuned to face the monsters.  
  
I have to admit, this was the last thing I had planned on getting caught up in, and I was half way between bed-wetting and a near death experience. I followed Aragorn's lead and my daggers sprang into action, with a cry of, "DIIiIiiiIIIiiiIIIIEEEE YOU UGLY GREAT BRUTES!" Rawr! I was vicious! Legolas suddenly joined the action, firing arrow left, right and centre. I was impressed, he's so brilliant.  
  
Note to Self : Reminder to reward Legolas in a nearby bush if I live through this  
  
Bwahahah! Ok so where I am? Oh yeah I'm in the middle of a great band of smelly monsters, sweeping left and right, and doing the patented Penny sleep spell. (Namely : Whack victim round the head until all movement ceases) Suddenly a horn sounded from the woods to the left of us. "The horn of Gondor." Aragorn gasped. I was so scared now, I had no idea where Hillary was, I sped off in the direction of the horn, terrified by a sudden feeling she was in danger. I arrived just in time to see Boromir, fighting on with two arrows sticking out of his chest. I almost cried, it was terrible, but I knew it had to happen.  
  
"PENNY!!! PENNY HELP!" Came a hysterical scream, Hillary, Merry and Pippin were being carried off by a huge crowd of Uruk-Hai, while Boromir was powerless to stop them. "HILLARY!" I screeched, beginning to chase after them. However, something thudded hard into the back of my head, and amidst the screams of Hillary and the grunts of Uruk-Hai, I fell to the ground, shrouded in darkness.  
  
"HILLARY" I screamed when I snapped up. A strong hand pushed me down again, and something wet was on my forehead. I squeezed my eyelids together furiously, trying to work out what was going on.  
  
"Sssh, Penny, shhh." I heard the soothing voice of Legolas. "Is she awake?" I heard footsteps and Aragorn's voice from a little distance off. I could tell it was late evening, as the sky was getting darker. "I had no idea that she-elves were so hysterical." Gimli pondered, I could tell he was smoking his pipe again. I tired to launch myself from the ground again, but to no avail as Legolas pinned me down again, a little harder than he intended to, probably irritated with Gimli's comment. I opened my eyes and glared up at the three men.  
  
"Where's Link? Oh dear God, he's not dead is he?"  
  
"No, no, he went with Frodo and Sam, they have gone on alone. We have to try and catch up with Hillary, Pippin and Merry, and save them from the Uruk Hai before they are taken before Saruman and dispatched mercilessly because they are worthless to him." Aragorn explained to me. I looked up at him pitifully, the thought of Hillary being 'dispatched' made my stomach squirm, but I looked closer at the Ranger, he seemed somehow. . . 10 years older.  
  
"And Boromir is dead isn't he?" I muttered. Aragorn stared at me. "How. . . . .how did you know that?"  
  
"You didn't mention him, his shield is gone and you sent his body off in one of the boats." I said simply, lying on the dead leaves with a smug expression. Legolas looked most proud, Gimli dropped his pipe and Aragorn gave me a half smile.  
  
"Legolas, you have found yourself quite the girl, almost as good a ranger as I am."  
  
"She is building well on her instincts as an elf, but she is not fully one yet, I don't know why, she is only half elf at the moment. As you know, us elves are very tuned in to our surroundings, that is probably how she knows."  
  
'No ducky, I read the book.' My mind drawled sarcastically.  
  
"In the morning, we shall start following, we really have no time to lose, but I felt that you needed some rest, Penny." Aragorn said clearly. The leader of the group. I leapt up. "You're right, we have no time to lose, I can't bear the thought of Hillary being killed, we must go."  
  
'I just damn well hope that with my half elf lifestyle, comes along a free package of that sleep while running thing because I'm going to damn well need it.' I thought darkly.  
  
So that is how I found myself, running long distance (my least favourite thing) across the plains of Rohan, following Uruk-hai (my least favourite monster) tracks. I sighed, I knew we'd never get to be with Hillary and the others soon, and I didn't look forward to what I would have to deal with in the future. I was scared, but I had to keep going for all my friends' sake.  
  
~*~*~  
  
*Huff Puff* This chapter is dedicated to Shinobi Fearie (Sorry if I spelt that wrong) Do you know why? She is the person who gave me faith in myself to carry on, she is the person who has been so faithful to me and Hill, so I want you all to thank her for getting me back on the rails!!! Oh yeah and review or die. And if any of you are even planning on flaming without a good, solid reason. . . . .  
  
*Takes a deep breath and pavarotti stance* SOOOOOOOOD OFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!  
  
P.s. If link was meant to love Zelda, they would done something in Ocarina of Time. Trust me darling, I am a huge fan of that game, they don't have ANY chemistry alright? ^_^ face it, they were saving him for me and hill! Hahahaha 


	21. Chapter 21

Here's my New Year's Resolution: to finish this God-forsaken story for all you lovely readers out there! And to stop procrastinating on my assigned chapters! 

Sheesh, I'm bad. Well, here's chapter 21.

Disclaimer: We don't own anything LOTR or Zelda related.

*Hillary*

"PENNY!!! PENNY HELP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as one enormous Uruk-hai scooped me up and began to carry me off in the opposite direction of the rest of the group. Then I saw another monster come up behind her and whack her in the back of the head with the butt of his sword, and he was quickly stabbed in the side by Legolas before he could jab his weapon through Penny's ribs. I screamed again for her, and things began to move in slow motion. I saw Boromir fall to his knees with three arrows in his torso, and I screamed again for him. Legolas fell to Penny's side while Aragorn and Gimli fought off another horde of Uruk-hai. I looked over, and Merry and Pippin were being carried off along with me. They were screaming as well, but at this time our friends were mere specks off in the distance.

Merry, Pippin, and I made eye contact wearily. Pippin closed his eyes and his head drooped, no doubt accepting the fact that he was now a prisoner and had no way of escaping at that time. Merry's brows furrowed, and he reached up and touched his forehead. I hadn't noticed before but he had a pretty serious gash, and it was still bleeding. I cringed, and then looked off into the distance. The sky was turning orange and pink; the sun was setting, and it would almost have been a beautiful setting if not for the seriousness of the situation. We had no idea at that point what troubles were in store for us in the near future.

~*~*~

Night had fallen when we were thrown to the ground at the Uruk-hai camp. Merry, Pippin, and I scrambled to each other as fast as we could, and were slowed greatly because our hands were bound with ropes. 

"Oh, Merry, Hillary, I'm so glad we're all alright," Pippin said exhaustingly, as he fell back a bit, propped up on his right elbow.

"Pip," Merry replied, "I'm not feeling too well right now," and he brought his hands up to the wound on his forehead. Pippin and I cringed, and Merry brought his hand down. Flakes of dried blood were on his fingertips and in his palm.

"Oh Merry," Pippin cooed sadly. I looked around quickly, and noticed that all the Orcs that had joined the Uruk-hai since Amon-Hen were chopping down all the trees. A giant bonfire was being built, and I could hear the Orcs beginning to complain about hunger. The Uruk-hai were pissed that they had to stop at all, and were berating the less-powerful Orcs for their weaknesses. 

"We have to try to escape," I whispered to them, and they nodded in agreement, eyes wide, scanning the area for attacking monsters. 

As the Orcs chopped down more and more trees, the more the three of us began to notice the noises coming from the forest. There was a continuing groaning noise, and a crackling of branches other than what the Orcs were doing.

"What's making that noise, Merry?" Pippin asked fearfully.

"It's the trees," Merry replied, looking up at the forest close to us. I turned my head, and sure enough, the trees were swaying ominously in the dark. I winced at the sight of it; I had read the books, and I knew what had driven Merry and Pippin into there in the first place. Sure enough, a blue-faced orc shuffled up to us, and peered down, licking its slimy lips in hunger.

"We could eat their legs," it hissed to the others. Apparently they had been talking about eating us for a while. "They don't need those," it continued.

"NO!" one ruling Uruk-hai shouted. "Sauron's orders say not to harm the half-lings," it barked.

"Just one little taste…" the blue Orc said and growled, reaching down to grab Merry.

"That one's already bleeding!" another one cried. "I smell the blood! THE HALF-LING'S ARE MINE!"

"NO!" The Uruk-hai shouted, and knocked the other two down, killing the second one. And just when the three of us felt we couldn't be scared anymore, the horn of Rohan sounded, and the Riders of Rohan raced into the camp, slaughtering the beasts left and right. In the midst of the confusion, Merry, Pippin, and I scrambled to a fallen Uruk-hai, and used its sword to slice through our ropes. Once free, we stumbled to our feet and raced as fast as we could into Fangorn Forest. 

"Run, fellas, run!" I shouted as I heard the blue Orc racing after us in persuit.

"I'm gunna eat you all raw!" I heard it mumble as it tripped over a log, almost grabbing my heel. I ran harder and faster, and we turned a corner in the forest.  Merry and Pippin hurried me up a tree, helping me as they climbed themselves. 

We reached a high branch, and then stopped for a rest. The Orc was gone; we could neither hear him nor see him. Then out of nowhere it jumped at us, and we would have been dead if the tree hadn't intervened. The tree knocked the Orc down and stepped on it, and scooped Merry, Pippin and I up into its arms. Wait a minute…a tree with arms and legs?! We had stumbled upon Treebeard! 

"Hooooooo!!" it grumbled, stretching its body fully.

"It's talking Merry, the tree is talking!" Pippin cried.

"I am no tree," it said slowly, "I am an Ent."

"A treehearder!" Merry cried.

"A shepherd of the forest," I said softly. I knew what they were. I had read the book.

"Don't talk to it!" Pippin hissed. It was at this time that I realized how close I was to Pippin. Treebeard had scooped us up together, and I was able to squirm around and face Pip. I was flush up against his body; I guess what you could call a pretty tight squeeze. Not the most romantic situation, but I couldn't complain, really.

"Heya, Pip," I whispered, smiling up at him. I gazed into his smiling green eyes briefly, and he kissed my nose before speaking up again.

"Whose side are you on?" he asked the Ent.

"Side? I am on nobody's side because nobody's on my side, little Orc. Nobody cares for the woods anymore."

"But we're hobbits!" Merry cried. Treebeard then started raving about how he had never heard of hobbits before, and how we were mischievous orcs. He then proceeded to squeeze the life out of us. I thought I couldn't get any closer to Pippin, but I was apparently wrong. He squeezed us so hard we couldn't breathe, and we heard things cracking all over the place. Not a pleasant experience. We tried to explain, but he wouldn't have it. And then he threw us down in front of the White Wizard! THE HORROR!

*Link*

I followed the two hobbits, Merry and Sam, to the river. Frodo complained, and said that he was going to Mordor alone. Are you kidding? They couldn't last five minutes without me!

"Come on, Mr. Link," Sam said to me, "we're going to protect Frodo." So I did. And so we are.

The majority of the time I was escorting the two hobbits, they were mumbling to themselves about how much they loved each other and how good of friends they were. It was borderline…well…let's not go there. But I did sleep uneasily those nights. Usually I just kept a watchful eye out, but while traveling with the wee ones I did more than ever. I came to realize how much I missed Hillary and Penny. Sure, they had they're respective lovers, but…I still had feeling for them, both friendship and attraction. Trying to sleep at night, I'd picture Penny's face, and fall in love with her beauty all over again. That fair skin…those light brown eyes…and her long, gorgeous figure. It was even longer now cause she was an elf! Major droolage. And Hillary…well, it was over with her. But I still felt close to her, even though she was tiny now. I wonder what they're doing now…I hope they're not in danger. I think I'll just keep hope alive, and pray for their safekeeping in my heart. I know, sometime, I'll see them again.

But now I have to see the back of Sam and Frodo's head. Why does Legolas always have all the fun?!

Sorry it's short…but I have nothing else. Argentium will do better, though, I promise!


	22. Chapter 22

Haha! I return, ready to rock and roll . . . or should I say . . . shock? 

~+*Argy-bargy-Silverwing*+~

-Penny-

We had been running for days, barely stopping to sleep or rest, in pursuit of the Uruk-hai who hardly needed to stop. 

Aragorn bent low, putting his ears to the ground, listening for which direction the rumbles of trampling feet came from. Gimli kept up the rear; I ran alongside Legolas, my new elfin features helping me to keep near the front with ease. Vast improvement, considering I hate long-distance running with a passion. 

I knew what would be coming next, and I kept scanning the distance, until one morning, closing to midday, I saw them. Aragorn's senses seemed to note the disruption in the landscape, and he looked around. He stopped and frowned. 

"Legolas, what do your elf-eyes see?" He asked. Legolas squinted, focusing on the group. "About 100 riders, two horses are being towed along, without riders."

We all jumped down from the hilltop we had been standing on, and Aragorn motioned for us to hide ourselves behind a large boulder. We did so and waited. The roar of thundering hooves drew closer, and soon enough they poured between the rocks like a boiling bubbling liquid. When they had passed, Aragorn stepped out, and shouted to them. "Riders of Rohan! What news from the mark?" Most of what he said was drowned out against the stampede, but as we grouped, they circled us. Many spears pointed towards us. I gulped and looked towards Legolas. 

"Surely, Riders, you would not hold a lady at blade-point."

"She may be just as dangerous as you. Don't make the mistake of thinking we haven't seen her daggers."

I just rolled my eyes and looked around us. My thoughts drifted to Hillary. I hope my cheeky little hobbit friend was all right. I'd be seeing her soon enough, after the battle at Helm's Deep. 

Anyway, to cut a long story short after I came back to reality, as the riders told us the story of the massacre the night before. My friends went very quiet, thinking our little companions had had no chance! But I knew better!!! Right now, they were probably sitting pretty atop a walking tree . . . I'm sorry, I meant Ent. 

They offered us the horses, whose previous owners had unfortunately died. Legolas and Argorn hopped up as the Riders of Rohan galloped away, after wishing us well. Legolas motioned for me to join him in his saddle. 

"I think you should take Gimli, love. He's never ridden before, and you're a gentler rider. I can cope with Aragorn's but Gimli may not be able to." He agreed with a smile. Aragorn looked a little miffed, but I hopped up behind him. 

We rode for a long time. Legolas and I whispered words of encouragement to the brave horses, who carried our weight. 

We soon reached the edge of the forest. My nose stung with the smell of burning flesh and I looked anywhere but the grotesque site of a head on a pole. The others walked towards the smoking heap of ashes and found the dagger sheaths of Merry and Pippin. They all looked as if they'd been deflated. Legolas sent a single prayer to help them on their way, and I saw tears in his eyes. 

I walked over and held him in an embrace, which he returned. I planted a kiss on his tear-streaked face. "They're in a safe place." I whispered in our language. It was at that point when Aragorn noticed something. He was muttering to himself, following a trail. He lifted up ropes next to a discarded axe. He looked up, his gaze falling upon the trees. 

"The forest! They went into the forest!" He cried, drawing his sword and marching forward. Legolas glanced at me with an eyebrow raised before we followed Aragorn into the woods. 

It was definitely an extremely pissed off mood here. Trees were groaning and muttering to themselves as we entered. Legolas, being prince of Mirkwood, obviously could understand trees perfectly. He told us the forest was old, and very angry, but that the white wizard approached. 

This evoked fear into our group. "Don't look at him, he may put us under some spell." Someone muttered, as the men gripped their weapons tightly. I could feel a pure presence approaching us; music seemed to ring in my ears. I felt very relaxed and I smiled. 

"NOW!" Aragorn roared. Legolas fired an arrow. Bright light flashed as it rebounded off a white shield of power. Gimli's axe had a similar effect, as Argorn's sword burned red hot in his hands, causing him to drop it. They shielded their eyes from the startling shine, coming off the tall figure. 

Finally it faded, and before us stood Gandalf. Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli stood in complete awe, their faces almost returning the light. I walked forward and embraced Gandalf. I knew he thought I was a promiscuous nymphomaniac, but I was so glad to have him back. To my surprise he chuckled and gave me a squeeze. 

Not before long, we had walked through Fangorn and were coming to the open hilly fields where the long grass swayed in the warm breeze, filling my sinuses with the smell of summer and good omens. Gandalf started to whistle. The sound was haunting, yet beautiful and was soon accompanied by a shrill whinny. 

"That is one of the mareas unless my eyes are cheated by some spell. . ." Legolas muttered beside me. 

"Shadowfax, the king of all horses, he has been my companion for many an age . . ." Gandalf told us, stroking the beautiful stallion's mane.

We all jumped onto our steeds and made our way across the plains. Soon, a town atop a hill surrounded by wooden walls came into sight. I couldn't remember the name, but I looked up in wonder at the majestic flags bearing a white horse. One had fallen and flapped along the windswept ground, giving the illusion that it was galloping. 

We rode up through the town. People gave us extremely cold glares. Under the influence of Grima Wormtongue, no doubt. We reached the steps going up the golden hall. I giggled, this would be so fun. 

Three men stepped forward. They asked for our weapons. They took Legolas' bow, Aragorn's sword and bow, and Gimli's axe, much to his reluctance. They approached me, and I flipped my daggers with a growl. They jumped slightly and blinked, I handed them over with a cheeky grin. They moved to Gandalf and asked for his staff. He hesitated.

'Say it,' I urged in my mind. But for some reason he didn't and was about to hand it over. I quickly stepped in. "Surely, gentlemen, you would not deprive an old man of his walking stick?" I said with a gentle smile. 

They nodded, and let us pass. "Well done she-elf." Gandalf whispered to me. I grinned and pretended I was helping him to walk in. We entered the hall. Many people stood watching, sitting at long tables or just standing aimlessly. Grima Wormtongue was even uglier in the flesh. Absolutely hideous and almost dripping with slime. He stared at me with searching, ice blue eyes, almost like he was undressing me with them. Bloody pervert. 

As we approached, Gandalf called out to King Theodin, who was beneath the magic cloak, giving him the appearance of a dying old man. "The welcome in this hall is somewhat cold of late, King Theodin of Rohan." Wormtongue was whispering something, and Theodin wheezed quietly. "Why should I. . . welcome. . . you, Gandalf. . . Stormcrow?" He looked at Grima for approval.

"A just question, my liege." Grima whispered. 

"Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth!" Gandalf growled, producing his beautifully carved staff. 

Grima slithered backwards, looking around the hall with bulging eyes, hissing, "I told you to take his STAFF!" 

"Yeah, well, you weren't counting on me were you, Buster?" I said, as guards tried to swarm around me and my companions, who we easily knocked out or kicked to the floor. The pale face framed with lank, dark hair turned towards me, the pale eyes locking with mine for a brief moment. I ignored it, and punched a man running past me. Gimli pushed Wormtongue to the floor, putting his foot upon his chest and leaning down to his face. "I'd stay still if I were you."

Gandalf then tried a simple spell he would have used as a grey wizard, trying to release the king from his possessed nature. Theodin's pale, pasty face creased. His pale opal eyes, clouded over and almost devoid of colour glared at us as he began to laugh. It wheezed, hacked, almost coughed a sickening rattle like gravel sliding over stone. 'Smoker's cough!' Was exactly what passed through my mind. "You have no power here, Gandalf the grey!"

Gandalf threw off his cloak, revealing the dazzling white of his robes. His staff shot forward, aiming at the figure slumped in the throne. 

Gandalf was angry. I great aura of energy swept around and from him, knocking back the force holding the King captive.

"I shall draw you Saruman, like poison is drawn form a wound."

"Rohan is mine!"

Gandalf roared and there was a great surge power. Suddenly he just stopped, and like dust slowly being blown from the cover of a rediscovered book, old age swept away from Theodin. His eyes grew brighter, his hair fairer, his skin smoothed out and gained a rosy glow. His posture restored itself and increased his height, grace and kingliness. He gazed around in awe. . .

BANG. The doors to the hall were crashed open as Grima Wormtongue slipped and squirmed, tumbling and scrabbling away desperately from the point of the King of Rohan's blade. 

"I have always served you master! I have always –."

"SILENCE!" Roared the King, advancing and kicking Grima down the stairs, before following, ready for the kill. Aragorn had to hold him back. Wormtongue swept to his feet, wiping away blood from the corner of his mouth. "It was that she-elf! She allowed the staff into the hall! It put a mad curse upon you my Lord!"

"This She-elf has a name, Rocky!" I shouted, stepping forward. "It's Penelope Fiona Mary Cecilia, and don't you forget it!"

"Oh I will not . . ." He cackled smoothly. "As much as your beauty could pierce the very heart of any creature, you shall dearly pay for this. . ."

"Will a piece of gold do? I don't have much time for negotiations!" I said loudly and haughtily. Theodin struggled again, his blade restless in his hand; keen for a killing blow "Your witchcraft would have had me on all fours like an ANIMAL!" Grima's eyes pondered this with a shock, and he whipped around with a snarl, screaming to the gathering crowd, "Get out of my way!"

He escaped on a horse, setting course for Isengard. 

~*~*~

Saruman ran a long finger across the large bruise on his forehead shaped like the mount of Gandalf's staff. How could Gandalf have transformed so suddenly, without warning? Who was this elf girl?

She was strong, she had somehow known, and assisted in the smuggling of the staff.

He could not possess her, could not take over her mind and rack her body, not under the protection and increased wariness of her friends.

"But, I could stir something up . . ." 

~*~*~

I yawned and stretched; looking around the room I was in. It was early morning and we had to move on to Helm's Deep today, because King Theodin had ordered it. Legolas was still asleep beside me, lying on his side with his back facing me. I lay back down and hugged him tightly, planting a kiss on his cheek before getting up and dressing. 

I walked down some corridors before opening a door into the great hall. Gimli was already up and making his way through a bowl of odd-looking fruit. I grabbed something vaguely resembling an apple and began to eat. Gimli glared at me.

"Sorry Gims, I'm really hungry."

" . . . What? What is Gims?"

"Your new name." I said brightly. He grinned. "She-elf, I can trust you. Could you hold my horse while I ride, I have not ridden alone before, I know Legolas would want to stay to the front to keep watch instead of riding with me."

"Why of course Gimli." I beamed. 

Later, I found myself in this exact position. Eowyn had joined us and walked on the other side of the horse while Gimli told us about dwarf women. We were in utter hysterics, and I wished more than anything that Hillary could be here to share the joke. When Aragorn added the bit about dwarf women being unidentifiable because of their beards I almost fell over.

" . . . . . and they think that dwarves just spring out of the ground!!" Gimli laughed. "Which of course is ridiculous." I caught Eowyn's eye and we almost collapsed. Gimli's horse suddenly bolted and he flew gracefully to the ground. We ran after him, and as we helped him up, I saw Eowyn staring at Aragorn, her face almost glowing. I felt pity for her then, she had fallen for him, but he was already taken, which was obvious, as he did not return her sparkling look of joy. I looked up ahead. Legolas was looking at me, his eyes were shadowed, and his face grim. He turned away.

Neither did he join us as we slept that night. My heart felt like it had nestled in the pit of my stomach. 

The next day we continued walking. I still hadn't had Legolas less than a hundred metres from me. I was starting to feel lonely, although I was crowded by people, so I ran up ahead with him. He was very quiet. Two horsemen passed us.

"What is wrong, Legolas?" I questioned. He blinked and turned his head ever so slightly away. "Legolas?"

"Nothing, I do not feel very well, that is all."

I kept quiet for several moments. Then I remembered, thanks to a sudden heat from the necklaces I wore. "Legolas, wargs are near, I can smell them, quick, they are on the attack!" I added as a sudden whinny of panic sprang up from a horse we couldn't see and a snarling sound followed by a man's scream pierced the murmurs of the crowd. 

Legolas ran from me. I followed, cresting the hill and suddenly seeing one. Legolas fired an arrow and it rolled over. "Time for a little bit of magic!" I said, calling upon energy from Farore's crystal. A jet of green light shot from my fingers and vines sprang out of the ground, wrapping the hyena-cross-wolf to the cold stone. I laughed crazily, as more wargs came over the hill. Perfect for target practise! 

"Penny! Get away from here!"

"Don't be ridiculous honey!" I giggled, freezing one to a rock. 

"Get away! You are still mortal yet!"

"Legolas, Elves can still die by blade or arrow! I'm working on it." Din's Fire coated another's fur as it yelped in pain.

"A mortal wound would sap away your life, go back to the wagons." The wargs were getting close. I threw down my arms, sending a dusting of razor sharp icicles towards them. "Legolas, I must fight, because I can."

"Fine." Was all he said, whipping up to join Gimli upon a horse. He had said one word, but it stung me like a needle. Fire shot like a whip, coiling around a goblin atop a warg and turning him to ash, which blew away.

Our fighters and the warg riders suddenly collided. I had to be extra careful. I wrapped several wargs to the ground using vines. Froze one solid, and burnt the rest who crossed my path. Finally none others were in range, without me having to harm one of our own. I watched, seeing if Legolas was all right. 

Finally, their number diminished and all was quiet, though I remembered, not without the after taste of loss. Aragorn would return again, but he had taken a fall and most thought he was dead. Slowly everyone trudged back past me. I saw Gimli, but I was waiting for Legolas. I looked along the line of men. He was not there. Panic rose. Where was he?

I turned, to see him some distance to the left of everyone else, making his way to the usual spot ahead of the group. I ran to join him. "Legolas! Wait!" 

He did not even turn, respond or flinch. "Legolas!" I cried louder. Again, I was ignored. I eventually gained on him. "Legolas!" I said again breathlessly. He halted beside a rock and turned. His face was thunderous. 

"Legolas! Legolas! Legolas! You cry out and you cry out, I do not answer, is it not clear to see I do not want to answer you!" He hissed. I gasped and frowned quizzically, my mouth opening in shock. 

"If you do not listen to me, why should I listen to you? You deliberately disobeyed me, you could have been killed."

"Yes, but I wasn't, I kept away!"

"You shouldn't have fought. What if you drew attention to yourself? They knew there was a magic user, I had to stop the ones heading straight for you."

"Thank you very much for your concern, but look! I'm fine."

"Because I was worried about you, I could not stop the one that took Aragorn!"

"Aragorn . . . will be alright!" I said, stopping myself from giving away the story. 

"Aragorn is dead! Like all humans eventually die! Even when they are half elf, half human, they die. You . . ." his eyes seemed to burn a hole through me, my eyes were filling with tears as realisation dawned. "You, I'll be expected to marry you after this, take you as my wife. You will die, after about one twentieth of how long I have lived. You will leave this world and me."

"Legolas! I will soon be an elf, a proper elf, then I will live and be immortal."

"What if you do not? I cannot take that chance. I would rather be rid of you myself, than death to it for me!"

"Why hurt yourself now? Why cannot we at least enjoy it while it can last. . . .?"

"So you can get me in deeper? Make me love you and then-. ."

"What? Make you love me? But I thought. . ." My throat seemed so tight.

"You thought wrong." His lips curled and twisted into a cruel smile. "I do not love you."

"So. . ." I said, my voice deepening with the constriction of my larynx, "what was it all before? What was it all we started in Hyrule?"

"It was nothing." He whispered. An icy, numbing feeling swept through my veins. "It was nothing, it meant nothing, I felt nothing."

"I, I. . . . .I . . . .Legolas? What are you saying? What's happened to you?"

"It's over." He said, his face as emotionless as stone. He turned and began to walk away. The last part of me that had not been filled up with the shadow now sweeping over my emotions like a virus, flared out with my last words to him. 

"You can't end what never began." I said hard and steadily. 

The darkness that had hovered over him all through this conversation seemed to lift slightly as he turned and looked at me. Suddenly seeming shocked at what he'd done. 

"I'm. . . Sorry." He said, avoiding my gaze and turning once again, as quickly as he could. I took a deep breath, like one trying to suck in oxygen before being taken under water. Sadness overwhelmed me. I felt heavy; one tear trickled down my right cheek, followed by one on my left. I backed against the boulder, clamping my hand over my mouth. A sob escaped my lips and I squeezed my eyelids together, trying to prevent the river of despair. I failed as racking echoes of my cries rang around me and I sank to the ground, hugging my knees, trying to hide from the pain. I could barely breathe properly. The two people I wanted more than anything were Link and Hillary. And they were the two people who were farthest away from me. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

WHAT IS HE DOING!?!?! You might ask. ARGENTIUM, ARE YOU OFF YOUR ROCKER? You may say. ARGENTIUM'S GONE MAD! Indeed I have. More surprises from me, next time! Kisses!!

Review or that warg will come and bite your behind! Legolas will make that red sun rising, fall on your head and Penny will attack you with an icicle, a fireball and leaf. . . .yes! The lethal leaf of Lothlorien! WAAAHAHAHAH!!! In other words, just leave a review. . . . . . 


	23. Chapter 23

Alright folks, this one's gunna be a doozy!! …give or take the "doozy" part…

Disclaimer: Hey, we haven't had one of these in a while…yeah, we don't own anything, 'cept for Penny and Hillary.

Link

As I slowly plodded up the grassy knoll, I could see the beautiful valley spanning out in front of me, and the setting sun set the lands aflame with red and orange colors. I saw Penny and Legolas running towards me, laughing and waving, and I hurried down the hill, my boots bouncing on the springy green grass. Legolas called out a warm welcome to me, and I called back with a smile and a wave.  They seemed untainted by the war, conflicts and fighting we had encountered since we first met; they seemed naïve, innocent, and carefree, and for some reason I felt the same way. When we reached each other in the middle of the valley, we hugged, and all our past grudges and tensions faded in the warmth of the sun's deepening rays. When I pulled back, I realized what was missing; looking up into Legolas's cool blue eyes and Penny's deep brown ones, they both smiled simultaneously, as if they had read my thoughts. They were both standing shoulder-to-shoulder, and as I took a step back, they stepped to the side, and there was Hillary, smiling with genuine happiness: happiness in seeing me. 

_I shook some of my hair out of my eyes and grinned; she was more beautiful than I ever remembered her, more beautiful than I could ever have imagined. Her blue eyes were intense, and her long, wavy auburn hair was down, highlighted in the soft orange light. It was at this moment that I realized that I loved her. All our arguing, our differences, our bitterness…I knew all that had only made the connection between us stronger. I loved her, and knew that she loved me. _

_I stepped forward, taking her into my arms, and swept her up into the most passionate kiss I've ever felt before in my life. When we finally pulled apart, I opened my eyes, and the sky was black and ominous. Penny and Legolas were nowhere to be found, and I looked at Hillary. She was sobbing uncontrollably now, and thunder and lightening crashed over us as a monsoon-sized downpour came down upon us. She gasped, and then was sucked away from me into the oblivion…_

"NO!" I bolted up and opened my eyes. "NO! HILLARY!" My heart was pounding, and sweat poured from my brow.

"Mr. Link?" came a familiar and friendly voice. "Mr. Link, is everything alright?" I looked around; I was laying on a rock in some god-forsaken hell-hole, and it was dark and damp and cold. I could feel the chill in my bones, and a wrenching at my heart.

"Yes, Sam, thank-you…I'll be fine," I mumbled.

"You gave me quite a fright…just a bad dream, that s'all?" I nodded, and lay back down, pulling my thin blanket tighter around my body. A cold wind whipped around us as I tried to fall back to sleep, and tried not to miss Hillary so much. That dream scared me; a nightmare like that couldn't have been a good sign. Worry and the chills wracked my body the rest of the night; I needed to see Hillary again, and soon, but we were miles and miles apart. I could not stop my heart from breaking.

Hillary

Seeing Gandalf again was quite a relief. Although it wasn't the same Gandalf I had become so fond of, it was still comforting to see and speak to Gandalf the White. He told Treebeard to take good care of us, and hinted to us about the war unfolding to the south. He mentioned Helm's Deep, and I began to pray for Penny and Legolas, as well as Gimli and Aragorn, for I knew they would be plunging into that battle any day from now. I missed my friends, all of them…especially Link, Legolas, and Penny. I missed being in the "original four"…I thought about them as Treebeard walked us through the forest and Merry and Pippin slept.

After two days' traveling, we reached a clearing, and Treebeard placed us down. I had the idea that this was his "house," and, remembering what trees did to creatures in the Old Forest and also in Fangorn Forest, I stayed far away from them, in the middle of the clearing.

"Stay here, little hobbits," Treebeard said slowly. "Stay, rest, sleep. You will be safe here." He turned and wandered away, and Merry, Pippin, and I collapsed onto the soft forest floor. The smell of moss, grass, and leaves was surprisingly comforting, and it put me into a peaceful slumber.

My dream was short but sweet: Penny and I were back in Rivendell, and I was my normal size again. I hadn't had time to miss being tall; just staying alive was hard enough these days. Penny was only two inches taller than me, like she used to be, and I stretched my five-foot-seven frame in the late afternoon sun. It was fall in Rivendell, and the leaves were falling to the earth steadily. No one was talking about war or the Ring, they were just peacefully enjoying life.

Legolas came up behind us and hugged us both, and, smiling, led Penny away to the ball that was going on in Elrond's Hall. I took in the clean, fresh air, and leaned on my elbows on the stone railing. I felt a cool breeze kiss my cheeks, and I let it play with my hair and dress. Just then, someone behind me cleared his throat, and I turned quickly. It was Link, dressed up in a deep forest green tunic. He was clean and absolutely beautiful; I almost melted at the sight of his blue eyes peeking through his shaggy blonde hair.

"Hillary," he cooed, smiling. "Hillary, go to the stream."

"What?" I replied, completely perplexed.

"Go to the stream."

Then I woke up. I sat up slowly, hoping to be in a bed in Rivendell as my former tall self. I looked at Merry and Pippin; they were sound asleep.

Link's words were reverberating in my mind. "Go to the stream." Okay, freak boy, what did you want to tell me this time? I stood, and padded over to the stream on the far side of the clearing. I sat down on a stone and looked at my reflection. I looked tired and ragged, and I was a dirty mess. I reached down and washed my face and hands, and took a gulp of the fresh, cold water. I sat up, and then felt a grumble in my stomach. Something took control of me, and I uttered something in a language I had never heard before. I frowned, and then took another sip. I made the same noise, and felt my body stretch a bit. I sounded like a tree…and stretched a bit again. And then it hit me. I had found the Ent Draught! This was how I was going to become my former tall self again! For once, he could help me. Must have been some sort of divine intervention or something.

I stuck my face deep into the water, and sucked up as much water as I could without choking to death. The noises and stretching did not stop; I knew after twelve groans I had grown a foot, and my dress was now small and tight at four foot six. I squeezed out of it, and in my underwear, jumped back into the stream and sucked up some more water. Twelve groans and stretches later I was almost back to my normal size, although I had a stomach ache. Just one more sip…I groaned one last time, and slowly stood up. I was definitely the old Hillary now.

I had to rip my ridiculously tight underwear off, and threw it next to my dress. I couldn't believe that just minutes ago I fit into that…Realizing that I was completely naked, and that Merry and Pippin could awake at any moment, I pulled my old clothes out of my bag and pulled them on. It felt good to have jeans and a t-shirt on again. And I didn't care that I looked weird. I pulled on my cape, although it was more like a shawl now, and sat down to watch over the two hobbits.

About a half hour later they woke up, at the same time, as if on cue. They were on their stomachs, facing the opposite direction I was in, and both propped themselves up on their elbows.

"Where's Hillary?" Merry asked with a yawn.

"Dunno," Pippin replied. Then they noticed my hobbit clothes in a pile in front of them.

"My God," Merry said, making eye contact with Pippin. "She's naked somewhere!" Then I cracked up. They sat up and turned around, but as I kept laughing, they didn't say anything. I stopped, and looked at their faces. They looked shocked and scared.

"Hillary…" Merry said solemnly.

"What?" I asked, my eyes widening.

"You're…big…" Pippin said. It looked like both their eyes were welling up with tears. For a moment, I regretted what I had done, and felt like crying. But then I remembered how much I loved Link, and held the tears back. They both jumped to their feet and hurried towards me.

"Hillary…now we can't…" Pippin said slowly and unhappily.

"I'm sorry, Pip…Merry…but you have no idea how unhappy I was being small. Can you imagine being in my place? I…I wanted to be big again." They seemed to frown even more.

The rest of the day was torture. Both Merry and Pippin seemed pissed that they would never be able to be with me, and I was completely depressed not only because I had upset the hobbits, but because I missed my other three best friends. The traveling with Treebeard was awkwardly silent, and I was counting the days, the hours, minutes, and seconds till I could be with them again.

That's it for now, but I know Argentium is almost done with the next one, and I've already started chapter 25. You just wait! We'll finish this one! You'll see!

p.s. SHANKS FOR READING!


End file.
